


Ghosts

by Stanbillyhargrove



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Is Bad at Feelings, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Person, Blood, Blood and Gore, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Ghosts, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Original Character(s), Past Torture, Psychological Torture, Sex, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Substance Abuse, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 58,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stanbillyhargrove/pseuds/Stanbillyhargrove
Relationships: Billy Hargrove's Mother/Neil Hargrove, Billy Hargrove/Original Female Character(s), Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 18





	1. Prologue

She was six years old the first time. The first time she met a new friend and tried to bring them home to meet her mom only to be scolded for wasting time with imaginary friends. Her bright green eyes were dewy when she walked away, her friend silently walking beside her.

“You’re not imaginary, are you?” She asked the woman beside her.

The woman smiled down at her, her voice was wispy, like the wind, “they don’t understand. You’re special, Katrina.”

A light pink dusting rose on her cheeks as she smiled, “will you teach me how to braid my hair like you?”

The woman smiled brightly, ran a hand over her blonde braid, “of course my dear.”

With the patience only a loving mother could have, she sat with Katrina and showed her how to weave her hair into a perfect braid and whispered, “I always wanted a little girl.”

–

When Katrina was eight she met a boy at school. He had no hair, was thin and sickly, his face hollow. When she insisted to her teacher that there was a boy hiding behind her desk she got sent to the principal’s office for disrupting the class. There was a meeting with her parents and a counselor about her imaginary friends. Katrina had cried and swore that the boy was real and that’s when the endless line of doctors started. Bored old men who shoved pills at her, told her she was crazy, broken and called her friends hallucinations.

The blonde woman’s blue eyes burned with tears, “I’m real, Katrina. They’re trying to take you away from me. Please don’t leave me.”

Her parents forced the pills into her and told her to be good for once when she cried about it.

–

When Katrina was ten the doctors thought they had fixed her, she didn’t talk to imaginary people anymore. The blonde woman wasn’t holding her hand as she walked beside her anymore, wasn’t patiently teaching her how to do her hair. There were other people missing too, the little boy that liked to wander the playground with her and the old man who sat out in the garden admiring the flowers and other people Katrina saw every day but had never talked to. She felt their absence like a hole in her chest. Except at night, then they were all there in her dreams, smiling and laughing and happy to have her back. The blonde woman would wrap Katrina in her arms and squeeze her tight and hold her hand as they talked and she would cry when it was time for Katrina to leave, would plead for her to stay.

“Please, Katrina. Stay with me, I always wanted a little girl.”

But every morning her parents shoved the pills into her, told her if she didn’t take them she’d be sent away. That her friends weren’t real and she needed to realize that, grow up.

–

Katrina was fifteen she had mostly forgotten about her imaginary friends. They were just part of her dreams now, she didn’t think anything of it anymore. One night she was pulled from her dreams and dropped back into her bed. Her eyes were open but she couldn’t move, her limbs felt like they were full of cement. A looming presence made her start to panic, her heart racing as she tried to move, scream, anything. A man appeared in her line of sight, all shrouded in darkness. Her lungs were ready to explode with a scream that wouldn’t come out when he got closer. His face was gnarled, skin ripped away and twisted into a bloody mess. He moved in a jerking, twisting motion, limbs at odd angles like most of his bones had been broken. He loomed over her, so close she could see her reflection off his black eyes and drug one crooked, pointed finger down her cheek. Katrina felt like her heart was about to explode, like she was going to die from the pressure in her chest from the scream that wouldn’t come out. His mouth opened, thick, black blood pouring down his chin with a gurgling, choking sound. She woke up screaming, limbs flailing wildly and drenched in a layer of sweat. When her parents came running they said it was a nightmare, totally normal but to tell the doctors if she started getting them a lot. Explained away the scratch down her cheek by saying she probably did it during her sleep. But Kristina never found the courage to tell anyone that now when she touched someone images and memories popped into her head that weren’t her own.

There were a few beings like him, horrible, twisted things who made her feel like she was dying and left red scratches or purples bruises when they touched her. The doctors told her it was sleep paralysis, that she hurt herself waking up and that it was okay. The marks she could live with, they went away after a few days, it was the flash of memories in her head that scared her more. The choking smell of burning flesh or the feeling of lungs filling with water, the white hot agony of twisted bones or the slow burn that spread from gaping wounds, the sound of screeching metal and bright lights. She saw so many different things from their touch but they all had one thing in common, an all consuming rage.

–

By eighteen, Katrina had forgotten about her invisible friends from childhood. They were just figures in her dreams now. She still got sleep paralysis and would still wake up with scratches and bruises but it was just a weird quirk she thought. After graduation, Katrina fell in love with another girl, named Elle. Elle had grown up in the south, had sun streaked hair, lightly tanned skin and a slight twang to her voice that made Katrina swoon. But when she brought Elle home to meet her parent’s they couldn’t control themselves.

“Are you kidding me? I won’t have it,” her mother had spat, “you’re an embarrassment.”

“A fucking queer,” her father growled, “I’m not having a fucking queer for a daughter.”

Katrina was cut off, disgraced and treated like she didn’t exist to her parents anymore and so she moved in with Elle. Elle was loving and gracious and was always there for Katrina. She loved taking Katrina away from the day to day, whether that be climbing a mountain or creating date nights in their apartment, Elle was always finding ways to brighten Katrina’s life.

Katrina didn’t usually see bad things when Elle touched her, Elle was too happy to be consumed by bad feelings. Instead she felt the warmth of the sun on her face, saw them walking through a forest, glimpses of Katrina’s smile and tasted sweet tea on her tongue. Elle’s happiness was infectious, seeping into Katrina’s head with every touch.

–

It was October and Katrina and Elle were twenty three and planning a wedding when Katrina had a dream about Elle. Katrina was used to the crushing fear that accompanied sleep paralysis but Elle had never been in the dreams. This time, Katrina was watching as the twisted man from her nightmares lurched towards Elle, blood running in rivers down his body. Katrina tried desperately to move, to scream, to somehow alert Elle, but of course nothing worked. She watched in horror as the man inched closer to Elle’s sleeping body. When he was right next to her he looked over at Katrina with black eyes and twitched his mouth in what she thought was a grin. Katrina’s mind was screaming as she watched his mouth open to let black blood pour down his chin and onto Elle’s chest, then he reached out and tapped the center of her chest with his pointed finger, once, twice. Elle’s body twitched as her eyes and mouth opened and a scream echoed in Katrina’s ears, the same black blood now pouring from Elle’s lips in thick rivers.

Katrina was waiting for Elle at home two days later when she saw a smoky figure appear out of the corner. The room filled with the smell of old books and the feeling of crackling energy, like before a lightning strike. The figure swirled and billowed, tendrils of smoke curling off it as it moved through their apartment. Katrina stared in shock as it moved through their apartment and disappeared through the front door. She thought back to the morning, trying to remember if she had taken her pills. She had, she always took them first thing.

An hour later Katrina got a call from the hospital, there was an accident. Elle was dead when Katrina arrived, she’d had a brain hemorrhage while driving. Other than being sickly pale and frozen, Elle looked fine, the only mark on her was a black bruise in the center of her chest. When she touched Elle’s hand, she felt nothing, just a terrifying darkness that spread and threatened to consume her.

Katrina stopped taking her pills after Elle died, she couldn’t get herself out of bed long enough to get the refills. She started seeing people again, the blonde woman and the little boy, they stood by her bed and tried to comfort her. Being crazy was manageable, she thought, better than lonely.

Katrina had been alone in their house for months and when there were only two months left on the lease of their house she saw Elle for the first time. She was lying in bed and rolled over to search for the TV remote and instead saw Elle lying next to her.

“Elle? Am I dreaming?”

Elle’s face split into a warm smile, “wide awake, my love.”

“B-but…you’re…no that’s not true, you can’t be,” Katrina sputtered, backing away.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“No..no, I must be dreaming..”

Elle reached forward, ran a cold hand up Katrina’s arm, “don’t you love me?”

Katrina’s eyes swelled with tears when she felt the sun that usually came with Elle’s memories. It wasn’t right, it was muted like there was something blocking the feeling.

“I can’t…you’re gone, Ellie.”

The smell of Elle’s perfume wafted through the air, light and citrusy, it made Katrina’s chest hurt.

“But I’m right here, Katie. I missed you.”

Tears slid down Katrina’s face as she slid off the bed, whispering, “no, Ellie, this isn’t real. You’re not real, please. Please, go away.”

She closed her eyes tight and when she looked back at the bed, Elle was gone. Katrina saw her a couple more times before she decided to move out a few weeks later.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little intro chapter

Billy's POV

Mid February

"Hey, passed a moving truck on the way in. Did you meet your new neighbor yet?" Steve started talking as soon as he let himself into my apartment.

"Ever hear of knocking?" I quipped, dropping my xbox controller on the table to take the pizza box from his hands and bring it into the kitchen.

"What, afraid I'll see you naked? We had gym class together."

Steve kicked his shoes off at the door and walked to the kitchen to dig in the fridge for a beer before pulling a couple slices of gooey pizza onto one of the plates I'd grabbed.

I laughed, "maybe I had a lady here, you don't know."

"I have a key, I could come in anyway. And you told me to bring pizza for gaming, idiot. I knew there was nobody else here," he flopped down on the couch, "so, is that a yes or no to meeting the new neighbor?"

I shrugged and joined him on the couch, taking a huge bite of pizza as I did, "building's full of people I never met. Don't need to meet the newbie."

An hour later we heard a crash come from the apartment next to mine followed by loud swearing. Steve was up in an instant.

"Where you going?"

"Didn't you hear that? She obviously needs help."

I rolled my eyes before it clicked, "wait. She? How do you know?"

"I met her coming up the stairs, she's really nice and super hot," he explained, a smirk on his face.

I got up slowly, giving him a pointed look, "you're telling me there is a lady moving in next door and you didn't tell me? What the hell, Steve?"

Steve laughed, "I asked if you wanted to go meet her, you said no."

"You left out the very important detail of her being a her," I grumbled, slipping my shoes on, "fucking dick."

"Hey, where you going?" he asked between laughing.

"To go help her! Gotta be a good neighbor, Steve."

He followed me out into the hall, still giggling to himself, and to the next door down. Inside was my new neighbor, glaring down at an upside down couch and loosely holding a coffee in one hand. She had black and blue hair messily pulled up on top of her head, piercings dotted across her face and was wearing an open grey flannel over a black top, ripped black jeans and chunky black combat boots. Dotted over the bits of exposed pale skin were black tattoos that I wanted to memorize, trace with my tongue. I wondered if she had more hidden under her clothes.

"Hey, Katrina!" Steve chirped.

She startled a little and turned to see us watching her, a slow smile spreading over her face, "oh hey, Steve! Is this the boyfriend you were telling me about?"

Steve choked on his laugh when I sputtered and laid a hand on my shoulder, "yep, the love of my life."

"You fucking asshole," I groaned, pushing him away from me to walk into her apartment with my hand extended, "Billy. Steve is my idiot brother, not my boyfriend."

She laughed and placed her hand in mine, shook it once, let it linger a little, "Katrina. You guys don't look anything alike."

"I adopted him," Steve explained.

Katrina nodded slowly, "that makes more sense."

Steve pointed at the couch, "you need some help?"

She huffed, "yeah, I can't move that thing by myself. Just dropped it on my damn foot."

I smirked, "yeah, we heard that."

Steve and I spent the next couple hours helping Katrina get a little more settled. Moving things around and putting together her IKEA furniture while she unpacked boxes.

"Thank you boys, I owe you one," Katrina smiled, "give me your numbers, I'll text you for pizza or something, my treat."

\-- 2 weeks later, March

"No...you can't be here...left you.."

It was nearing midnight when I started to hear Katrina talking through our shared wall. The wall happened to go through our bedrooms which was a little awkward and also annoying when I was trying to sleep. The sound moved further into her apartment, muffling her words; it sounded like she was arguing with someone. Maybe a shitty ex she tried to run away from found her? But there was no other voice, only hers. I grabbed my phone and quickly sent her a text.

Me: You okay?

I didn't have to wait long before she answered.

Hot Neighbor: Yep, sorry if I woke you up. Pizza tomorrow to make up for it?   
Me: Sure, see you then   
\--   
"So, Katrina, why'd you move to New York?" Steve asked before filling his mouth with steaming pizza.   
The black roses on her shoulder rose and fell as she shrugged, "needed a new start. Get away from all the shit back home y'know? Something about New York called to me," she gently touched Steve's arm when she asked, "what about you boys?"  
"Billy convinced me to come out here for school after we graduated, been here for six years."   
A slow smile spread across Katrina's face and she turned to me, her hand moving to quickly touch my skin, "and you? Why'd you want to come here so badly?"   
"Same as you mostly, new start. That and Max wanted to go to school out here."   
I watched her eyebrows scrunch a little, "who's Max?"   
"My little sister."   
"Real sister or another adopted sibling?" She joked, gesturing at Steve.   
He took a drink from his beer and answered her, "step sister. Well, actually Billy's her legal guardian so technically more like his daughter?"   
I swiped my hand at him, knocking his arm at the same time that Katrina added, "you have a daughter? That's adorable, I bet that gets you all the ladies, girls love dads."   
I gave Steve a pointed look, "she's only a few years younger than us and that's not usually something I brag about."   
"Why not?" Katrina asked, "that's really cool of you to do that."  
My cheeks heated up, "well, I didn't have much of a choice at the time but she's all I've got other than this idiot."   
\--   
"What do you think of Katrina?" I whispered to Steve once we were back in my apartment.   
He looked at me, his eyebrows scrunched a little, "I think she's nice...really cool..definitely out of your league."   
I scowled at him.   
"Why?"   
"I dunno, sometimes I hear her at night and it's like she's arguing with somebody but there's no one else there...and she's kinda touchy, don't you think?"   
Steve laughed, "what? A girl touching you first scares you? And she's probably talking to someone on the phone, Billy."   
My mouth tightened in a hard line, "no, it's just..she doesn't know us, why's she so touchy?"   
Steve set his hand on my shoulder, "maybe she wants to kill us. Oh!" He feigned a shocked face, "I know this might be shocking to you but maybe she's just nice!"   
\-- April   
"You can't be here!" Katrina's voice floated through my walls again.   
It was two in the morning, she'd just gotten home from her shift at the bar and once again I was listening in on a one sided argument. Except this time, it sounded like she had an unwanted visitor.   
Well, fuck. I can't just let her deal with an intruder by herself.  
Grumbling, I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants before walking to her door. I didn't even get to knock before she was barreling out of the door, running right into my bare chest. Her face scrunched a little when she pulled back, her hands still on my arms.   
"Oh! I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"   
I looked down at her, took in the dark makeup around her eyes, the red lipstick that was wearing off around the ring in her lip and the revealing outfit that she had on and felt my dick twitch. With a great deal of effort, I moved her to the side and pushed past the door of her apartment.   
"Is there someone here?"   
Katrina's eyes flicked over to her kitchen before she shook her head, a light smile on her face, "nope, just me."   
"I heard you say someone was here."   
"Well you must be hearing things," she said quickly, pulling me back out the door so she could lock it behind us.   
"Are you okay? I can get rid of whoever it is."   
"Night, Billy," she murmured before walking away as fast as she could.   
What the hell just happened?


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina and Billy have breakfast together

Katrina's POV  
Billy's memories when I first touched him in my apartment were intoxicating. The smell of salt water lingering on my skin after swimming, the warmth of sun that threatened to scald skin. I wanted more of that, to sit all night and trail my hand along his skin and keep soaking in the warmth that I so desperately craved.   
Elle had been showing up more and more, even though I wanted her to leave. Sitting on the counter while I cooked, trying to bury her nose in my hair while I showered. It didn't matter how many times I cried and begged for her to leave me alone. How many times I said it wasn't fair to keep seeing her.  
I was rushing out of my apartment after seeing Elle again when I smacked into Billy's chest. I instantly felt the fear of a child listening to their parents yelling and the need to protect someone. Then, when he looked down at me it changed and I saw faceless bodies twisting with mine, tasted their sweat and the sweet burn of alcohol. I hurried away from him, went to a bar and didn't come back until after my shift the next day. Spent the night with a boy who offered me a pill and wanted to take me home, another boy who's memories were flooded with sweaty bodies that whined and moaned. I didn't see Elle anymore that night, not after I took the pill, I didn't see anyone that I shouldn't. The emptiness where they usually had been was sort of peaceful but as soon as the drugs wore off as I slept in my bed Elle was right there again.   
"What do you want?" I hissed at her, "you're not real."  
"Oh, Katie, if I'm not real why can you feel me?" She asked, dragging her hand along my waist.  
The smell of my shampoo and a sweet morning kiss filled my thoughts.  
"Ellie," I whimpered, "I'm dreaming."  
Her hand trailed down to dip between my thighs, making me whine with her teasing.  
I was thoroughly aroused when she whispered, "tell golden boy not to make toast."  
I saw smoke pour out of a door and smelled the acidic stench of burnt bread and woke with a start, still feeling the cool touch of Elle's hand on me even though she had vanished. Quickly sent Billy a text even though it was four in the morning.  
\- Don't burn the toast.  
I dipped my hand under my pajama shorts, felt the wetness that had begun to pool there and spread it around with a soft sigh. Reached over to grab a vibrator from the bottom drawer of my bedside table, turned it on and pressed it against my clit. Bit my lip to muffle any sounds as I gave myself up to the feeling. Came with a quiet groan and then sank back into my bed to go back to sleep.  
I woke up a few hours later to the sound of a fire alarm. I jumped out of my bed, pulled on my leather jacket and stepped out into the hall of the building. The door to Billy's apartment was open, a little trail of smoke streaming out from it. Waving the smoke away, I walked up to his door and saw him by an open window in his living room trying to fan the smoke outside. He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, his upper body bare and flexing as he tried to wave the smoke out the window.  
"Hey neighbor, what happened?"  
His head whipped around to look at me, "burnt my fucking breakfast, thank you very much."  
I held my hands up as I leaned against the door, "hey now, don't get mad at me, I was sleeping."  
"I was trying to figure out your stupid text and then," he swept his hand out towards the kitchen.  
I looked over at the blackened bread sticking out of the toaster, the dry eggs stuck to the bottom of a pan and whispered, "holy shit."  
I can tell the future? No, no way, it's just a coincidence.  
"Yeah, holy shit," he grumbled, stepping away from the window now that the air had cleared a bit.   
"You know toasters have timers on them right?"  
He gave me a withering look as he walked back to his kitchen to throw his breakfast in the trash, "shut up."  
I closed the door behind me as I stepped into his apartment, "do you work today?"  
Billy shook his head, "nah, just gunna hit the gym and hang out."  
"Well why don't I make you breakfast? Or we could go get something? Since I apparently made you wreck your first one," I smirked, trying to hold in my laugh.  
"Sure," he grumbled, "what cha got?"   
"I make amazing french toast and I have sausages," I offered.  
"Sounds great," I watched his eyes rake up and down my body, taking in my barely there pajamas, "nice shorts."  
I gave him a pointed look, "you are no more dressed than I am."  
He scratched at his bare abs, a grin on his face, "least I have pants on," he joked, plucking a shirt off his couch before following me out.  
\--  
I passed a plate to Billy, who was sitting on my kitchen counter, looking around at my apartment. Piled high on his plate was french toast, made just the way Elle taught me with just a hint of orange for brightness.   
"Your place is..." he started.  
I cocked an eyebrow at him, taking a bite of my french toast as I waited for him to choose his words.  
"Chaotic?"  
I looked around at all the plants I'd collected since I moved in. They were everywhere, filling windowsills, shelves and a couple tables. I loved the comfort of them, like I was living in a tropical jungle, but in truth it wasn't me who wanted them all. It was the blonde woman, Olivia. She'd point out neglected plants in the store all the time, telling me that it needed to be brought home and loved, she always knew exactly what they needed. And who am I to argue? So they always came home and flourished under our care.  
"I like plants," I explained.  
A wistful smiled stretched across his face and I grazed my hand up his arm so I could see what was going through his mind. The giggles of a young boy hiding among plants, the smell of the flowers around me, a womans voice pretending she didn't know where her son had gone.   
"Growing up my mom always had a garden outside, used to spend hours out there."  
"So what makes this chaotic?"   
His smile faltered as he looked down to his plate, "just been a long time, and she never had them inside."  
I pulled my hand away from him when I heard a man shouting in my head. We made some light small talk as we ate our breakfast until Billy put his empty plate down and jumped off the counter.   
"Well..I should get ready to hit the gym, gotta meet Steve before he goes to work. Thanks for breakfast."  
Olivia appeared just behind his shoulder, her long fingers brushing through his hair, "so pretty," she cooed, "have one, sweet boy."  
I watched Billy, expecting a reaction but he didn't move, he couldn't feel her there. Of course he couldn't, I'm hallucinating.  
"Do you want one?" I blurted out, "a plant?"  
He looked confused for a moment, "what?"  
"A plant, do you want one? Little neighborly present?"  
He squinted at me before slowly nodding, "sure?"  
Olivia beamed, slowly walked to one of my windows and pointed at a cactus with a little yellow flower on the top. I went over, grabbed it and offered it to Billy.  
"How about this one? It's really easy to take care of, just put it in a warm window and give it a little bit of water every now and again."  
He regarded me softly, reached out and took the little plant from me, "thanks."  
\-- 2 weeks later  
"Jesus, Elle, what are you doing?"   
It's late at night again, I think Elle likes me being sleep deprived since she usually shows up when I should be sleeping. Right now, she was stretched out across my bed, only in a grey bra and panties. The black bruise on her chest was a stark contrast against her skin.  
"Come to bed, Baby," she urged, her hand trailing down her chest.  
I huffed, running my hand over my face, "why am I hallucinating this?"  
She got up and stepped in front of me, grabbed my hand to place it on her icy hip, "I'm real, Katie."  
"No!" I yelled, backing away from her, "you're not! You're dead and I'm...I'm fucking crazy and torturing myself!"   
I stepped out of her reach, not listening to her calls as I stormed out of my apartment. Instead, I went to a club and found a pretty girl with drugs who took me home with her. We tangled in her bed, moaning and high for two days until her boyfriend called. He was on his way home and I had to hurry to gather my stuff and stumble back to my apartment.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is an idiot

Billy's POV   
"Steve, I think she cursed me."  
I had rushed to Steve's apartment as soon as I left Katrina's. Rushed to tell him about breakfast and the text she'd sent me. He was barely containing his laughter behind his fist and was looking at me like I'd lost my mind.  
Steve cleared his throat, taking a deep breath before asking, "you think she's a witch based on the fact that you can't cook?" He snickered a little, "why would she curse you? So she can make you breakfast and give you a plant?"   
I narrowed my eyes at him, "but she knew! She predicted it!"  
"Or," he smirked, "you happened to burn your food the same day she sent you a random text. I mean, you can't cook for shit, Billy."  
"Fuck you, Steve."  
\-- May  
After the breakfast fiasco I'd been a little nervous around Katrina. She hadn't sent me any more weird texts but I didn't know what to do after that, was she psychic? Or trying to curse me? I could hear her talking sometimes, arguing with someone before slamming her door and disappearing for anywhere from a couple hours to a couple days. The past few days though had been quiet, I could hear her moving around her apartment but no voices. I almost turned away from our building's laundry room when I saw her, but I was curious and she saw me before I could turn around.  
"Hey, you," she mumbled.  
Katrina looked like she hadn't slept in days, she had last nights makeup still smeared under her eyes making them look even more sunken. Her now black and red hair was pulled up messily, sticking out in all directions like she hadn't bothered to brush it. She was wearing shorts that showed just the smallest hint of her ass with her knees tucked up under her chin. Damnit, she might be crazy or a witch or whatever but she's so fucking hot.  
"Hey, Katrina. Haven't seen you in a while."  
She hummed, "I've been around, just hiding."  
"Hiding from whoever you keep arguing with?"  
She smiled and tapped on her nose. I started one of the washing machines and leaned against it to watch her.  
"Who is it? That you keep arguing with? Shitty ex boyfriend who won't leave you alone?"  
She laughed a little, "she was my fiance actually."  
"Oh, wow...so you're a lesbian? Cool, cool, cool...is that why you moved here? To get away from her?"  
Katrina slid her legs down to the ground and I tried not to look at the way the leg of her shorts hung open, revealing too much.   
"I'm bi actually. And yeah, tried to escape my old life..followed me though."  
"Well, if you need someone to distract you for a while, you could call me."  
She smirked, sidled up to me and got close, so fucking close and purred, "yeah? You gunna come to my rescue, pretty boy? Show me a good time to distract me from my past?"   
I could feel my cock thickening in my sweatpants as her hand slid up my arm and willed myself to stay in control.   
I swallowed hard and choked out, "if that's what you want."  
Fuck, why does she make me so nervous?  
A lazy smile stretched across her face and she moved away just as one of the dryers started to chime. I swear, she made a show of bending over to pull her clothes into a basket. Katrina was faced away from me so I could see her ass stretch out from under her shorts as she bent down, I wanted to sink my teeth into her, leave bite marks hidden among her black tattoos. I had to adjust myself quickly to hide my boner before she turned around.   
Katrina turned to look me up and down, "come and find me when your...load is done."  
Oh jesus, this girl is trouble.  
\--  
"Fuck," I growled against her lips.  
I'd practically run up to my apartment as soon as my laundry was finished and realized that Katrina was nowhere to be found. I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in my apartment, growing increasingly more pissed off until I decided to go out in search of someone to take my frustration out on. Brought some bubblegum blonde, Tiffany or some shit I couldn't remember, home late at night, both of us very intoxicated.  
We wasted no time getting into my apartment and ripping each other's clothes off and now I had her pressed up against the wall, my hands gripping her ass tight to hold her up. Her smooth legs wrapped around my hips, keeping us close together as I thrust up into her wet heat.   
The girl's one hand was twisted in my hair, the other digging into my shoulder almost painfully. She gave a breathy laugh before pulling our mouths together for a sloppy kiss. A hard pull on my hair had me moaning against her and I reciprocated by thrusting into her as hard as I could, which earned me a gasp. She started to pull her head back but I caught her bottom lip in my teeth before she could go too far. When I finally let her go she buried her head against my neck, whining loudly.  
"Yes, Billy, please," she moaned.  
"Yeah," I groaned, thrusting harder as I felt my orgasm approaching, "fucking cum for me."  
It didn't take long before she bit down on my shoulder, her body tensing as she cried out. I continued my pace through her orgasm, feeling her walls pulse around me and finally let go when she started to come down, thrusting hard as I filled her.   
We stayed there for a moment, catching our breath before I slowly let her down. There was no softness after, she just started to collect her clothes on shaking legs. The usual routine for my hook ups, a quick fuck before stumbling home. My dick twitched when I watched her bend over to pick up her underwear. I could see my cum leaking out from her pink, swollen lips and licked my lips as I stepped forward to grab her hips. Maybe I can get her to stay a while longer.  
She giggled and pulled away from me, "I should really get going."  
Was it that I wanted her to stay or was it that I was still angry that the girl I really wanted to fuck had ditched me? I was pretty sure I knew the answer, so I decided not to think about it too much and let her leave as I grabbed another beer out of the fridge.  
No matter how spent I was, the thought of Katrina's ass stretching out of her shorts, still had me frustrated and horny like a fucking teenager. After tossing and turning in bed for a while, I settled on taking an icy shower to try to calm myself before going to sleep.  
\--  
"Hey! Wakey, wakey, Billy!"   
I woke up in the morning to the sound of voices in my apartment and reluctantly rolled out of bed to investigate.   
Found Katrina and Steve huddled on my couch laughing and devouring breakfast sandwiches with three coffee cups on the table.   
"What the fuck is going on?" I grumbled.  
Steve looked at me innocently, "there he is! Katrina texted me for breakfast."  
I stared at him humbly for a second, "Katrina texted you for breakfast...at my apartment?"  
"Well she said you had a late night visitor so we thought we'd be nice and bring breakfast to you."  
Katrina was trying and failing to stifle her laughter when I glared at them.  
"I hate you," I mumbled, joining them on the couch and digging into a greasy sandwich.   
Katrina wiggled her eyebrows at me, "so...?"  
"So what?" I asked around a mouthful of egg.  
"Where is she?"  
"Gone," I snapped.  
"Oh, Billy, did you not do good enough for her to stay?" Steve joked.  
I scowled, they're having too much fucking fun with this.   
Katrina kept the joke rolling with, "what happened, big guy? Pop too soon? Wait...was that like, your...no way!" She looked at Steve, fake surprise on her face, "he popped his cherry!"  
They collapsed into a fit of giggles before Katrina looked back at me, "now you have to marry her!"  
"I hate you both," I grumbled, "get out."  
Steve shook his head, "no way! We're hanging out all day, already made the plans!"  
"I really need new friends."  
\--  
Their plans consisted of touring around New York and doing stupid shit like mini golfing. It took hours before Steve left to go to the bathroom and I was left alone with Katrina for a minute.  
"Where did you go yesterday?" I asked, trying not to sound pissed.  
She turned and gave me a look. Batted her fucking bedroom eyes at me.  
"You were taking too long, with your...load. I went to Steve's instead. No hard feelings right?"  
I heard Steve coming back before I could think of a reply, before I could growl out a threat to take her right then and there. Spent the rest of the afternoon pissed at both of them until we made our way back to our apartments where they sprung more plans on me.   
"Get ready, pretty boy we're going out!"  
I groaned, "do we have to? Aren't you guys tired?"  
I knew Steve always had tons of energy but I was surprised that Katrina was still wanting to go out. Yesterday when I saw her she looked like she hadn't slept in days. She did seem better today though, more energized.  
"Come on, Billy," Katrina whined, "we wanna go out and have fun."  
Steve let her try to convince me, knowing that she had a better chance than he did. And she did have a better chance, cause as soon as she fluttered her big green eyes at me I knew I was going out tonight.   
\--  
Katrina's hips swayed hypnotically to the pounding music in the club. Unfortunately though, they weren't swaying against me, they were against another girl's instead. I was leaning against the bar, nursing a drink and trying not to drool over the way her tiny black dress was riding up her thighs. We'd been here for a couple hours and even though I'd been approached by a couple girls, I couldn't focus on anything but Katrina.  
"Hey man," Steve called over the music, "how you doing?"  
I locked eyes with Katrina over his shoulder, watched her pull her lip between her teeth as she danced.  
"I think I'm gunna go home."  
Steve looked over at her and nodded, "yeah, me too. Gotta get some sleep before work."


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Katrina get closer, the twisted man makes a visit

Katrina's POV

I came down from my high the morning after going out with Steve and Billy and spent the next few days hiding in my apartment. I called in sick to work and stayed huddled in my bed trying to sleep.   
Seeing Elle was hard, I don't know why I kept hallucinating her since it upset me so much but she was always around, keeping the wound of losing her open and raw. Even if I couldn't see her I could tell she was close by the smell of her citrusy perfume.  
I figured out that the only way to keep her away was to be high, so when it got too much I went searching for someone willing to share their drugs with me. Nothing hard but something that was just enough to make me happy again and keep her out of my mind. Last week, I found someone to sell me speed and I'd ridden the high all week, not sleeping and not coming down until I ran out. And now, she was here again, in my bed and chastising me.  
"Why don't you want to see me, Katie? Don't you love me?"  
Elle was wearing a dark red flannel open over ripped jean shorts, the white tank top underneath did nothing to hide the bruise on her chest.  
I lifted my head from my pillows to look at her and mumbled, "how come you always look different?"   
"Hmm?"  
I waved my hand at her, "you're always different, why?"  
"Well I didn't always look the exact same now did I?"  
"Hmm..guess not," I murmured, burying my head again.  
There was a moment of silence before I felt her hand running over my back, flooding my head with her thoughts. Orange leaves falling and cracking under feet, the taste of bubblegum ice cream-her favorite-and one of her favorite songs being quietly hummed under her breath. But everything held that same muted note, a little less vibrant than in real life.  
"Katrina?"  
I hummed, not moving.  
"You didn't answer me. Do you not love me?"  
I sighed, turning my head to peer at her again, "of course I do, Ellie...but..you're gone, dead...you're never coming back."  
"So you want to forget me?"  
I reached out, laced my fingers with her cold ones, "I can't forget you...but I can't pretend you're alive either and every time you're here it's like I lose a little piece of me all over again."  
She took a second, like she was thinking about what I said, before someone else appeared. A young girl, dressed all in black with long open cuts down her arms.  
"Someone's coming," she whispered.  
I scrambled to sit up, "what, who the fu-"  
There was a loud knock on my apartment door and I stared in the direction stupidly for a minute until the knocking happened again.  
Who the hell is this girl? I thought as I crawled out of bed to answer the door. I opened it slowly and saw Billy standing there.  
"Hey..?"  
"Hey, neighbor, just checking on you. Haven't heard from you since the club, I tried texting you."  
I gave him a thin smile, "I wasn't feeling good."  
He pushed past me and I realized he was carrying take out bags, "yeah, that happens when you come down."  
"What? How did you know?"   
He scoffed as he set the bags on the kitchen counter, "please. I'm not stupid."   
I shut my mouth with a scowl and watched him pull out containers of Panda Express and set them down on the counter.  
"I also know you haven't left your apartment for the past three days and I'm sure you haven't eaten anything either," he explained as he pulled out the last containers.  
I walked around him to pull chopsticks and forks out of a drawer and teased, "are you stalking me?"  
Billy chuckled, "just looking out for you. It's either me or Steve and trust me, he's the worst to have around when you're hungover or coming down."  
"Why?"  
"He can be a little much at times, he's a nurse. Which is great if you accidentally cut your hand open cooking," he smiled, holding up his hand so I could see the scar running across it, "but shit if you just need sleep, food and water. Talks too much."  
I giggled, "well...thanks."  
"I just got mine and Steve's regular order," he explained then gave me a stern look, "somebody didn't answer their phone so you better like it."  
I felt my cheeks heat up as he unboxed containers of orange chicken, broccoli and beef, chow mein, egg rolls and potstickers. My stomach growled loudly at the smell, making both of us laugh.  
"See? I knew you hadn't eaten."  
\--   
Both of us were leaned back on my couch watching Netflix after we had stuffed ourselves with food. Billy hummed a little as he looked at me.  
"What? Something on my face?"  
He smiled and shook his head, "no, just thinking."  
I cocked an eyebrow at him, "you gunna share?"  
"Just trying to figure you out."  
I pulled my legs up and shifted so I was facing him, "what do you want to know."  
"Everything. I don't know anything about you."  
I smiled, "isn't the mystery fun?"  
He laughed a little, "shut up. Where are you from?"  
"Illinois. You?"  
"Born in California, moved to Indiana when I was young. What do you do for work?"  
"I was a tattoo artist before I moved, now I work at a bar. What about you?"  
"Child psychologist."  
"Wow, that's intense. And you live here? In this shithole apartment building?"  
"Gotta pay off my loans somehow," he joked, "I don't mind it too much, meet some pretty interesting people."  
"Why'd you want to do that? Isn't that kind of depressing?" I asked, stretching out my hand to touch his wrist lightly.  
I heard yelling again, smelled the tang of alcohol soaked breath, felt my breath hitch with fear.  
"I wanted to help people. It can get kinda depressing sometimes though. Why'd you want to be a tattoo artist?"  
"I love art and I always wanted to be covered in tattoos so it was the right fit."  
Billy nodded, "why'd you end up at a bar then?"  
"I'm just not in the best place right now, needed to do something else until I get myself back together."  
He hummed, "sounds like you could use a shrink."  
I scoffed, "you do not want to know what's going on up here," I tapped the side of my head, "it would scare you off."   
"You'd be surprised what it takes to scare me."  
\-- July  
"Jesus christ, it's fucking warm," Billy complained as he stepped into my apartment.  
We'd gotten closer in the past months, enough that he felt comfortable letting himself in without knocking first. I was sitting in front of the tiny window A/C unit, a blue plastic cup of homemade sweet tea beside me and dressed in a black bralette and shorts. We were in the middle of a heat wave that had everybody complaining. Elle was loving it, or so she said, I don't know if my hallucinations had any concept of temperature. She had been sitting beside me, feet kicked up into the window to soak up the sun when Billy came in.   
"What a baby," she teased.  
I smirked and looked up at him, "aren't you from California? You should be used to this."  
"Yeah," he huffed, sitting next to me to let the A/C blow on his face, "but if it was this hot I was surfing. We also had better A/C and I was a kid."  
"So you're getting whiny in your old age?"  
He turned to glare at me and playfully bumped my shoulder, "fuck off. Steve and I are going out to cool off, you coming?"  
I looked at him in his disheveled dress shirt and pants, he had undone most of the buttons of his shirt, revealing the sweat dripping down his pecs.   
"You're going out like that?"  
"I'm just gunna put shorts on, figured I'd stop here first in case you needed a couple minutes to get ready."  
I grabbed my sweet tea and stood up, "I'm ready."  
He led me back to his apartment so he could change, stripping off his dress shirt in the living room to reveal a blue rose on his back. Elle and the new girl I've been seeing, Ally I learned, started making comments beside me.  
"Yeah, this heat wave can last forever," Ally joked, winking at me.  
I rolled my eyes and sat down on the arm of his couch, taking a sip of my tea while I waited for him. Billy reappeared a couple minutes later wearing a pair of grey shorts and a blue tank top. I smirked when I saw the tattoo on his bicep, a traditional style skull with a cigarette.  
"Nice ink."  
He twisted his arm to look at it, "yeah, I was drunk when I got that one."  
I snorted, "of course. What about the one on your back?"  
"Got it for my mom."  
"Here you are, hey Katrina," Steve started when he walked into Billy's apartment, "you should get your air conditioner checked, it was freezing in your apartment."  
Billy and I looked at him, confused, "we were just in there, it was hot."  
He shrugged, "well it's freezing now. It's kind of cold in here too actually."  
"Maybe you're getting sick, Steve."  
\--  
The twisted man loomed in the corner of Billy's apartment, his presence sucking the oxygen from the air. I was sticky from the summer heat and fear, it felt like I was melting.   
Of course I'd get sleep paralysis now, in Billy's apartment, sandwiched between him and Steve on the floor. We'd decided to come back here after our night out and had all passed out in a heap of pillows and blankets in front of the TV.  
In the corner, just out of my sight, was the twisted man, I knew it was him without having to see him. I tried to whimper, to scream, anything, even though I knew it was hopeless. After a moment I could hear a tiny whimper beside me. Steve's here, I can feel his arm under mine, can hear his panic echoing with mine in my head. I urged with every ounce of my being for the man to leave Steve alone so I wouldn't have to relive someone dying because of him. Except, he didn't seem to care about Steve, he just kept limping closer to me without sparing Steve a glance. He eventually shambled up to me, his twisted face inches from my own. A pointed finger dragged down my neck just as his mouth opened with a gurgling scream.   
I woke up screaming, echoed by Steve and then Billy mere seconds later.  
"What the fuck?" Billy yelled.   
I scrambled to my feet, stammering, "I'm sorry..I need, I need to go."  
Steve was panting like he'd just run a marathon, his eyes were wild with panic as he watched me leave. Billy tried to call me back, still confused, but I was already out the door.  
I was fumbling with my keys, my hands shaking so bad I couldn't fit them into my door when Steve joined me in the hall. I dropped my keys on the floor when I heard the door close. Steve and I bent down at the same time to pick them up, our faces nearly touching.  
"What the fuck was that?" He hissed.  
"I..I don't..I don't know what you're talking about," I murmured.  
Steve grabbed my keys and opened the door, watching me the entire time like I was dangerous. When the door was open he grabbed my arm and held me back from going into my apartment. I felt the echo of fear in his mind, heard the same screeching metal that always accompanied the twisted man. I tried to pull my arm from his grasp but he held tight.  
"What the hell just happened?"  
"Steve, I don't know what you mean."  
"I saw you! In the nightmare and that monster...it touched you!" He let go of me then so he could push my hair back, exposing the bruise I knew I'd have on my neck, "it left a mark! I was there but I couldn't move, what was that?"  
"Steve. Nothing happened. It was just a nightmare. Please," I gave him a last glance before hurrying into my apartment and locking the door behind me.  
I didn't go back to sleep that night, just curled into myself on the couch and stared at the wall until the sun started to fill my apartment.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina deals with the aftermath of her nightmare

Katrina's POV

How was Steve able to see into my nightmare? Sure, our arms were touching but Elle was never in my nightmares until the twisted man touched her but it didn't seem like he even noticed that Steve was there. How was it even possible?  
It's been a week since the sleep paralysis incident and I haven't been able to shake the darkness in my mind since. Every night I've had nightmares of twisted, rotting hands grabbing and pulling me down, each night further than the last.  
I tried busying myself, tried floating high through my day, the only brief respite from it was when I would follow someone home from the bar and lose myself in their memories. But nobody burned bright enough to chase away the dark completely, it always came back. The looming dark nothing, threatening to take me until I couldn't feel anymore.   
I'd spent most of today lying in my bed coming down. I was curled up, giving in to the dark when Olivia appeared beside me, gently running her hand over my hair. I could feel dirt crunching under my feet and the wind gently blowing my hair past my shoulders. She was humming quietly, it was an eerily comforting tune, hauntingly beautiful, one that she'd hummed since I was little. It calmed me down a little bit, just easing the jagged edge of fear enough for me to unfurl a little.  
"Olivia?" I whispered.  
"Yes, my girl?"  
"Why do I still feel like this? Why won't it go away?"  
Her mouth eased up in a sad smile, "you let them in, my sweet. To keep that boy safe. You need to burn it out now, find the light."  
I hummed, took a second to think, "I think I need to see Steve."  
Maybe, since he started this, he can end it. I reached over to grab the baggy of pills off my bedside table before getting dressed.  
\--  
I'd texted Steve earlier to tell me when he got home and night was creeping in by the time I got the one word text.   
Steve: Home.  
I showed up a few minutes later, repeatedly buzzing his apartment until the door to the building opened. When I found his apartment I pounded on the door until it opened, revealing Steve, hair damp and messy from a shower. He was wearing a grey tshirt and black sweatpants and looked like he wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep right now.  
"What's going on, Katrina? You need something?"  
"No," I murmured quickly before grabbing his face and kissing him.  
A sound of surprise was muffled behind Steve's lips and there was a moment, a brief moment, where he wanted me. Where his lips softened and his body leaned into mine and I could feel Steve's memories. The soft skin of another girl, delicate under trailing fingers, the sound of her gasp in my ear, the swell of my heart as we moved together. I could feel the darkness started to fade, to soften at the edges, but it wasn't going away, not completely. My fingers twisted in his long hair, drawing him close. Slender fingers dipped under my shirt to rest on my hips. I swiped my tongue across his lip and moved my hands down to pull at his shirt.  
Steve broke away from me, his jaw clenching before murmuring, "what are you doing?"  
"Do you feel the dark too?" I whispered.  
"Do I feel the what?" He asked, leaning back to look at me closely, "jesus, you're high right now? God damnit, Katrina, is that why you texted me? To help you come down? I worked all day, I'm fucking tired."  
I shook my head slowly, trailing my hands down his arms, "tell me what you felt, Steve, in the dark. Is it taking you too?"  
With a groan, he pulled me further into his apartment, away from the front door. It was nicer than mine and Billy's apartments, cleaner and newly renovated but warm and homey. Pictures covered the walls, weird knick knacks filled shelves and there was a stack of fluffy blankets in the living room. He closed the door behind me and pushed me towards his living room and onto a plush black couch. Left for a moment to grab a glass of water and a bottle of Gatorade and handed them to me.  
"Here, drink these. What did you take?"  
I shrugged, gave him a small smile as I sipped at the water. Steve rolled his eyes and pressed two fingers against the side of my neck, holding them there for a second.  
"Do you know what day it is? Where you are? How much of what you took?"  
When I didn't answer he snapped his fingers in front of my nose.  
"Hey, you need to tell me what you took so I know how to take care of you."  
I snorted, "Billy was right."  
"About what?"  
"You do talk too much."  
I watched the muscle in his jaw tense again, "excuse me for trying to make sure you're okay. You want my help or what?"  
"Steve. I need to know if you felt anything that night. Do you still feel it?"   
"What, with the nightmare? You were right, it was just a nightmare. I was just scared, I've never had sleep paralysis before. What do you mean do I still feel it? Feel what?"  
I grabbed his hand, "do you feel like the darkness is taking over everything? I've been trying to chase it away but nothing worked, she said I need to burn it out. I thought you'd be able to fix it..to fix me so I can feel again."  
He looked worried and confused, "who's she? Are you hallucinating? Jesus, stay here, I'll get my keys, I'm taking you to the hospital," he got up and went to his room to grab his keys.  
I was gone before he could come back.  
\--  
Steve: Where did you go?  
Steve: I'm just trying to help you.  
Steve: I won't take you to the hospital, just let me know you're okay. You can stay here if you need to.  
I groaned and clicked my screen off before stuffing my phone in my pocket and trudging up the stairs to my apartment. Olivia was wrong, Steve hadn't been the answer. I was going to be consumed by the dark. I wondered if Elle felt the darkness before it took her too. Is that what's happening? Has my countdown started and now I'm just waiting for the dark to take me?  
I was met with a wall of warmth at the top of the stairs and nearly fell down backwards. Billy scrambled to catch me, his hands grabbing my bare arms. My mind was flooded with sunlight, burning the darkness back.  
"Katrina? Steve just called me, he said you ran off. We were going to look for you."  
I grabbed the sides of his face, my fingers sliding into his hair and pressed my mouth to his, greedy for his warmth.  
"Found me."  
\--  
Billy's hands burned where they dug into my hips, holding me tight to his chest. We had stumbled into his apartment, discarding clothes as we went until we were pressed naked against the kitchen counter.   
"Billy," I whined.  
His mouth traveled down my neck, hot and harsh where he nipped tender skin. Fingers twisted in my hair and pulled at a pierced nipple. I could taste the sweat of faceless girls in Billy's memories, could hear drunken whines and moans. A quiet memory of a man yelling, berating his son to call him a fag flashed through my mind.  
Strong hands slid to grab the crest of my ass, squeezing hard before effortlessly lifting me to the edge of the counter.   
"Katrina," he breathed, nosing his way along my jaw.  
Our mouths clashed, angry and wet as he entered me. We lost ourselves in harsh bites and breathy moans, sweat mixing as we let out emotions we'd been trying to bottle up. Marked each other with bites and scratches as we keened, Billy moving us from the counter to his couch, his bed and against almost every wall along the way. The night had given way to early morning by the time we were finally spent, falling into a sweaty, panting heap on his bed.  
Billy was nearing sleep within seconds, his breath evening out as it fanned across the top of my head. I gently ran my fingers up and down his arm, soaking in the warmth of his memories until I also succumbed to sleep.  
I woke up a few hours later, the sun just barely starting to peek over the horizon. Billy was snoring lightly beside me, his arm curled loosely around my waist.   
I shouldn't have stayed here, this was just a hook up, I should have left. Gently, I slid free from his grasp, worrying my lip between my teeth the whole time. I was just sliding my shirt over my head when Billy woke up.  
"Where you going?" He mumbled.  
"Leaving. Before we regret this," I answered softly.  
I didn't wait for his reply, just wrapped my arms around myself and retreated back to my own apartment and my own cold, empty bed.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina gives Billy a present

Billy's POV   
August

Katrina's moans sounded different than when she was with me, forced almost. We'd had sex a few times since that night, when she'd show up angry and let it out as we fucked on every surface of my apartment. She never stayed, always left right after or in the middle of the night. No feelings that way, she said.  
Tonight though, she'd brought home a random from the bar that I knew wasn't satisfying her. Hearing her fake moans had me frustrated and horny, I needed to have her again.  
I waited until I heard her current play thing leave before I texted her, I could hear the little chirp when she got the text.  
Me: sound frustrated, need some help with that?   
Hot Neighbor: you eavesdropping?  
I tapped my knuckles on the wall that separated us before I typed the next text.  
Me: hard not to.  
Hot Neighbor: what makes you think you're any better?   
Me: oh, bratty today. I know those were fake sounds.  
Hot Neighbor: or I could finish myself...  
Me: fuck you, get over here.  
I could hear her cackling through the wall and got out of bed to meet her at the door. Katrina had quickly thrown on a hoodie that just barely covered her grey lace panties. She rushed into my apartment, closing the door behind her so I could cage her against it. I growled against her throat as I lifted her legs up around my hips. She smelled of sex, her skin still dewy with sweat that I caught on my tongue. My one hand slid up her hoodie to grab at her hip, the other going up to slide my thumb across her lip as I nipped at her collarbone. Her lips parted to allow two of my fingers to slide past, a light hum in her throat as she sucked on them. I pulled my hand from her hip to shove my pajama pants down and pull her panties to the side before plunging into her. I moaned loudly and was rewarded with a high pitched gasp from Katrina.  
"Tell me about your play thing," I murmured.  
Katrina licked her lip, let out a breathy laugh and starting talking between moans, "Trish, or something, didn't care, she had," she whined loudly, "huge fucking tits, no game though, fucking pillow princess."  
I laughed, my teeth running along her jaw, "don't worry, Baby, I'll take care of you."  
\--  
Katrina drug her nails softly up and down my arm as we laid on the couch trying to catch our breath. Slowly, she started to get up and I had to stop myself from stopping her and holding her tight. As much as I like hook ups and one night stands, being left afterwards is starting to get old and lonely. I'm tired of it, I'm starting to want to find my person.   
"You could stay, you know," I offered, trying my best to not appear too eager.  
Katrina's green eyes met mine as she pulled her hoodie back on, "haven't had enough of me yet?"  
"Never."  
A small smile played on the corner of her lip as her face softened and she slowly laid back down on the couch. I wrapped my arms around her and tucked her head under my chin so she was against my chest.  
"I guess you are pretty comfortable," she murmured, nuzzling into me.  
\-- October   
Katrina's POV 

It was nearing the anniversary of Elle's death when I started being followed to and from work by a tiny kitten. A little jet black bundle of fur that padded along behind me, mewing constantly. It followed me to the bar and back to my apartment in the early morning, seemingly wanting me to bring it home. I wanted to bring it to a rescue but whenever I tried to grab it it would puff up and scitter away. I tried sitting outside with food but the nights were getting frosty and so I'd leave food on the ground and leave the kitten alone.  
A week of this went by before a bitterly cold night came along and I couldn't bring myself to leave the poor thing outside. So I ran up to my apartment, bundled up with jackets, heated up a bowl of chicken and grabbed a warm towel before going back outside. I set the bowl down close to my feet and sat on the steps of my building, waiting for the kitten to come out of hiding. It didn't take long before I saw the kitten slowly come around the steps, leaning forward to sniff towards the bowl.   
"Hey, Baby," I cooed, "you hungry?"  
It stopped moving to look up at me warily for a moment before jumping up to the step the bowl was on. It buried it's face in the bowl, munching and purring happily on the pieces of chicken. I slowly reached down to run my fingers lightly along it's back. The kitten purred louder, sounding like a tiny chainsaw as I continued to pet it. When it was done eating I was able to scoop it up into the towel and bring it into our building.  
"Well," I started as I walked up the stairs, "what am I going to do with you, little one? I guess I can take you to the shelter in the morning."  
I smiled when I looked down at the little ball of fluff glaring up at me.  
"Don't look at me like that, I can't keep you. I can barely take care of myself."   
It meowed quietly and just settled deeper into the towel, like it thought I would be swayed by cuteness.  
"Damnit," I groaned as I got to my apartment, "you're not playing fair, using your looks like that."  
Inside, Olivia, Ally and Elle were all waiting for me and a chorus of 'awww' sounded when they saw the kitten.   
"Oh, My Love, you always wanted cats," Elle cooed.  
I rolled my eyes, "Elle. I can't take care of a pet right now."  
Ally reached out to scratch the top of the kitten's head, "but he's so cute, you have to keep him."  
"I can barely keep myself afloat you guys, I can't have something else relying on me right now. I'll have to take him to a shelter."  
"What about the boy?" Olivia asked, "maybe he would like a pet? Then we can still see him."  
I sighed, "I'll ask. But if he doesn't want a cat, I'm taking it to the shelter, okay?"  
They all nodded and followed me as I walked back into the hallway and to Billy's door. It took a few minutes of me knocking on the door for him to finally answer, still mostly asleep.  
"What the hell?" He grumbled, running a hand through his messy curls, "it's three in the fucking morning, what's the emergency?"  
"I found this outside, I can't keep it and if you don't want it I'll find somewhere else tomorrow but...merry christmas," I rambled, shoving the bundle into his chest.  
Billy quickly grabbed the towel, his eyebrows scrunched as he looked down at it. A tiny meow came from the bundle and he looked back up at me, shocked.  
"What the fuck? A cat? I don't know what to do with a cat!"  
I scoffed, "it's just a cat, not a wild animal."  
He gave me a look before admitting, "I've never had a pet."  
"Like, never? Not even a goldfish?"  
He shook his head, "wasn't allowed."  
I blinked at him a few times and reached out for the kitten, "okay, well...I can take him to a shelter."  
Billy pulled away from me, clutching the purring kitten to his chest, "no. I'll take care of him. Just...tell me what I need to do until I can go to the store."  
\--  
Billy's POV 

After Katrina left me with the kitten, I set up a box with a blanket and the towel it hand been bundled in and placed it next to my bed. I also scattered some paper towel around since I didn't have a litter box before placing the kitten in it's box and climbing back into bed. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and quickly texted Steve.  
Me: come over when you wake up, emergency.  
\--  
Steve called me early in the morning, his voice panicked over the phone, "I'm almost at your apartment, what happened? What's the big emergency?"  
I smirked as I felt the kitten readjust itself on my chest, "I have something I need your help with, you'll see when you get here."  
He burst into my apartment a few minutes later, out of breath from running up the stairs and immediately stopped when he saw me holding the kitten.  
"Is that the emergency?"  
"I've never had a pet before, I need to go to the store."  
Steve huffed and wiped his hand over his face, "that is not an emergency. Why did you get a cat and not anything for it?"  
"I didn't bring it home, Katrina found it and dropped it on me in the middle of the night. And it is an emergency, I don't have anything for him to eat, he's hungry."  
Steve shook his head, a small smile on his face, "fine. Go get dressed and we can go shopping. You owe me breakfast though."  
\--  
Steve and I came back to my apartment with our arms full of things for my new kitten. Food, bowls a collar, treats, a litter box, a giant scratching tree and more toys than one cat could ever need. We struggled to haul everything upstairs and dropped it all in a heap just inside the door.   
"I think you went a little overboard," Steve huffed, staring at the pile.  
The kitten came trotting out from my bedroom and butted it's head against my leg, purring loudly.  
"He deserves it," I argued, reaching down to scratch it's head, "I love him."  
"You've had it for 6 hours."  
"Pudge is my son, if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this building and then myself."  
Steve snorted, "Pudge?"  
"Yeah," I bent down to pick Pudge up, "Pudge."  
"Like, from Lilo and Stitch?"  
"Yeah, exactly."  
\--  
Pudge was immediately obsessed with Steve. Every time Steve came over or I brought Pudge with me to his place, Pudge would try to pull Steve's socks off, growling as ferociously as the tiny fluff ball could. If Steve wasn't wearing socks, Pudge would hunt around Steve's apartment for a sock and carry it around like a trophy. He always hid them under our couches and would growl and hiss if he noticed us trying to take them back. Pudge also loved to sit on Steve's shoulder when he was eating and would try to swipe bites of whatever it was.  
"Billy," Steve complained, "can you call off your hell cat?"  
I smirked and looked down at Pudge, who had claws bared as he pounced on Steve's feet and tried to take his socks. As soon as I picked him up though, he started purring and cuddling me.  
"He's an angel, Steve. I don't know what you're talking about."


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn about Billy's parents and we get Olivia's story

November  
Katrina's POV 

A blizzard. A fucking blizzard that has barricaded everyone inside their homes, that's what I woke up to. A complete white out, not expected to let up for a day or two.   
Olivia twirled around the kitchen, humming her haunting tune while I got a pot of water boiling. Grabbed a bag of tea from the cupboard and tossed it in a mug while I waited. It didn't take long for the kettle to click off, steam pouring from the spout.  
Elle's hands slid over my hips as I poured the water, "what kind?" She whispered.  
"Strawberry hibiscus."  
She hummed, "my favorite."  
I stirred a spoonful of honey in before retreating to the couch and cozying up in blankets.   
I flicked on the TV and started scrolling through my Netflix, "what should we watch?"  
Ally appeared beside me, grinning, "horror marathon?"  
"Is that the only thing you like?"  
A smile stretched across her face, "pretty much."  
I smirked at the younger girl, scrolling through the options until Ally told me to stop and settled in to sip my tea and watch Pet Semetary.  
Part way through the movie, Ally looked at me and whispered, "someone's coming."  
Moments later there was a knock on my door. I cocked an eyebrow at Ally, who shrugged her slim shoulders and turned back to the movie, and got up to answer the door.  
Billy was at the door, rumpled like he had just rolled out of bed, and holding a sleepy Pudge in his arms, "snow day," he mumbled.  
"I heard, do you think Pudge made it happen?"  
He smirked, squeezing the kitten a little, "can you really blame him? He likes when I have the day off."  
I giggled, "so you came to join my horror movie day?"  
"Are you making french toast?" He asked, padding into my apartment.   
I laughed and closed the door, "yeah, we can make french toast."  
\--  
A few hours later we were leaning against each other on the couch, sharing a fuzzy blanket and absently making our way through the Scream series. Pudge was sleeping in my lap, curled into a tiny black ball.  
"Wanna play something?" Billy asked, looking at me with a playful smile.  
"Like what?"  
His arm shifted, falling down around my shoulder, "I have a bottle of vodka in my fridge, we could get drunk and play twenty questions. Learn more about each other?"  
I laughed, "like the kids game?"  
"You got something better to do?"  
\--  
Half the bottle of vodka later, we were lounging on Billy's couch giggling and being silly until Billy broke out a hard hitting question.  
"So, tell me about your family."  
I tensed, took a long swig from the bottle, "what about them?"  
"Well I've known you for almost a year and you've never mentioned your family. Do you have any siblings? What are your parents like?"  
I looked down to pick at my fingernails, "I don't have any family."  
"None?"  
"Nope."  
He studied me for a moment, "why?"  
I huffed, "only child...and my parents never cared much about me until they disowned me."  
Billy's face fell a little, all the fun from before gone, "why?"  
"Cause I like girls. When I brought my ex home after graduation they tossed me out, haven't seen or talked to them since."  
He laid a hand gently on my knee, "assholes."  
I let out a watery laugh, "yeah, they are."  
"And what happened with your ex?"  
"I'm pretty sure it's my turn to ask questions actually."  
"Right, go ahead."  
Well, if learning about each other means tough questions, I can ask them too.  
"What about your family? Are they in Indiana or California?"  
His mouth tightened, "Max and Steve are here."  
"Parents?"  
Billy's jaw tensed a couple times, "dead."  
I felt the heart break and confusion, saw their graves. Both of them, gone, leaving a young boy and his sister alone against the world.   
"I'm sorry...what were they like?"  
"Mom...well, my mom was sick. I remember good days where we would dance and play in the garden...but she got hurt and started to..change? I guess is the right word. She just wasn't herself all the time, she had headaches all the time, started staying in bed a lot. Didn't remember things anymore."  
A shot, a flash of light and a heavy thud. My heart was racing in my chest, trying to jackhammer it's way through my ribcage.  
He continued after a breath, "she died when I was six. I was supposed to be at a friends but I came home sick and found her."  
A pool of blood, confusion, a boy screaming for his mom. I pulled my knee away from his hand, pretending like I was just shifting for comfort. Billy pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.  
"Sorry, that was probably oversharing."  
I gulped, "no, it's...that's horrible, I'm sorry."  
"It was a long time ago," he murmured, "I try to just remember her good days."  
"What about your dad?"  
Billy grabbed the bottle from me and took a swig, "he was a miserable fucking drunk. Liked to slap people around. Died in a car accident, driving drunk, only downside to that was he took Max's mom with him."  
"Which left you to become her guardian."  
"That was a couple years after, had to wait until I was legal. I lived with Steve and Max lived with the police chief, his daughter is Max's best friend."  
I nodded, a small smile on my lips, "I still think that's really sweet of you, to take care of her like that."  
A light blush rose on his cheeks, "thanks."  
I smiled at him, "what was your mom like before she got hurt? Tell me more about her."  
Billy hummed, a wistful smile on his face, "she loved to garden, she would have turned our entire yard into one giant garden if she could have. Her favorite were sunflowers, she had a whole patch of them that we'd hide in. She was always humming, dancing, singing, just always happy...when it was the two of us anyway. She was amazing...I have a picture, hold on," he said, hurrying to his room.  
He came back a moment later, carrying a picture frame and sat back down beside me.   
"That's her," he murmured, passing me the frame.  
In the picture was a young Billy, short curly hair dripping water and a bright smile on his face. He was much smaller than the muscular man I knew now. The sun behind him was starting to set, casting a yellow glow over the beach. Beside him was a woman in a flowy white dress that was blowing with a gentle breeze. Her blonde hair was pulled over her shoulder in a thick braid, a few curls having blown loose. She was crouching down to hug Billy, a brilliant smile on her face. She looked bright, happy, like she was so full of love and pride for her little boy.  
Wait. Is that...no. It can't be.  
"Olivia?"  
Billy looked at me, confused, "yeah...how did you know that?"  
My heart started racing as I put the picture down and stood up.  
"I...I need to..I have to go," I stammered.  
"What? Why? Did you know her?"  
I shook my head as I hurried out the door, stuttering nonsense as I went. I left Billy alone and confused to lock myself in my apartment where I hurried to throw clothes and a jacket on before running to the roof of our building.  
I paced around the roof, trudging through the snow for a while before I called, "Olivia?"  
I had to call her a few times before she appeared, "yes, my girl?"  
Yeah, that was Olivia in the picture. The woman that I'd grown up with, who had been a better mother to me than my own mother.  
"Olivia...you're...dead? How? I don't understand."  
"My sweet girl," she cooed, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, "don't be silly, I'm not dead."  
"No...you are. He told me you died...showed me your picture. You died, a long time ago."  
"I..I'm not, I don't.."  
She looked lost, like she didn't know what I was talking about. I watched her shaky hand come up to feel the back of her head. Her breath hitched with a shocked sob as she felt around and tears started to fall down her cheeks.  
She shook her head, "I...I remember.."  
I chewed at my lip, feeling like my world had been turned upside down as I waited for her.  
"I remember...shouting...and then falling..then I remember being in the hospital and he said I slipped..." Olivia swallowed thickly, her voice cracking, "he said I slipped but..I didn't, I didnt slip. He hit me."  
My heart ached for her and tears started pooling in my eyes as she kept going. She started to get clearer as she spoke, less wispy. She grabbed my hand to share her memories with me as she spoke.  
"Neil was so charming when we met, chiseled face and slicked back hair...a devilish smile, stormy blue eyes, a dimple on one cheek...he was gorgeous. I was working at a little diner at the time, he came in with some other new recruits. They were being deployed a couple weeks later so they were hitting up the town before leaving. Well, as soon as we locked eyes...I was under his spell. We were inseparable, fell hard and fast in love until he left...he looked so handsome in his uniform," she sighed, "we wrote each other all the time while he was gone. He could never tell me where he was but he'd say he was always thinking of me. That the thought of coming home and never letting me out of his sight again was the only thing keeping him going. Soon after, I realized I was pregnant and the both of us were overjoyed, he couldn't wait to have a family. But then Neil stopped writing just before I gave birth...I thought maybe he changed his mind..or had been killed. I thought I was going to be a single mother at nineteen, but I got another letter a couple weeks before he came home. It just said 'I'm on my way' and then he was home, my baby was a few months old by then. He looked so much like me, soft cheeks and blonde curls...had Neil's eyes though."  
I saw him, a chubby cheeked baby boy with fuzzy blonde curls and sharp blue eyes, bubbling happily against my chest.  
"When Neil came home he, he was different...he was so...distant, cold, angry. . He wouldn't tell me why he was dismissed from duty. Turned away when I tried to kiss him, yelled at me over little things, yelled at our baby when he cried. Started drinking a lot and he, he started hitting me...but after he got angry, he'd leave the house and come back hours later all sad and contrite. Shed a few tears, say he loved me, flash that smile and shower me with gifts...flowers and candy, jewelry..or he'd bring home dinner and say I deserve a relaxing night. I stayed for that Neil, I loved him...when he was kind. And for our baby, he needed a father and I tried to keep myself happy for him, to shower him in love but Neil started getting more violent as the years went on, leaving black eyes and split lips. I had to make up stories when I went to town. He tried to go for my boy once and I tried to stop him...he hit me and my head cracked on the counter and then...when I got home, I didn't want to go outside anymore. I was just a shell of myself most days, I couldn't do anything, everything hurt. I got splitting headaches," Olivia looked at me, her eyes glistening as she held her head, "it hurt so bad, it felt like my head was going to pop from the pressure."  
Both of us were weeping now, rivers of tears pouring down our faces.  
She gasped, "my baby...my little boy, I left him there...I just, I couldn't take it anymore...I couldn't find another way out."  
"Olivia.."  
"I found his gun...and I...the pressure stopped, there was no more pain and I found you, my girl. But my boy, my sweet boy..I left him behind...I didn't want to..I just, I didn't think."  
Oh god...Billy's memories...  
"Olivia, your son..."  
"I waited until he was at a friend's. Made sure the house was empty..."  
I shook my head and sniffled, "no, Olivia..he was there, he found you."  
She looked horrified as she wept, "oh, my baby. How could I do that? My poor boy...he must hate me."  
I wiped the tears from my cheeks, "he loves you, even still. He grew up beautiful, Olivia, and he thinks of you all the time."  
"How do you-"  
Billy burst onto the roof, clutching his leather jacket tight to his chest to see me shivering in the snow and talking to the air.  
"Katrina? What the fuck? You're gunna freeze out here!"  
Olivia stared at him, her eyes glistening.  
"My boy..."  
"I see her."


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina freaks out, there's a soft moment at the end

Katrina's POV 

"I can see her," I mumbled.   
"You can what? See who?" Billy tried to approach, hands outstretched to his sides.  
I backed away, folding my arms around myself. I could see the back of Olivia's head as she went forward to inspect her son.  
She reached out, her fingers trailing lightly down his cheek, "my Billy..."  
When the wind blew just right I could see the gore of a bullet wound on the back of her head. The red stark against her blonde hair. I fell to the ground, a scream dying in my throat to turn into heaving sobs.   
"I..I see her, she's here, she's always here. I..I was just little, I didn't know. Oh my god, this doesn't make sense..how? That means...Elle..."  
Billy came forward and knelt in front of me, "hey, easy, Katrina. Breathe."  
A hand reached to grab me.  
"Don't! Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed, curling into myself.  
He raised his hands defensively, leaning back into his heels, "okay, I'll stay back. It's okay, tell me what's going on."  
I looked past him to where Olivia had just been, she had disappeared now, leaving the two of us alone in the blizzard. But if she's, if she's dead and I haven't been hallucinating, then that means...that means that Elle's a ghost too...does that mean the twisted man is some sort of ghost too? Different thoughts were running through my head so fast I could barely keep up.   
"You're freezing," Billy spoke softly, taking his jacket off, "can I put my jacket on you?"  
I jerked my head in a nod, gasping in mouthfuls of frigid air. The warmth of his leather jacket slowly slid over my shoulders and I reached up to pull it tight around me.  
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I-I didn't know, Billy...I'm sorry."  
He sat out there with me in the cold, shivering in his sweater and listening to me ramble. When I started to calm down I unfurled from his jacket and started to take it off to give back.  
"No, it's okay," he offered, "keep it. Tell me what you're feeling."  
I tucked back into his jacket with a huff and buried my face in my hands.  
"Have you ever had a panic attack before?"   
"If that's what that was, yeah...a couple times...sorry."  
He rubbed his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm them up as he shivered, "it's okay, it happens."  
I sniffed, wiping my cheeks with the palm of my hand.  
"You wanna come inside?" He asked, "it's fucking freezing out here."  
I nodded and gently took his hand to help me stand up. He led me back inside and draped an arm around me when I tucked myself against his chest. Back in his apartment he tucked my head under his chin and held me tight to his chest, rubbing my back as we both warmed up.  
"You wanna tell me what caused that?" He murmured.  
"No," I mumbled, slipping away from him and out of his jacket.  
I retreated to my own apartment and locked myself in, ignoring his calls and waiting until I could quietly slip out of the building and take off into the dark streets.   
\-- December  
Billy's POV   
"Billy, maybe she just doesn't want anything to do with you?"  
I huffed, "Steve. Why would she just decide that? Everything was going really well between us until I told her about my mom."  
"Maybe she's getting high," he muttered.  
"Steve."  
He glanced at me from around the corner of the hallway where he was keeping watch, saw me struggling to pick Katrina's door open.  
"Well it's true. She showed up at my place higher than a kite and tried to kiss me and you said she was hallucinating about seeing someone," he met my glare with a roll of his eyes, "you know, we could have just told the landlord we're worried about her, get him to take a look around."  
I laughed when the door clicked open, "don't need him. Max taught me what to do."  
He quickly ran into Katrina's apartment and closed the door behind us.  
"Hello?"  
We split to search Katrina's apartment and returned to her living room when there was no sign of her anywhere.  
"Maybe she's at work?"  
I scoffed, "first of all, she works nights and it's the middle of the afternoon. And I already checked, they haven't seen her for a week."   
"Well...we could make a missing person's report? I don't know what else we can do, Billy, we can't sit around here waiting for her, we have to work."  
"Yeah," I sighed, "I know."  
\--

There was only a couple days until Christmas when I got a call from Steve. I was in the middle of cleaning my apartment so Max could spend the holidays with me and was interrupted by the shrill ringing of my phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Billy! She's here!"   
"What? Who's here?" Max isn't supposed to be here for a few hours, and she shouldn't be showing up at the hospital.  
"Katrina! She's here, just admitted into the ER."  
"I'm on my way."  
\--  
Katrina's POV

Everything was a haze. A haze of needles and smoke, of cold cement and blurring lights. I'm hot and cold, shivering through a layer of sweat.  
I want to go home.  
I found myself on a bus, unsure of where it was headed. Everything was spinning, moving too fast and then...  
Darkness.  
Sirens.  
Flashes of light.  
Voices.  
Darkness.  
I woke up and found myself in a hospital bed. My head was swimming, my body aching and screaming for me to find another high.   
"Bet you feel like shit."  
I looked over to find Steve watching me, his face tight and angry. His arms were folded tight against his chest, his pale skin stark against his blue scrubs.  
"Do you have any idea how worried we were? Do you even care?"  
I groaned, "Steve.."  
"No," he ground out, coming to stand close to me, "you...I don't want to hear it. I called Billy, he's on his way to pick you up after the doctor releases you."  
He didn't wait to listen to me, just spun on his heel and left me there. Sober and alone.   
\--  
"Can I go home?"  
The doctor nodded at me, "yes. You're free to go. The reception area has flyers for counseling and meetings if you need."  
"Great. Thanks," I murmured, zipping up my sweater and walking away.  
I didn't wait for Steve to come back. Didn't wait for Billy to find me. I didn't want to hear their lectures, I just wanted to go home. As I walked away, I pulled the hood of my sweater over my hair and stuffed my hands deep into my pockets. Kept my head down and slipped through the halls until I reached the front door. Then stepped out into the cold and began my trek home.   
\--  
I was lying in bed, sweating and crying as my body was racked with pain. Every nerve felt like it was on fire and even though I hadn't eaten I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up. My mind was screaming for drugs but I had lost my phone and moving was excruciating.  
I was alone for a few hours before I heard voices in my apartment. I groaned, burying my head in my pillows thinking that I was hearing ghosts again.  
"Katrina?"  
Pillows were pulled off my face, revealing Billy and Steve looking down at me.  
"Hey," Billy murmured, "you look like shit."  
I huffed out a laugh, "feel like shit."  
"Yeah, I bet. Steve and I are gunna take care of you, okay?"  
I shook my head, "you don't-"  
"We want to," Steve interrupted, "you're gunna come stay at Billy's with us for the holidays."  
"The holidays?"  
"Yeah, Christmas is in a few days," Billy explained, pulling me to sit up, "come on. Let's go, Max is waiting for us."  
"Max is here? Oh, you guys...I can stay here, I don't want to ruin your Christmas."  
"Absolutely not," Steve argued, "we already decided. We're not leaving you alone."


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, enjoy

Katrina's POV 

Steve and Billy had gone out for some last minute groceries to make Christmas dinner, leaving me alone with Max.  
Max was almost an exact clone of Billy personality wise. Sarcastic, blunt and wicked smart. She was in school for engineering and spent any down time she had skateboarding. Refused to drive unless she had to, preferred to use her board to get around. Lived in Billy's old jackets that she had stolen from him when she got into university. A super soft, worn out leather jacket or a frayed, holey jean jacket, both of which were way too big and covered in colorful pins.   
Physically though, they looked nothing alike. Max also had blue eyes, though hers were soft like a sunny sky rather than Billy's stormy blue. Where Billy had sharp features, Max had a softer, rounded face. Thick red hair hung in messy curls around her face and stopped just below her shoulder.  
Max had a woman following her, a ghost. One who shared the same fire red hair and soft face. Followed close behind her, running her fingers over Max's hair and tutting about tangles that never went away.   
Max also was having none of my bullshit.  
Billy had set me up in his room, letting me hide away as much as I needed while I went through withdrawals and let myself wallow in depression. Him and Steve would regularly come check on me, bringing me food and drinks before rejoining Max in the living room. When they left though, she came storming into his bedroom and ripped the blankets off of me.  
"Get up," she demanded.  
"No thanks," I groaned.  
"Yeah, didn't ask," she countered, "my brother's worried about you and you need to get up and be a real person."  
"Max, you don't get it."  
"Oh, I get it. You ran off on him, started doing heroin and now he's trying to get you better and you're lying here like you've given up."  
I turned to glare at her. Smart ass.   
"I didn't just run off. It's...I can't-"  
"Whatever it is, you'll never forgive yourself unless you get up and get dressed and brush your damn teeth cause your breath stinks."  
She looked at me with a playful smirk and I couldn't help but huff out a laugh as I slowly slid my feet off the bed.  
"Your brother had too much of an influence on you growing up."  
Max shook her head and laughed a little, "my mom used to say that when we were in a bad mood. Always made us snap out of it."  
\--  
"Billy, does Pudge have to be there?" Steve asked.  
Billy smirked, grabbed a piece of turkey from his plate and reached up the his shoulder to feed it to Pudge, "what? He wants Christmas dinner too. Or I could put him down and let him chomp on your toes?"  
Steve glared at him and wiggled in his chair to bring his feet up off the ground. Max and I started laughing wildly when Pudge meowed loudly while looking at Steve. Almost like he was issuing a challenge.  
"Why'd you bring the hell beast upon us, Katrina?"  
I smiled and looked over at Pudge, the now slightly bigger ball of fluff leaning into Billy's face for more food, "in my defense, I didn't know he'd become Billy's attack Cat."  
"Oh, yeah!" Billy exclaimed, "that reminds me. Steve, stand up. You guys gotta watch this."  
Steve groaned but stood up, hunching into himself nervously.  
Billy stood up, pulled Pudge off his shoulder and set him on the ground.  
He pointed at Steve as he said, "Pudge, sick 'em!"  
Pudge arched up and ran at Steve, jumping up to attach himself to Steve's leg with a growl.  
Steve yelped and staggered backwards, "Billy!"  
Max, Billy and I were doubled over laughing, losing our breath more and more as Steve cried for our help.  
It took a few minutes for Steve to remove Pudge from his leg. He ended up having to wave a piece of turkey in front of Pudge's nose until he dropped down to the ground. After taking the piece of turkey from Steve, Pudge trotted off purring to eat his treat.  
"Hell beast," Steve muttered.  
\--  
"Where you going?" Max asked when she saw me slip on my jacket.  
I looked around, making sure the boys weren't paying attention before whispering, "just need some air, I haven't left the apartment in so long. Just, give me five minutes?"  
Her mouth tightened into the slightest frown before she jerked her head towards the door, "five minutes."  
I slipped out the door and ran up to the roof, pulling the pack of cigarettes from my pocket as I went. Crisp winter air hit me as soon as I opened the door, the chill worse with the slight sheen of sweat covering my body. I lit the cigarette and took a long drag, letting the acrid burn fill my chest before exhaling a plume of smoke.  
"Missed you, Katie," Elle's familiar twang rang behind me.  
"Ellie," I breathed, turning to see her warm smile.  
She was wearing a baby pink toque with a stupid giant pom pom on top, just like the one she had in life. The one that I'd had to get rid of with the rest of her stuff.  
"Haven't seen you in a while," I murmured.  
"We can't get through unless you're sober, Katie."  
I hummed, "that explains a lot."  
We stood in silence for a moment before I cleared my throat, "can I ask you something?"  
"Of course, my love."  
"What was it like? You know...dying? Did you know it was coming? Did it hurt? Did you come back right away?"  
She smiled sadly, "it was so fast. I saw something move in my rearview mirror and everything went black. Felt like my chest was on fire for a second before I died. And then I was standing on the road, watching the ambulance arrive. I was right in front of them and they couldn't see me. That's how I knew."  
"So, what now? You're all stuck here? Do you have unfinished business or something?"  
Elle laughed, "no, a lot of us stay just because we want to watch our loved ones or explore. Some get lost here but we can move on if we want to."   
I hummed, nodding slowly as I sucked on my cigarette, "so what's everyone's story? All the people who stick around me?"  
"Well, Olivia found you because she wanted a little girl when she was alive but never got one. She didn't remember dying so you being able to see her made her stick around, she just wanted to be a good mom. Ally...all I know is she slit her wrists, don't know why she likes you so much. She just does. That woman downstairs, the red headed one following Billy's sister around, that's his step mother, Susan. I haven't talked to her much, just know she was in an accident."  
I opened my mouth to reply just as Billy threw open the roof door, "there you are!"  
"Fuck, are my five minutes up already?"  
"Ten actually," he smirked, coming up beside me.  
"Sorry, just...needed some air."  
"I get it, just looking out for you."  
"Thanks...hey, Billy, can I tell you something?"  
He looked at me, his eyebrows scrunched together, "of course, what's going on?"  
"You have to promise not to freak. And I swear, I'm not high."  
He looked more confused, "okay?"  
I sighed and stamped out my cigarette, "Billy, I...I see dead people."


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan tells her story

Katrina's POV 

"I see dead people."  
Billy's eyes narrowed, "excuse me?"  
I bit my lip and lowered my eyes to the ground, "I can...see ghosts...and memories."  
"You were gone for ten fucking minutes and you were able to get your hands on drugs? Are you serious?"  
"She shot herself, right?"   
Billy stopped and stared at me as I continued, "your dad tried to hit you but she put herself between you, cracked her head on the counter when she fell."  
"How...I didn't..."  
"She was in so much pain, Billy. She was just a shell of herself most of the time so she made sure she would be alone and she found your dad's gun."  
I could see the hurt and confusion on his face and the way his chest heaved with heavy breaths. Behind his shoulder stood Olivia, hair loose around her shoulders and swaying gently with the slight breeze.   
She nodded when I met her gaze, "go on."  
"She put that gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. But she wasn't alone. You heard everything, saw everything."  
Billy's jaw clenched, "who told you all that? Max? Steve?"  
"Olivia did. And when you were telling me about her, I could see bits of your memories."  
He shook his head, "that's impossible."  
"That's why I freaked out when I saw the picture. I grew up being told I was crazy, that the people I saw were hallucinations. When you showed me the picture, I knew they were real, all of them."  
"I don't...that is crazy, you know that, right? Someone had to have told you about her, that's how you know all this."  
"I know it sounds crazy but I swear, I swear it's true."  
"This is insane," he mumbled, "why can you see her but I can't?"  
"I don't know, Billy. I was just born like this."  
"Who else?"  
"What?"  
He crossed his arms, "Who else do you see? I need more proof."  
"There's a girl, Ally, she likes horror movies. She keeps to herself mostly, just know she killed herself. Susan has been following Max around, can't handle how tangled Max's hair gets. And...Elle is the one I was always fighting with...my fiance."  
Billy smiled wistfully at the mention of his stepmom, "Susan used to have to bribe Max to brush her hair. Wait...your fiance? I thought you ran away from her? That you were in an abusive relationship or something."  
"No, she died and I was running from that. I thought if I left then I could leave the pain behind too but she came with me. She was amazing though," tears burned my eyes as I talked about her, "we were planning our wedding when she died."  
He was quiet for a moment, letting everything sink in, "come back downstairs, everyone's gunna have a lot of questions."  
\--  
"Wait...you believe this?" Max looked at her brother with a scowl.  
"She knows things. Things that she wouldn't know unless she was telling the truth."  
Max turned to me, "how did my mom meet Neil?"   
"Max," Billy murmured, "we already know."  
"Yeah, we do. But she shouldn't! None of us talk about them to anyone."  
I looked across the kitchen at Susan, who was standing against the counter with Olivia at her side. Two women who couldn't be more opposite but connected by the same man.  
Olivia laid a comforting hand on Susan's arm with a smile.  
I listened to Susan's story and repeated it for everyone to hear.  
"I met Billy first. He was seven, Max was only two. I took her to the park one day and this little boy with wild blonde curls came barreling up to us. Talked my ear off and let her hold his hand to keep her steady while she walked around. Talked a lot about surfing," she smiled, laughing a little, "I loved him right away. Then Neil came to collect Billy. He was gorgeous. Tall, dark and handsome. Very forward. Asked me if Max's dad was around, told me Billy's mom had died. We started dating right away, married within the year."  
Billy's cheek had turned pink hearing about himself as a child but his jaw tensed as soon as Neil was mentioned.  
Max had tears in her eyes when she looked up from her hands, "that's exactly how mom used to tell us the story. Why...how?"  
Steve exhaled hard and I saw him shiver when Susan crossed behind him to stand between Billy and Max.  
"Wait," I mumbled, "Steve. Come here, I have an idea."  
His eyebrows scrunched but he stood up to come closer to me, "what?"  
"Remember the sleep paralysis? I was touching you when that happened and you just shivered when Susan walked by you. Maybe, if I touch you, you'll see I'm telling the truth."  
I grabbed his arm and watched his face drop in disbelief.  
"No fucking way," he murmured, rubbing his eyes with his other hand, "she's telling the truth. They're here."  
Billy reached out and grabbed my arm, frowning when he couldn't see anything, "why doesn't that work for me?"  
"Steve's special," Olivia cooed, "sensitive. That's why he can feel us."  
Steve smirked, "your mom says I'm special."  
"Special's one word for it," Billy grumbled.  
Max ignored them and stared hard at me, "what happened the night she died?"  
"Max," Billy warned, "don't."  
"Don't what, Billy? Nobody told me anything other than Neil crashed the car."  
"Cause it's my fault, Max!" He blurted out, "they were supposed to go out and he told me to stay home and watch you. But I didn't want to and we started fighting before they left. It's my fault he started drinking and crashed the car."  
Susan shook her head, "no, hon, it's mine and Neil's fault," she looked to me, pleading, "please, tell him it's not his fault."  
I started repeating what she was saying again.  
"Neil was so hard on him. Made him believe everything was his fault, beat him for it too. I didn't know until after we got married, he hid it from me. When I finally found out, I tried to take us all away from Neil but I didn't have any money. He kept it all and only gave me enough for groceries. I started buying cheaper versions of some things to scrape together some money but I was too slow. That night Neil was taking me out as an apology for yelling at me the night before. I told Neil that Billy had plans with friends, that we could find a different babysitter, but he wouldn't have it. Neil went on a rampage, screaming at Billy until I told him I was going out with or without him. At the restaurant he started drinking and just kept slamming them back, never stopped until the cheque came. I never should have let him drive...but he slapped me, right there in the parking lot. And I was so tired...tired of fighting so I just gave in. Let him take the wheel...it was my fault. I'm sorry, I should have done better. I should have stepped up sooner."  
I looked over at Billy, saw his jaw clenching before he turned and stormed out of the apartment. A teary eyed Max ran after him, leaving Steve and I alone in Billy's apartment with Olivia and Susan.  
"Maybe I should have kept this a secret," I murmured.  
Steve wrapped his arm around my shoulder to give me a light squeeze, "it's just...a lot. They'll come around, just give them some time."


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina, Billy and Steve go on a trip and meet some new people

February  
Katrina's POV 

Billy pulled the Camaro up to our rental place and let it idle as we sat there, staring at the old house. A small, gothic style house that sat sandwiched in a street of similar places.  
"Is this it?" Steve asked from the back seat.  
"Yep, purple door. Just like the site said."  
Billy cut the engine and we all stepped out into the streets of Salem.   
It's been a couple months since telling everyone that I can see ghosts and they've taken it surprisingly well. Steve can't get enough of it, he always wants to be touching me so he can talk to them too which made Billy jealous. He wanted to talk to them so badly. That and the fact that we'd had more than one instance of an unwanted guest during sex was what brought us here. To try to find someone to help me control my power. And in Steve's words 'worst case, we get a cool vacation.'  
We took a while to settle into our rental before setting out into the town. We ducked into every shop we passed, searching for someone to help me. Unfortunately, nobody was able to. Nobody dealt that intimately with the dead. We met a few mediums, whose advice was to try meditation. Imagining a protective barrier around myself to keep the spirits at bay. But that wasn't good enough for me.   
We stopped by a little apothecary for Steve to look around while Billy and I went across the street to a coffee shop to wait for him. We ended up sitting at a table for much longer than we expected when Steve came running into the shop.  
"Guys! I met someone!"  
I perked up and looked at him, "you did?"  
"Her name's Riley, she works at the apothecary. She makes a lot of the stuff in there, soaps and stuff, and everything in there smells so good! I could spend all day in there," he rambled.  
"Steve," Billy interrupted.  
"Oh! And hair products too," he held up a paper bag, "she helped me pick out a bunch of stuff."  
"Steve."  
He shook his head, snapping out of his rambles, "yeah?"  
"Is she able to help me?"  
"Oh, I don't know. But we're going out for dinner tonight, I can ask her then."  
"We lost him," I groaned, playfully knocking my head against Billy's shoulder.  
"No, no, I promise! I won't forget."  
\--  
Billy and I were curled up on the couch watching Evil Dead when we heard Steve come back from his date.  
"In here!" I called, "movie night!"  
Steve poked his head into the door a moment later, "oh good, you're decent. I want to introduce you guys to someone."  
I cocked an eyebrow at him and sat up. He walked the rest of the way into the living room, leading a girl by the hand. She had long, wavy brown hair and a sweet face, was wearing a black tank top and tight blue jeans.  
"Guys, this is Riley. Riley, this is Katrina and Billy."  
Riley lifted a hand and waved a little, her cheeks a little pink, "nice to meet you."  
"You too," I replied.  
Billy nodded at her and smirked a little at Steve, who also started to blush.  
"A-anyway..we're going upstairs, night guys!" He stammered before they fled upstairs.  
I looked back at Billy, who had the biggest grin on his face and was biting back a laugh, "do you think he remembered to ask her?"  
His composure slipped and he barked out a laugh as he pulled me to lean back against him, "I think that's the last thing on his mind right now."  
I laughed a little, "Billy! They just met, he's more of a gentleman than that! We came here looking for someone though so he better ask."  
"I'll bet you twenty bucks he is not that much of a gentleman and he totally forgets."  
I smirked, "you're on."  
\--  
Billy and I padded downstairs in the morning, following the sound of voices and found Steve and Riley sitting at the kitchen table. Half full mugs of coffee sat between them with their hands wrapped around them, fingers just barely brushing against each other.   
Billy tapped his fingers against my back, a smug smirk on his face when I looked back at him.  
"Morning you two," I smiled when they jolted to look up at us.  
"Morning," they answered.  
"So, I see you spent the night," Billy smirked.  
Steve glared at him from across the table, his cheeks turning bright red.  
"I hope you don't mind, Steve and I saw there was a Scream marathon on TV and we stayed up all night watching it."  
"Don't mind at all," I answered, pouring myself a cup of coffee.  
There was a moment of silence before Riley downed the last of her drink and stood up, "anyway, I should be going. Have to go home and get ready for work. It really was nice to meet you."  
Steve stood and followed her to the door, returning a minute later with a huge smile on his face.   
He stopped when he saw mine and Billy's smirks, "what?"  
Billy reached forward and clapped him on the shoulder, "nice one, buddy! Finally got a girl in bed, I was starting to think after Nancy-"  
"Oh my god!" Steve interrupted, "first of all, you know I've slept with people since her and second, we didn't sleep together. Not that it's any of your business."  
I elbowed Billy's side and laughed, "pay up, loser!"  
Billy groaned, tipping his head back, "Steve...you disappoint me."  
"Wait, you guys bet on me getting laid? Rude!"  
"Doesn't matter," I smirked, "is she able to help me?"  
"I don't think I should tell you now," he pouted.  
Billy snorted, "he forgot."  
"I did not, actually. She thinks her and her sisters can help, she's gunna text me a time to meet them."  
\--  
We met Riley and her sisters the next evening at the coffee shop across from the apothecary Riley worked at. Audrey, Brook and Riley. Triplets.  
Riley was the youngest. She described herself as a green witch, using what she grows to create products for the apothecary and specializing in love and protection charms.  
Brooke was the middle child. She had grey hair cropped above her shoulders and wore a ton of jewelry. Bracelets and rings adorned her hands, clicking and jangling when she moved. She worked at one of the psychic shops doing all sorts of readings. Tarot, runes, tea leaves, palms, you name it, Brook can read it.   
Audrey was the oldest and had bright red hair shaved on one side and a lot of tattoos. She was a tattoo artist by day but her specialty was talking to spirits. A different type of medium, could summon all sorts of spirits to talk to.  
Together, they wanted to try to help me.  
"Alright, the plan is set!" Riley piped up, "we'll work with Katrina in the evenings and you guys use the rest of your time as vacation. Now, I promised to show Steve around and get some ice cream. So, we'll see you later," she explained as she got up and lead Steve out of the coffee shop.  
\-- Thursday Night  
"I found something interesting last night."  
I looked past the stack of books covering their kitchen table at Brook and cocked an eyebrow at her, "how interesting?"  
"Very. I found a spell that could let ghosts into you. Rather than you having to repeat what they say, they could say it themselves."  
I hummed, thinking about Billy, how jealous he was that he couldn't talk to Olivia directly. How quiet him and Max got if Susan or Olivia were talking to me. How they barely hid their anger behind clenched jaws when Steve would grab me so he could talk to whoever was around.  
"I want to try it."  
"It could be dangerous," Audrey warned.  
"How dangerous?"  
"Like, something bad could come through. Take over your body and not give it back."  
"Oh," I mumbled.  
"Just something to think about," Brook explained, "but we think you're powerful enough to try and with the three of us doing the spell, the chances are low."  
"But still there," Audrey added, her eyes steely as she stared at me.  
"I want to do it."  
\-- Friday Night  
We'd left our rental this morning to spend the weekend at Audrey, Brook and Riley's house. Safer that way, they said, easier to make sure nothing goes wrong. I hadn't told the boys about our plan to try this spell, I just told them the triplets wanted us to stay with them.   
So when they found out our plan for tonight, they weren't exactly on board.  
"You want to what?" Billy asked.  
"It's a spell, I'd be like a human ouija board. They'd be able to talk through me. Susan and Olivia could talk through me. You could actually talk to them."  
He pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan, "and if something goes wrong?"  
"The chance of anything bad happening is low," Brook explained.  
"We're not going to throw her to the wolves," Audrey chided, "Riley and Brook have set up every kind of protection we can think of and Brook and I have the Latin down perfectly."  
"No," Steve piped up, "no way. I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here. Do not say anything in Latin. Haven't any of you seen a horror movie? Latin is always bad."  
Riley laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Steve, it's just a language. Audrey and Brook know the language, they know what they're doing. Everything will be fine."  
He clenched his jaw shut and looked back at me, one final attempt to stop this.   
I looked from him to Billy, who was equally tense, "Billy, I want to do this. Everything's gunna be fine."


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina goes through with the spell

Billy's POV 

We were in a dark room in the triplet's basement, a large circle of crystals, flowers and herbs to one side with Katrina in the middle of it. Stacks of candles cast a flickering orange glow through the through the room. It was almost romantic.  
Except Katrina was standing frozen in the circle, arms hanging limply by her sides when she had been talking just moments before. Audrey held her hands up, motioning for us all to stay quiet while we waited. After too many tense seconds, Katrina's eyes fluttered open again and a bright smile crossed her face.  
"Are you Olivia?" Audrey asked, lowering her arms a little.  
She turned to look at Audrey, the voice that came out was a mix of Katrina's and one a little wispier, "yes, my dear."  
My knees buckled when I tried to step closer and I stumbled into the circle to be caught by Katrina.  
"Careful," she murmured, her hands sliding up and down my arms gently.  
I gulped, my mouth suddenly going dry.  
"Come on," Audrey whispered to the others, "let's give them some time."  
She ushered Steve and her sisters out of the room, giving me a small smile and a nod when she passed me and then I was alone with her.   
My mom.  
She looked a little confused when she cupped my face in her hand, "so handsome," she whispered, gently stroking my cheek, "just like my baby would have been."  
I choked, feeling a punch to my gut, heart breaking all over again, "Don't you remember?"  
Her eyebrows scrunched together for a moment when she closed her eyes and gave her head a little shake. When she opened her eyes again they were glassy with tears.  
"Oh, baby. My Billy," she murmured, her voice hitching a little, "you're all grown up."  
My face crumpled a little, tears spilling down my cheeks, "m-mom.."  
"Sweet boy," she soothed, pulling me down and wrapping her arms around me, "it's okay baby, I'm here."  
I buried my face in her shoulder, my hands twisting tight in her shirt as I sobbed and choked out, "momma.."  
A soft hand ran through my hair as she shushed me. She held onto me, quietly soothing me as I let out twenty years of hurt and heart ache.  
"I-I'm sorry," I choked, "I'm so sorry, mom."  
"Oh sweetheart, don't apologize. It wasn't your fault, not once. You were perfect."   
"I...I wasn't...I'm not.."  
She pulled my face out of her shoulder to look at me, "you were, baby, you are."  
I looked down, "I'm not...I hurt people, mom...I was so angry. I hated everyone...I hated you for leaving me. Leaving me with him."  
Her thumb stroked my cheek, a sad smile on her face, "I know, baby. And that's okay, it's okay to be angry with me. I shouldn't have left you with him, I understand."  
"But, I don't hate you, I don't. I just missed you so much and he got so, so much worse after you...and...I'm scared, mom."  
"Scared of what, baby?"  
"Of him. Of filling up with hate and anger and ending up just like him. That he's in me and I can't escape it."   
She hummed, "that'll never happen, you know why?"  
"Why?" I sniffed.  
"You're too much like me," she smiled, "your heart is good, you won't let yourself be like him."  
I smiled at her, feeling warmth spread through my chest.  
"I love you, mom," I murmured.  
"I love you too, baby," she cooed, pulling me forward to press a gentle kiss to my forehead before collapsing in my arms.  
I rushed to catch her, slowly lowering her to the ground, "oh fuck, hey! Mom? Katrina?"  
Nothing. No noise, no movement, she was completely limp like a doll.  
"Help!" I yelled, "guys!"  
They came running back into the room, led by Audrey asking, "what, what happened?"  
"She just collapsed!"  
"Get out of the circle, Billy, now."  
I scrambled out of the circle, kneeling next to it to look at my girlfriend sprawled out on the floor. She had started to twitch, her eyes moving rapidly behind her eyelids and her breathing quick and shallow.  
"Katrina?"  
Steve swallowed thickly, "what's going on?"  
Audrey shook her head, "I-I don't know."  
Riley stared at Katrina's collapsed frame, mouth agape as she held Brooke's hand tightly.  
"Something went wrong," Brooke murmured.  
"Fucking obviously!" I shouted.  
"Hey!" Audrey shouted back, "we warned you something could happen!"  
She glared back at me, daring me to challenge her again.  
I growled, returning my focus to Katrina, "Babe? Hey, you with us?"  
Her eyebrows twitched, knitting together as a groan left her lips. I inched closer to her, stretching my hand into the circle to cup her face and swipe my thumb across her cheek.  
"Katrina?" I leaned in close to her, "Katrina?"  
"Yesss," she hissed out, her voice coming out broken, wrong.  
I glanced back at Steve and the girls, horror plain on their faces and turned back to see Katrina opening her eyes.  
"Katrina?"   
"Guess again."  
I scrambled back, putting some distance between us as she slowly sat up, her head cocked to the side.  
Audrey was the first to step forward, her face steely and fierce as she put herself between Katrina and her sisters.   
"Who are you?"  
Katrina's head jerked to look at Audrey and I saw the muscle jump in Audrey's jaw. Suddenly Katrina was up and throwing herself forward only to hit the edge of the circle and be thrown back to the floor, groaning. Steve and I immediately moved towards her only to be stopped by Brooke and Riley.   
"You boys should leave," Brooke murmured, her small hand firm on my shoulder.   
Steve made a noise in protest but was silenced by Riley.  
"She's right. Go get some rest, we'll sort this out."  
I hesitated but one look at Audrey's face and the barely hidden fear in her eyes had me grabbing Steve and retreating back upstairs.  
\--   
It was hours later when Audrey, Brooke and Riley made their way upstairs. Steve and I were sitting at the island in the kitchen, cups of now cold, untouched tea sitting in front of us. Riley crossed the kitchen hurriedly to find comfort in Steve's arms. He tucked her under his chin, slid his hand up and down her back and looked over at Brooke and Audrey with an eyebrow raised.   
"Where is she?" I asked.  
Brooke sagged against the counter, "downstairs. We think she'll be okay in the morning."  
"You think?"  
Audrey pinched the bridge of her nose and huffed, "yes. We think."  
"What happened?" Steve asked.  
"Something bad came through when she was channeling your mother. We think we chased it out but we don't know for sure yet."  
I stared at her incredulously, "so she's possessed?"  
Brooke waved her hand, "maybe."  
"And what do we do if she is?" Steve murmured.  
Riley sighed, "we don't know."  
I cocked an eyebrow at Audrey before she started to explain, "we tried everything that we know. If the spirit isn't gone we'll have to ask around for help."  
"Seriously?" I groaned, "how fucking long will that take?"  
Audrey glared at me, looking like she was ready to throw punches, "it could take a while. Not many of us deal with possession."  
I nodded, sighing heavily as I leaned on the counter, "so we wait until the morning?"  
Audrey hummed in affirmation, "we try to get some sleep and see what happens tomorrow."  
Steve stood up, picking Riley up as he did so she was tucked against his chest, said a quick goodnight and carried her out of the kitchen. Audrey and I shared a look as they disappeared.  
"They got close pretty quick."  
She shook her head, "just a crush. When you leave she'll forget about him."  
"Maybe," I murmured before I also made my way upstairs to the room that Katrina and I had been sharing.   
I shucked off my clothes and climbed into the bed, pulling Katrina's pillow close to me. I could smell the sweet notes of her shampoo in the fabric and buried my face in it for a restless night of sleep.  
\--  
I came down to the kitchen in the morning to see Steve sitting at the kitchen table with Riley perched on his knee. They were both nursing steaming cups of coffee and gently talking to each other. I cleared my throat, making Riley jump and Steve look up at me.  
"Morning," I smirked.  
"Morning."  
"Audrey awake yet?"   
Riley sipped her coffee before answering, "I think so, she hasn't come down yet though. Brooke's awake, just got out of the shower. Oh," she added, pointing at a plate of scones, "I made breakfast."  
"When did you have time to do that?"  
"I couldn't sleep much," she explained, "got up early and started baking."  
I nodded, crossing the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee and grab one of the chocolatey pastries. Everything about this felt weird, mundane, like Katrina wasn't locked in the basement against her will.   
I was about to take my first sip of coffee when Audrey and Brooke made their way downstairs. Audrey had piled her hair on top of her head in a messy bun and had dark bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept at all last night. She took one look at the near empty coffee pot and groaned.   
I lowered my cup from my lips and stretched my arm out towards her, "peace offering? I can wait for a new pot."  
She cocked an eyebrow at me but took the cup, stirred in more sugar and sipped, "maybe you're not such an asshole after all."  
\--  
"Hello? Billy? Steve?" Katrina's small voice broke the silence when we opened the basement door, "anyone?"  
"Katrina?" I answered, none of us moving from the door yet, "are you okay?"  
She let out a watery laugh, "aside from being locked in a fucking basement."  
Audrey slowly led us down into the basement and to the door of Katrina's room, "do you remember last night, Katrina?"  
"Yeah, well...I remember letting Olivia in and then waking up here, alone."  
I stepped forward to grab the door handle only to have Audrey grab my wrist. She looked over to meet my gaze, her face set and clenched.  
"Audrey," I started.  
"What if she's not her?" She argued.  
"We won't know until we know," Brooke spoke softly, trying to reason with Audrey, "but we can't keep her locked up."  
We were all quiet for a moment, waiting for Audrey to move.   
"Please," Katrina's voice hitched, like she was about to break, "please don't leave me here."  
Audrey huffed and removed her hand from my arm, "fine. But someone needs to be with her at all times until we know."  
I nodded and unlocked the door to push it open, revealing Katrina sitting on a bed that looked unslept in. She looked up at us, her face swollen and splotchy from crying and unfolded herself to run into my arms, choking on a sob as she buried her face in my chest. I looked around at everyone as I held her and squeezed tightly when Audrey mouthed 'at all times' at me.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a nice, fluffy Steve chapter

Steve's POV

"Oh, hey! Do you guys mind if we pop in here for a minute?" I asked, pointing at a little apothecary.  
Katrina glanced around, noticing a coffee shop across the street, "yeah, sure, we'll go get some coffee."  
They took off across the street as I ducked into the little shop. Plants filled the deep windowsills, except for a little spot cleared for a plush, purple pillow. All around the shop were white shelves filled with all sorts of soaps, lotions and little bags filled with flowers and herbs. I could have spent all day just soaking in all the different smells.   
I was holding a bag to my nose, inhaling deeply when I heard a voice.  
"Love charm, smells good, doesn't it?"  
I whirled around to see a girl who had just come out of the back of the store. Long brown hair hung in waves down her bare shoulders when she leaned on the counter.   
She stared at me, waiting, "hello?"  
"Oh, I, ah..yes, smells...pretty."  
She smiled, "you trying to attract someone?"  
"What?"  
"The charm. You looking for something to attract love?"  
"N-no," I stammered, putting the bag back on the shelf, "I just...like all the smells."  
"Follow me," she said, leading me to a different shelf.  
She pulled out a bar of soap and handed it to me, "smell this. I just got the recipe right."  
I held it up to my nose, inhaling deeply. A warm scent filled my nose, deep woodsy musk and sharp spices. I hummed, my eyes closing.  
"Good, huh?" She giggled, "it's one of my new favorites."  
"This smells amazing, you made this?"  
"Yeah, I run this place with a couple friends. I make most of the soaps and charms."  
"Wow, that's...amazing. What is this one?"  
"Cedar, clove and cinnamon for prosperity, protection and love."  
I looked up at her, "but...I'm not.."  
She smirked, "who doesn't need a little love in their life? And even if you don't need it, it still smells great, right?"  
"Yeah," I murmured, "it does...my name's Steve, by the way."  
"Riley," she answered, extending a hand to me.  
Her hand was so small and delicate in mine, soft like rose petals. Our hands lingered for a moment, neither wanting to let go.  
"Hey, uh...are you, would you like to get coffee or something later?"  
Her cheeks flushed a light pink, "yeah, yeah I would."  
\--  
"Steve?"  
I hummed, glancing up from Riley's cup, away from the stick that seemed to spin around the cup for too long on its own.   
"I said, what brings you to Salem?"  
"Oh, my friend Katrina. She's looking for someone to help her."  
"With?"  
"Ghosts."  
"Oh? Is she haunted or is she a medium?"  
"A medium, I guess? She sees them, talks to them. She's trying to find someone to help her control it."  
She was quiet for a moment, thinking to herself, "I might be able to help, I'll have to ask."  
"That would be great, she'd really appreciate it."  
\--  
"Oh! A Scream marathon!"  
I looked over at Riley, who was smiling from ear to ear, "you're a horror fan?"  
"They're my favorite!" She wiggled her eyebrows at me, "are you a scaredy cat, Steve?"  
I could feel my cheeks heat up when she giggled, "don't worry, Riley's here to protect you."  
\--  
We'd been here for a little over a week now and I'd spent every moment possible with Riley. Slowly getting closer and closer until.  
"Steve," she murmured.   
I pulled away from her, just a little and opened my eyes.  
"I think we should talk."   
My heart sunk to my knees when she leaned away from me, "oh, okay."  
I was preparing myself for the heartbreak of 'I think you're a nice guy but...I just don't like you like that.'  
But what I wasn't expecting was, "I really like you...but I don't know if I want anything physical. I, we...I just don't know if I want to be in a long distance relationship y'know?"  
I let out a relieved sigh, "I thought you were about to tell me I had misunderstood, that you didn't like me. We don't have to start anything if you don't want to, I can deal with us just being friends if that's what you want."  
She smiled and leaned into my shoulder, "thanks, Steve."   
\--  
"Dude, you gotta fight for her! Prove you're worth the distance!"  
I rolled my eyes, "Billy, I can't force her into a relationship."   
He grabbed my shoulders, "we leave in two hours, Steve. You make it sound like she's the love of your life and you're willing to just give up on that?"  
I shrugged, "if that's what she wants."  
"Screw that. What do you want?"  
I knocked his arms away, "it doesn't matter."  
"It does matter, what do you want?"  
I felt my eyes starting to sting and looked away from him, clenching my jaw.  
"Steve!" He yelled, "what do you want?"  
I glanced back at him, my eyes watering, "I want her to choose me...I want to try."  
His expression softened and he smiled at me. Smug bastard.   
"Then go tell her. Tell her that's what you want, that you're willing to go the distance. That you care about her."  
But, I didn't. Couldn't muster up the courage to lay myself bare before her.  
\--  
We were just finishing packing up the Camaro, shuffling around our bags in the truck to make them fit. Katrina and Billy moved out of the way so I could close the trunk and there, standing in the door of the house staring at me, was Riley. I gave her a tight smile and moved around the car but was stopped by her yelling.  
"Wait! Steve, wait!"  
I looked up just in time to see her running at me, dark hair streaming behind her before she jumped into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her waist and felt her legs tighten on my hips, holding herself up. Her hands were warm on the side of my face, her lips soft against mine. She broke away after a moment, moving just far enough to tip our foreheads together.  
"I couldn't just let you leave," she murmured, "if you still want to try, I do too."   
"Yeah," I murmured, a slow smile stretching across my face, "yes. I want to give us a shot."  
I could see Billy's smug grin from the other side of the car. He must have said something to her, the bastard.   
\-- March  
"Hey, it's okay, Riley. I understand. We'll see each other next weekend though?"  
"Of course," she replied, voice soft and sleepy, "we'll have a movie marathon?"  
"Anything you want, I'll load up on snacks just for you."  
She hummed, "ice cream too?"  
I smirked, laughing softly, "super fudge chunk?"  
"You listen so well."  
I smiled, "night, Riley."  
"Night, Steve."  
I hung up and walked out into Billy's living room, still smiling. He was sitting on the couch, fiddling with the Xbox controller in his hands.  
"Took you long enough," he teased, "thought this was boy's night."  
"Sorry, Riley was just letting me know she can't come this weekend. Family stuff."  
"Well, you can hang with Katrina and I. She's been a little spacey so we're just staying in."  
I flopped down beside him, "she okay? Do you think it's cause of what happened?"  
He shrugged, "she says she's fine, thinks it's just stress."  
\--   
I could barely contain myself as the minutes ticked down to when Riley was supposed to be here. I had taken forever to set everything up. Snacks covered my kitchen counter, dinner was waiting on the stove, ice cream was in the freezer. I'd even built a blanket fort in my living room, though I was starting to second guess that decision. Whenever I'd done things like this for Nancy, she always said it was too much. Too childish.   
I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. There was no backing out now.  
I swung the door open to see Riley, a duffel bag over one shoulder and a big smile on her face.  
She dropped her bag inside the door to wrap her arms around my neck and give me a soft kiss before murmuring, "it smells amazing in here."  
I stepped backwards, leading her into my apartment and closed the door behind her, "I made breakfast."  
She hummed, "breakfast for dinner? I love it."  
She broke away from me and stopped, staring at the living room, "oh my god."  
"It's too much isn't it? I'm sorry, I can take it down."  
She shook her head and turned to smile at me, "no, it's perfect."  
I kissed her again before going to the kitchen to start dishing up our food.   
Riley padded up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist, "so, what did you make us?"  
"French toast, I used Katrina's recipe, Billy swears it's the best thing he's ever had, scrambled eggs and sausages. I hope that's okay. I have snacks and ice cream too."  
"Steve," she soothed, running her hands up and down my chest, "everything is perfect. Relax."  
I let my shoulders drop, let out a long breath and held a plate out to the side for her, "what movies did you bring?"  
She let go of me to grab the plate, "I figured I'd start you out with a funny movie so I brought 21 Jump Street to watch first. Then I have Texas Chainsaw Massacre."  
I smirked, "isn't that a little backwards? Don't you leave the funny movie for after the horror?"  
She shook her head, "if I did that, you wouldn't need me to comfort you."  
\-- April  
"Thanks for coming to get me," Katrina murmured, wincing when the seat belt of my car put pressure on her bandages.  
"Yeah, no problem."  
We were quiet as I started to drive towards Katrina and Billy's apartment building. We were about halfway there when I cleared my throat.   
"Why didn't you call Billy?"  
"I didn't want to give him another reason to worry about me."   
"He's worried anyway, he called me saying you were hurt and disappeared. Maybe I should call Riley, get her to talk to Audrey.."  
"No!" She turned to me, "no, don't do that. I'm fine, I promise. It's just stress or anxiety or something."  
I glanced over at her and huffed, "okay.."  
\-- May  
"Bye, Audrey! Bye, Brooke!" I called from the the front door of their house.  
I could hear them call back as I backed away from the door, Riley trailing behind me. She followed me to my car and leaned into my chest after I'd thrown my bag in the backseat.  
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head, "it's just a few weeks, it'll go by fast, you'll see."  
She sighed, "I know, it just sucks."  
I ran my hand up and down her back, "I know, but Billy said Katrina needs to get away from the city for a bit and we planned for the three of us to go."  
She looked up at me, "call me though?"  
"Of course. I'll call you so much you'll be sick of me."  
She smiled, "love you, Steve."  
I leaned down to kiss her gently, "love you, Riley."  
I made a mental note as I drove away to get something delivered to her house every weekend we were apart, just to make her smile.


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina starts to slip

Katrina's POV

Billy and Steve had been glued to me since we got back from Salem, barely giving me a chance to breathe on my own. But I'd finally convinced them that I was fine, that they didn't need to watch me all the time. That I was only a wall away from Billy if something happened.  
I padded through my apartment, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I entered the bathroom. Turned on the shower, sloughed off my clothes and inspected myself in the mirror. Took in the rough look of makeup that had started to wear off and smear and let out a tired huff before sliding into the steamy spray. Soaped up and let the hot water ease sore muscles until it started to cool. Stepped out and wrapped up in a fluffy towel to wander into the kitchen. I set a kettle of water on the stove and a mug with a tea bag on the counter before going back to the bathroom. Hung my towel on the hook and massaged sweet smelling lotion into my skin, taking my time to relax and enjoy this time by myself.   
I pulled my pajama top over my head and caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye. Turned to see a glimpse of the twisted man from my nightmares. Just a brief second of his mutilated, bloody face before the kettle started to screech, making me jump and look away. When I looked back at my reflection, it was just me looking back, completely normal.   
\--   
I was curled up in bed, on the brink of falling asleep when I heard it. A loud gurgling, choking sound. I jumped up out of bed, fumbling for my phone on the bedside table. Used one hand to pound on the wall that separated mine and Billy's rooms as my phone rang.  
"Jesus, what?" Billy's voice was gruff, just this side of angry.  
"Are you okay? I heard choking."  
"Wasn't me, I was sleeping."  
"Sorry, I just thought I'd check in. Night, Billy."  
He hung up with a huff and I settled back onto my bed for a minute before I heard it again.  
A wet, choking, "weak.."  
\-- March  
"Babe, what are you doing?"  
I shook my head and looked over at Billy who was staring at me with one eyebrow cooked, "what?"  
"You just stopped and stood there in the mirror for a few minutes, you okay?"  
I smiled at him, "yeah, I'm fine...I just zoned out. Come on, let's go get something to eat."   
\--  
"Katrina?"   
I hummed, turning around to see Billy and yelped when I realized we were on the roof. The last I remember, we were on the couch in Billy's apartment, curled up with Pudge and watching a movie.  
"What? When did we come up here?"  
"You just got up and left. You weren't answering me so I followed you up here. Are you sure you're okay? This has been happening a lot."  
"Y-yeah, I'm okay. Just, stressed I think."  
The corner of his mouth turned down, "right, well...let's go back inside, okay?"  
\-- April  
"Hey! Katrina! Answer me!" Billy yelled, pounding on the bathroom door.  
Everything felt heavy, and fuzzy like I was sinking underwater. I had to fight my way up through the fog and let out a shriek when my head cleared and I felt the scalding hot water burning my skin. Stumbled out of the shower, my soaked clothes streaming water on the floor as I tried to turn the shower off. The bathroom had filled with steam, so thick that it billowed out like a cloud when I opened the door.  
"Holy shit, Katrina! What the fuck?"  
Billy's hands gently skimmed my shoulders and neck, where the burns were the worst. I bit the inside of my cheek to stifle a cry, making Billy curse when a whine left my throat.  
"This is pretty bad, we need Steve," he grabbed my hips and led me backwards to sit on the edge of the tub, "stay here for a minute, okay? I'll call him and then I'll come help you change."  
-  
"Miss, can you hear me?"  
I jolted, inhaling sharply as I awoke and saw a woman in front of me. I took in the sterile white room, the woman's pink scrubs and started taking panicky breaths.  
"Where? How, how did I get here?"  
"Miss, you're in the hospital. Do you know your name?"  
"Yeah, my name is very fucking confused!" I shouted, swinging my legs off the bed.  
She held her hands out in an attempt to stop me, "you need to calm down before I have to sedate you," she waited, eyebrow cocked until I stopped moving, "good. You're safe here. You were found wandering outside, soaking wet with second degree burns. What's the last thing you remember? Did someone hurt you?"  
I shook my head, "I was at my boyfriend's...it was an accident."  
She eyed me closely, "Did he do this to you?"  
"No. I, the shower...I blacked out, the water was too hot."  
"These black outs, do they happen a lot?"  
"No, not really."  
"Okay, hun," she soothed, "you got someone I can call to come get you?"  
\--  
I had just gotten home from work and was washing the makeup off my face when it happened the first time. My reflection leaned back without me moving, it's head cocking to watch me. I stared in horror as it's eyes narrowed and it's hands came up, one grabbing the bottom of my mouth and the other grabbing the top. Then it started to pull. I watched it's mouth open wider and wider until the skin started to stretch and tear at the corners. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the ones in the mirror even as the skin started to tear more and more. Blood was running out of it's mouth, mixing with saliva to create red rivers down it's neck. The skin tore all the way to it's ears before it was met with resistance. My heart was racing, palms slick with sweat where I was clutching at the sink for support. A sickening pop and it's jaw hung free, only held on by a few strands of skin. It's tongue lolled out, hanging limply down it's neck.   
My stomach lurched and I scrambled to kneel by the toilet before puking. I got up after my stomach had emptied and stood in front of the sink to wash my mouth out. Took a hesitant glance at the mirror to find myself looking back at me, completely fine and only moving when I did, how I did.   
I ended up sleeping at Billy's that night, using the excuse that I was lonely to not worry him.  
\--  
It's happening again. One moment I was lost in thought staring out the window and the next, my reflection in moving on it's own. This time, a cruel smile on it's face as it reached up and placed it's fingers around it's eye. My stomach clenched but I couldn't move, couldn't look away. It's fingers curled and pressed into it's eyelid. Further and further it dug, it's sneer never wavering as it wrapped it's fingers behind it's eyeball. A wet pop and it's bloody hand was fully curled around it's eye. The hand turned, showing off it's prize and I noticed the eye was different. A circle of blue had started to form around the iris.  
The eyeball hung limp against it's cheek when it let go to lick the blood from it's fingers. I scrambled to get away from the window and barely made it to the sink in time for me to be sick.  
\-- May  
The twisted man had slowly been becoming more and more human every time I saw him. Limbs started to line up, making his movements more fluid, alive. His face moved back to normal, wounds closing up to stop the flow of blood and leaving only soft skin behind.  
Everything about him was crisp, sharp. From his angular features to his thick, dark hair swept back out of his face. Steely blue eyes looked down on me whenever I saw him, a menacing smirk deepened the dimple in his cheek.  
He was beautiful.  
I could never bring myself to look away, I was mesmerized by his presence. He even started to talk to me, at first just when I saw him and then he started talking in my head, interjecting in conversations. Despite his cold looks, he was actually nice to me. Bordering on affectionate the way he called me 'my pet' and the charming smile he'd give when I asked about him, though he never answered my questions, just deflected them.   
\--  
A man, dirty and beaten was on his knees in front of me. Tears pooled in the corner of his eye but didn't dare spill. His clenched jaw stopped any trace of a wobble.  
"Please, brother...don't do this."  
I looked from him to our captor as he regarded me with disdain. His lip pulled into a sneer and he started to turn away.   
I shut my eyes and swung, hearing the blade slice through my comrades throat. Flesh gave way easily under my blade, like butter. Heard him choke on blood, gurgling as he toppled to the dirt.   
"Anything for the mission," I muttered.  
I turned away and opened my eyes to find myself back in my cell, smashed mirror all around me. Picked out a curved piece to hide away before someone came in to clean up. Dug it out in another blink to drag across my ribs. A quick, sharp pain and a slow trickle of blood that would leave a permanent reminder.  
Another face, followed by another and another. A line up of faces, some pleading and crying, others stone faced and silent. Each one followed by a quick slice and a body falling to the ground. Each one remembered with another scar across my ribs. Each one easier than the last until I began to crave the feeling.  
I jolted awake, looking around frantically at my apartment walls. I could still feel each slice on my ribs but when I felt around, there was nothing there. No wounds, no scars, just smooth skin. Just a dream.  
\--  
"Tell me something about you," I murmured to the mirror, to him.  
He hummed, "come now, pet. You can't be that interested in me."  
I adjusted myself on the small vanity to turn more towards him, "I am. You've been around for months and I barely know anything about you."  
A smirk stretched across his lips, "alright. What do you want to know?"  
"Those memories I saw...killing those men, that was you, wasn't it?"  
There was a brief moment where pain crossed his face before he collected himself, "yes. Those are my memories."  
"Who were they? Why did you hurt yourself after each of them?"  
"They were my brothers...we were recruited into a special operations unit in the war. Our mission was to infiltrate the enemy base and make them trust us. Anything for the mission, that was our motto. None of us knew what we'd go through once we were captured, just a bunch of young men being sent in blind. We were tortured, beaten for days until we agreed to join the enemy. But they would only let one of us into their ranks, so we had to choose. Kill or be killed. My brothers were weak, they wouldn't do it...but I knew the mission was more important. I slit each of their throats and was welcomed into the enemy camp. They saw my potential, made me The Butcher and trusted me to be their lead torturer. I slaughtered many of my own men in the interest of my mission. The scars were my way of keeping track of them all."  
"Why? How could you turn on them like that?"  
His eyebrows creased, "easy. Love is weakness...and I am not weak."  
\--  
Another round of sleep paralysis. I'd been waking up in a cold sweat more often than not since the spell. But this time was different. I was frozen, standing in a forest. Thick woods surrounded me and a feeling of dread settled heavy in my gut. I could feel the trees shifting, like they were alive, closing me in. Holding me still. Suffocating me.   
Then, through the trees, I could see someone coming closer. Gliding closer and closer and then all at once they were in front of me. My heart was racing, a scream threatening to burst my chest open.   
It was me.  
I was face to face with myself. But there was something wrong with this other me. She was covered in blood and dirt and her eyes. They were completely black. She cocked her head to the side, watching me as the pressure built in my chest, like she was waiting for me to explode. Slowly, her arm lifted towards me.  
Then, in an instant, she was gone and I could breathe again. The pressure in my chest lifted and I was flooded with relief. The trees shifted, letting a man through, the man I'd been seeing. Calm and collected, he walked through the trees like an angel, ridding me of my fear. He walked up close to me and gently ran his knuckles down my cheek.  
"It's time to wake up, pet."  
\-- June  
I looked up after brushing my teeth and yelped when I saw my reflection. It was me, the other me, the one that was in the woods. Black eyes stared back at me, unblinking. She stared at me for a moment before opening her mouth in a grin, black blood pouring through her lips. Then she slammed her fists against the mirror.  
I screamed, running out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. But, as I tried to catch my breath I realized she was everywhere. In every reflective surface, slamming her fists against the reflection and screaming. Screaming so loud it rang in my ears. I grabbed the tea kettle off the stove and ran back to the bathroom, throwing it with all my strength into the mirror. It shattered, raining sparkling pieces of glass all over the counter and floor.  
I smirked down at the pieces when the screaming stopped. Breathed a sigh of relief. But then the laughing started. Echoing louder and louder in my head. I could see her cackling in the windows, picture frames and the other couple mirrors around my apartment. Frantically, I started covering everything reflective. Taped sheets and blankets over the windows and mirrors, covered the kitchen appliances with paper. Picture frames got the glass pulled out to be smashed. I was just finishing covering doorknobs and taps with cloths when I was grabbed by the shoulders and shaken.  
"Katrina!" Billy yelled, turning me to face him, "what the hell are you doing?"  
I stammered, "I..there was, she...it was so loud...why are you here?"  
"I heard you screaming bloody murder and thought you were being killed," he huffed, "I didn't realize you were just going on a crazy rampage against your apartment."  
"I'm..I wasn't..."  
"I'm worried about you, Katrina. You're not yourself, maybe we should go see the triplets..."  
The man's voice rang in my head 'tell him you're fine. Tell him you just need to relax.'  
"I'm fine, Billy," I repeated, "just need to relax."  
He frowned at me, "I guess I could take you out of the city for a while? We could spend some time out in the country?"  
I smiled, "yeah, that sounds like just what I need."  
"Okay, I'll start looking for places to stay."  
\--   
"Rina...Katr...Katrina!"  
I woke with a start, looking down at Billy's confused face. His hands were tightly wrapped around my wrists, holding them still. I gasped when I saw the blade in my fist pressed against Billy's throat. He watched me carefully as one of his hands moved to grab the knife.  
"Billy?"  
"Let go, Katrina."  
I opened my hands, letting Billy take the knife from me and started shaking, "I...I'm sorry, I, I was...was having a horrible dream."  
He huffed, "you think?"  
He set the knife on the bedside table and looked up at me, worried, "I knew we shouldn't have done that fucking spell."  
"I wanted to do it. Had to do it, for you. For Olivia. I think I just got in my head about what happened, made myself paranoid, y'know?"  
He shifted me off him and got up.  
"Wait, where are you going?"  
"Back to my apartment," he mumbled, "until we figure out what's wrong with you."  
\--  
Billy moaned against my lips before trailing down my neck, leaving a line of bruises in his wake. I arched into him, leaning heavily into the heat of his chest. Twisted my fingers into his hair and tugged gently to get my lips on his neck.  
I started to get a little hazy, the edges of myself blurring. I swore I could feel Billy's heartbeat against my lips. Could hear it thundering in my ears as I nipped at his skin. He sighed, relaxing into me. I bit down a little harder, heard him hiss and groan. His heart was pounding between my teeth and I...I couldn't...I had to.  
"Ah!" Billy cried, pushing me off him, "what the fuck?"  
One of his hands came up to the side of his neck. When he pulled it away his hand was smeared with bright red blood. Beads of blood sprang up on his neck, in the perfect shape of my teeth.   
"I...I don't, I didn't...I don't know what happened."  
"That's it. If this weekend doesn't help you, we're going to the triplets. I'm not dealing with this shit anymore. Something is fucking wrong with you, Katrina."  
He gave me a withering look before storming out of my apartment. Left me alone with the coppery taste of blood in my mouth and the fear that I was becoming something that I could never come back from. That I was becoming that monstrous version of myself and I'd never be the same again.  
\--  
"Steve?"  
He hummed over the phone, "yeah, what's up?"  
"Are you real?"  
"What? Katrina, are you okay?"  
I sat down on my couch, twirling the spoon in my hand to look at my reflection. The dirty, broken version of me stared back.  
"Can you help me? ...I need to wake up," I mumbled.  
"What...you are awake, Katrina. What are you talking about?"  
A sob bubbled up in my chest, choking me as I whispered, "I don't know what's real anymore, Steve."  
'I'm real, pet.'  
I could hear Steve mumbling, talking to someone else for a moment. I only heard snippets of what he was saying, things like 'panic attack' and 'sleeping' as well as Billy's cursing.  
"We're almost there, Katrina. Just relax, okay? Just sit down, breathe, we'll be there soon."


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> katrina loses herself

Katrina's POV 

"Have you seen Katrina?"  
"I thought she was with you?"  
"No...she went to grab something from the kitchen and never came back."  
I backed slowly out of the hallway, moving lightly to not make any noise. I couldn't let the boys know. Know that everything felt wrong, like I was barely holding on to myself.  
I slid into the bathroom to see him staring back at me. The man I'd been seeing since we left Salem. All harsh angles and cold blue eyes.   
He was smiling.  
A cruel smile, menacing even as the dimple in his cheek deepened.   
Stunning.  
"Tell me," he sneered, "do you know torture?"  
I could feel my lip wavering as I shook my head.  
"Don't worry, you will."  
"Please," I whimpered.  
He tutted at me, "quiet now, pet. Have I ever harmed you?"   
"No..."  
"You know I wouldn't, right? Not on purpose."  
I nodded slowly. It felt like I was losing control, like it took every ounce of concentration to get that one small movement.  
"Good, now don't fight me."  
\--  
I was stuck. Watching but disconnected from my body. Panic lanced through me, white hot as my body moved without my command.  
"Hush, my pet," his voice echoed in my head, "I've got us. Go to sleep."  
It was easy. To obey him and fall into darkness. Into complacency.  
I continued to fade in and out as we moved around the house. Silently lurking in shadows to watch Steve and Billy without them noticing.  
\--  
Billy's POV 

Tap, tap, tap.  
"You had to have heard it that time, Billy!"  
Steve was looking out every window in the house, frantic as he tried to figure out who was outside.  
"Do you think it's Katrina? Playing a prank on us?"  
I shook my head, "no, she'd be killing herself laughing if it was a prank. We'd hear her."  
"Well what the fuck? Someone is obviously out there!"  
"I don't know, Steve!"  
THUD.  
A hand smacked the window, causing Steve to scream and flinch away from it. The hand slid down, slipping down the window with a squeal. But not before I caught sight of a tattoo. A tattoo I recognized from Katrina's wrist.  
"Jesus," I huffed, "it is Katrina!"  
I stomped to the front door and threw it open to look out into the now empty yard.  
"Hey! Katrina! We know it's you, you got us! Ha ha you can come in now," I shouted into the dark.  
I heard the crunch of gravel and turned to look down the driveway. There, at the very end, standing perfectly still in the dim street light, was Katrina. At least, I was pretty sure, I couldn't really see anything other than her shape.  
"Hey! You got us, come inside!" I called.  
I saw her head cock to the side, but she didn't step forward, didn't move at all.  
"Billy? What's going on?" Steve asked from behind me.  
"Nothing," I answered, turning to look at him quickly before looking back outside.  
The driveway was empty now.  
"Katrina?" I yelled, looking around, "where'd you go?"  
"Billy...I don't like this," Steve whispered, "something's not right."  
"Yeah," I nodded, slowly closing the door and locking it, "if this is a prank, she's being an asshole."   
We retreated to the kitchen, staying close to each other and listening for any more sounds.  
"I'm gunna try to call her...tell her this isn't funny."  
I pulled out my phone and dialed Katrina's number. I was sent to voicemail five times before we heard the chime of her cell phone behind us. We jumped and whirled around to see her phone on the dining room table, screen lit up with my call until I was sent to voicemail again.  
"Katrina!" I yelled, "you're not fucking funny! Get out here now!"  
There was a few minutes of silence before we heard the screech of something dragging across glass from the other side of the house. Steve was really panicking now, his chest heaving with breaths that were coming too fast. I could feel my heart racing, thundering in my ears. With a gulp, I started walking in the direction of the sound, Steve close behind me.  
If I thought my heart was pounding before, it kicked into overdrive when we walked into the living room. All across the windows in big red lettering was 'HA HA HA HA HA'.   
"We should get the fuck out of here," Steve murmured.  
"Yeah, yeah we should...my keys are in the kitchen."  
We ran to the kitchen, searching the counters for my keys.  
"Where the fuck are they?"  
"Billy," Steve mumbled quietly, hand flapping wildly against my arm.  
I pushed things around the counter, looking for a flash of silver.  
"Billy," he said again, hitting my arm a little harder.  
"What, Steve?" I yelled, turning to look at him.  
He was staring behind me, face frozen and pale.  
"What are you-" I started, turning to follow his gaze.  
In the kitchen window was Katrina, staring straight at us. Not moving, just staring.  
"Katrina, knock it off. You're not funny," I called, my voice cracking a little.  
Her eyes flicked over to me and a menacing smile stretched across her face. One that sent shivers down my spine and reminded me too much of...  
"Fuck, Billy, look."  
I snapped out of my thoughts to see a flash of silver as her hand lifted up to the window. Her face didn't move as she twirled my keys around her finger. My mouth dried out when I noticed blood smeared across her face.  
"Steve, where's your phone?"  
He stammered, "u-upstairs, I think."  
"Go get it. Call Riley."  
"And tell her what? That Katrina's acting like some kind of fucking horror villain?" He hissed.  
"Yes, Steve," I growled, "exactly that. Tell her we need their help. Now."  
He made a noise in protest but slowly backed out of the kitchen and ran upstairs. I could hear his footsteps pounding on the stairs.   
So could Katrina.  
Her head turned to follow the sound and I stepped forward to pound on the window.  
"Hey! Who are you? Why are you doing this?" I yelled.  
She looked over at me quickly, for just a brief second, before she walked away from the window.  
"Steve!" I yelled, "hurry the fuck up!"  
"Coming!" He called, running back downstairs, "I found it but my battery is almost dead."  
"Well fucking call her fast."  
He nodded, her name already up on his phone. We were cast into darkness just as he clicked call, the only light being moonlight and the glow of Steve's phone. I looked around at the appliances, all of which had gone dark.  
"Oh fuck," he mumbled, "Riley! Riley, we need help! ...it's Katrina, she's acting like a psycho! ...I don't know, like a fucking horror villain, Riley! You guys need to come help us! ...yeah, we're at the cabin ...I'll send you the address, hurry."  
He quickly typed out the address to Riley and sighed shakily.  
"What do we do now?"  
"We wait, I guess."  
\--  
The battery in Steve's phone had lasted just long enough for us to find a few candles and get them lit, casting an eery glow across our faces as we huddled in my bedroom upstairs.  
We'd been up here for a while in total silence until we suddenly heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.  
"Billy," Steve whispered, "I thought you locked the doors."  
"I did..."  
I was just getting up to start pushing furniture against the door when I heard Katrina call out from down the hall.  
"Billy? Steve?"  
I froze, staring at the door and breathed, "Katrina?"  
Steve stepped forward to grab my arm, "no. No, no, no, no. That's not Katrina, remember?"  
"Billy?" She cried, "please, help me. I don't know what's happening...it hurts."  
I grabbed the door handle, ignoring Steve's protests as I opened the door to peek out into the hall. When I didn't see or hear anything other than Katrina's crying, I opened the door wider and stuck my face out to look down the hall. Katrina was at the end of the hall, facing away from us and standing perfectly still.   
"What do you see?" Steve whispered.  
"Just Katrina, at the end of the hall," I answered, tucking back into the room to grab a candle before slowly inching into the hallway.  
"Katrina? Babe?"   
As I walked closer to her I could see that she was covered in blood and called back, "Steve! She's hurt, get out here!"  
I could hear his grumbles of protest as he joined me in the dark. When we got to Katrina, she wasn't crying anymore, she was just silent and still. I gently touched her shoulder and turned her to face me and nearly dropped the candle.  
"Y-your eyes..." I stammered.  
"What?" Steve asked, coming around to look at her, "holy shit!"  
Katrina's left eye had changed, steely blue had split her previously vibrant green eye in half. She was staring at us blankly, like there was nobody inside, but that menacing smile stayed.  
I gulped, "Neil?"


	17. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina learns more about Neil's past

Billy's POV

"Neil?"  
Her mouth twitched into a smirk, "very good."  
"I swear, if you hurt her," I growled.  
Neil tsked at me, "relax. It's corn syrup, like in the movies...well, most of it."  
One of her arms lifted, just enough to show a shallow cut on the inside of her bicep that had already scabbed over.  
"Had to check my control."  
"Why? Why are you doing this? Why her?"  
"I could have picked anyone really, she wasn't the only one I followed...but, you really want to know why I picked her?"  
My jaw worked but no sound came out, I was frozen.  
She spun the knife in her hand, stopping to point it at me, "because of you and your mother. She was fascinated with this girl, loved her like her own, that's why I started following her. And then she found you and you made it too easy. You're both so weak, it's pathetic really."  
"Neil," I ground out, "why?" I could feel my eyes stinging with tears and clenched my jaw to stop it from wavering.  
"You always were a weak bastard," Neil sneered, "never stopped fucking crying. Blubbering about like a baby. I tried to make you strong and I see I've failed. You're my biggest mistake."  
"I was a child!" I yelled, "I didn't need to be strong!"  
"You were weak!" She screamed back, stepping up to get in my face.  
She followed me as I backed up, pinning me against the wall to grab my chin and hissed, "you are weak! You're too much like your mother."  
"Katrina," I pleaded, "please, you're stronger than this, stronger than him. Come back...please."  
Neil let out a cruel laugh, fingers tightening to bruise skin, "you really think that'll work? She can't hear you, she's gone," her hand came up to her chest, groping at her breast, "this body does have perks though. I quite like it."  
I looked away, clenching my jaw, "don't."  
She smirked and stepped back, "calm down. Your precious Katrina has no idea, can't feel a thing," the knife spun to point at herself, the tip pressing against the side of her stomach, "shall I test her? See how much I can do before she notices?"  
"No!" I shouted, lurching forward.  
But it was too late. The blade had sunk into her skin. She didn't flinch, even when slowly pulling the knife out, releasing a stream of blood.  
"See? We feel nothing."  
\--  
Katrina's POV

A handful of golden blonde hair, holding her close as she rocked against me. A hushed whine, muffled by her mouth against my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. Sent my hips stuttering up as I released inside her. We relaxed into each other, leaning back against the seat of my car. Shared lazy kisses as we caught our breath and sweat cooled on our skin.  
"I love you," she whispered against my lips, "don't go."  
"I'll be back. Before you even realize I'm gone," I caressed her face gently in my hands, "and when I get back, we'll get married and have lots of babies."   
She giggled, "lots?"  
"Don't you want lots of children?"  
She shook her head, "just two, a boy and a girl."  
I kissed her, softly murmuring, "anything for you, my love."  
\--  
"Marry me, Olivia."  
She smirked, "what? You mean when you get back?"  
I shook my head, "no. I want you as my wife before I leave."  
"Neil, you leave tomorrow."  
"So we go down to city hall and get married today. We can have the party when I get back, what do you say?"  
\--  
I cradled Olivia's cheek in my hand, using my thumb to gently pull her lip from between her teeth. She looked up at me with those ocean eyes, shimmering with salt water.   
"Don't cry," I murmured.  
"Will you write me?"  
I smiled, "as much as I can."  
I pulled her into my chest and pressed my lips to the top of her head. Her hands wrapped around my back, twisting in my shirt to keep me close. I could feel her back shake under my hands when she let out a shuddering breath and sighed, holding her tighter.  
"Can I stay?" She whispered.  
"Of course, my love," I answered, shifting her under my arm so I could walk her inside.  
Olivia curled back into my chest when I leaned against the wall. I held her like that for a while, just relishing in this time with her.   
"Hey," I whispered, tilting her head up to look at me, "just be here, now, don't worry about later."  
A small smile tugged at her lips before she kissed me.  
She let me lead her backwards down the hall, giggling when she stumbled a little only to be caught by my arm. I swung her to the side and pressed her against the wall, trapped her there with my lips. My hand trailed down the swell of her hip, to the thigh that had hitched up around my waist. She jumped and I was holding her up, both her legs wrapped around my waist.   
We were lying in my bed, a sheet draped loosely over bare waists. My fingers lazily combed through Olivia's golden curls as she hummed quietly against my chest, her fingers drawing idle designs on my skin.   
"Liv," I murmured, "I need up."  
She whined in protest when I slid out from under her but quieted when I leaned over to kiss her softly, "I'll be right back."   
I came back from the bathroom to see Olivia at the end of my bed, the sheet wrapped tight around her chest. She was running her fingers over my army bag, the carefree happy smile on her face replaced with sadness again. I crawled onto the bed behind her and kissed her shoulder.  
"Do you have to go?"  
"Yeah, I do," I sighed, "I signed on before I met you. But, all I know is now I want to stay here. Just want to stay here as long as I possibly can. You're all that matters anymore. If I could take it back, unsign my name, I would. You know that, right?"  
She nodded and tipped her head against mine, "I put something in your bag, to remember me."  
"How could I forget you, my love?" I smiled, wrapping an arm around her, "come on, don't think about it. Let's get some sleep."  
\--  
I no longer saw the sunshine in her golden curls, couldn't find the joy in a chubby cheeked child. I had been chewed up and spit out. Thrust back into this life that I didn't know how to be in anymore. My thoughts were consumed with the faces of fallen brothers and my own bloody hands.   
Anything for the mission.  
I was sent back a hero after being liberated from the enemy camp. My knowledge of the enemy would lead the troops to victory. But my twisted psyche meant I wasn't fit for duty. I missed the victory because I had learned to enjoy my mission. Enjoy the pain I inflicted on others, the feeling of warm blood rushing over my fingers, the sting of another scar decorating my ribs.   
No matter where I went, I was reminded of it. Men clapped my shoulder to congratulate the famous Butcher. Women fawned over the rumors they spread. It started making me feel caged and angry. Angry at the world for not leaving me alone. Angry at my wife, for pestering me, pushing me and angry at that little bastard that just never stopped. He was so god damn noisy all the time, crying and babbling. Attached to his mother like a pathetic extra limb.   
Currently, he was sitting in a heap on the kitchen floor, tears streaming down his face.  
"God, would you shut him up!" I yelled from the table.  
Olivia whipped around from the counter, "he is a child, Neil! Your child! You could try spending time with him."  
The chair I was in toppled to the ground when I stood up and I was across the kitchen in an instant, holding Olivia's chin tightly in my hand.  
"Do not," I growled, "disrespect me like that again. Shut him up. Now."  
Her eyes turned down away from me, "I'm sorry...I'll take him outside."  
\--  
I stepped up behind Olivia, wrapping my arms around her waist and setting my chin on her shoulder.  
"Let's go out tonight," I murmured, "just us."  
I could see the bruise on her chin tremble.  
"Neil," she whimpered.  
"I didn't mean to, Olivia. I just lost my temper, you know how I get. It won't happen again, just, go to dinner with me."  
\--  
"Neil!"  
Olivia lunged forward, putting herself between me and our son. I stood up fast, swinging my arm out.  
Two cracks, in quick succession before she thudded to the floor.  
One when my hand hit Olivia's jaw, sending her falling down. The other when her head hit the edge of the countertop. Then she was on the ground, blood pooling on the tile.  
\--  
I could feel myself coming back to my body, slowly waking up. I couldn't move myself but I was starting to become aware. I could hear his voice in my head.  
"Good morning, pet."  
"You're...Billy's dad?"  
"Ah, yes, I could feel you rooting around my memories."  
"Why are you doing this?"  
I started to slip back into darkness as I heard, "We all go a little mad sometimes."   
\--  
I groaned, finally coming back to my body. All I could feel was pain, hot and sharp as it radiated throughout my body. The back of my head, my stomach, everywhere was overwhelming pain. I tried to take a deep breath only for it to catch with a gasp.  
"Katrina? Is that you?"  
I struggled to open my eyes to see Billy hovering over me and realized my head was in his lap.  
"Billy? What...?" I tried to move again but cried out instead when the tensing of muscles caused a spark of white hot pain.  
"Billy, keep her still!"  
"S-Steve?" I looked down to see him kneeling beside me.  
It took me a moment to realize that the triplets were here too, all crowded around with worried looks on their faces. To really see that Steve's hands were covered in blood as they pressed into my stomach.  
"How long until the ambulance gets here?"  
Riley's hands were shaking as she tried to hold the phone to her ear, "fifteen minutes."  
"Fuck, I need towels. As many as you can find. Hurry!"  
The three of them scrambled to their feet and ran off, leaving me with the boys.  
"Billy," I murmured, "I'm sorry...your...your dad. It's...him."  
"Hey, it's okay," he soothed, "it's okay, we know."  
I could feel things starting to get hazy and looked up at Billy with watery eyes.  
"How...bad?"  
"It's pretty bad but you're gonna be okay. You hear me? Steve's gonna make sure you're okay."  
My breath hitched, starting to come quick and shallow.  
I choked on tears, "Billy, I...I don't want to die...I don't want to die here."  
His jaw clenched, "you're not going to. You listen to me, I'm not going to let you. Just stay awake, keep talking to me, okay?"


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve and billy share one brain cell

Billy's POV

"Neil, please...don't hurt her anymore."  
She smirked, bringing a bloody hand up to her mouth. Her tongue swiped out and ran up her finger, letting the blood pool before swallowing it with a hum.  
"Oh no, son. I'm just getting started."  
"Why?" I breathed, "why are you doing this?"   
"Because love is weakness, boy. And that is a lesson that you need to learn."  
She spun the knife again, watching it absently as she started talking.  
"Did you know, the world record for nails in the head before death is thirteen? Isn't that fascinating? And your girl here can only lose thirty percent of her blood before she goes down."  
She ran her fingers over the wound on the side of her stomach, "but I was careful. Didn't hit anything important, I could do this for a while-"  
She toppled to the ground, Steve standing behind her, panting with the remnants of a lamp in his hand. I hadn't even noticed him leave.  
The lamp crashed to the ground and I grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him away from Katrina to run downstairs.   
"What are you doing?" He hissed at me.  
"He's gonna keep hurting her or he's gonna turn on us. We have to hide, how much longer until the girls get here?"  
"I-I don't know, they should be here already."  
I tugged Steve into a bathroom, locking the door behind me before pulling him into the tub to hide behind the shower curtain.  
"We're being hunted by your dad's psycho ghost and this is your plan?" He whispered, "hiding in the shower?"  
I scrunched my eyes shut, shaking my head, "I don't have a plan, Steve! Shut up and help me think of a way out of this!"  
The cabin was eerily quiet as we stood there, the only sound our low breathing and the blood pounding in my ears.  
"Steve, is she going to bleed out?"  
He shook his head, "not from what I saw. He knew where to puncture that it wouldn't kill her. She's got a while."  
I nodded, breathing out a bit of tension before we heard someone moving around the cabin. Footsteps coming closer and closer to the bathroom door and then the jiggle of the door handle. Steve and I squished closer together as it kept jiggling.  
He yelped when there was a loud bang. There were a couple more thuds before the door flung open. Steve and I clutched at each other, both of us screaming loudly.   
The shower curtain was ripped to the side, revealing a confused Audrey with Brook and Riley crowded behind her.  
"What the fuck are you two doing?" She asked.  
"Riley," Steve breathed, shaking as he tried to get out of the tub.  
"What is going on here?" Audrey demanded.  
He stared at her with wide eyes, "I just had to knock her out with a lamp...what have you been up to? What took you so long?"  
She blinked at him a few times, processing before answering, "we had to get prepared. So, she's not herself?"  
"No," I answered, "it's my dad. He's who came through, he was hiding inside her until he was strong enough to take control."  
"Where is she now?"  
"Upstairs," Steve explained, "in the hallway."  
We followed the girls out into the hall and I couldn't help but notice the distance between Riley and Steve. How they purposely stayed as far away from each other as they could. I'd have to ask Steve about it when Katrina's back to normal.   
We got upstairs, where Katrina should have been, but instead there was just broken lamp and blood on the floor. She was nowhere to be found.  
"Fuck," I muttered.  
"Jesus," Audrey gasped, "how hard did you hit her, Steve? You know that she's still in there, right?"  
He huffed, "I didn't hit her that hard! She stabbed herself, or...Neil stabbed her...I don't know how this works."  
"Okay, any idea what he wants? Where he would be going? We need to get her back to the house to keep her safe."  
I looked at Brook and shook my head, "no idea. But she needs a hospital, we can't just take her to your house."  
Audrey arched an eyebrow at me, "she is dangerous! We can't just leave her in a hospital!"  
"Steve?" I turned to him for help.  
His jaw worked, the muscle jumping as he thought.  
Finally, he sighed, "I don't have the equipment to help her. But...Audrey's right, we can't leave her there. What if Neil is in control in the hospital and hurts someone else? We need to watch her and bring her home as soon as they'll let us."  
"You'll bring her to us," Audrey said, crossing her arms against her chest, "we'll keep her contained."  
"Fine," I grumbled, "we just need to find her."  
"Should be pretty easy," Brook explained, "you said it's your dad, obviously he wants to hurt you so he wouldn't go far. Why don't you call for them? We'll stay hidden and you try to draw them out."  
We left the hallway, went back downstairs to the living room where Steve and the girls hid behind furniture. I stood out in the open, trying to control the pounding of my heart.  
"Katrina? Neil? Are you still here?"  
I had to wait a while, call a few times, before I saw Katrina's face come out of the darkness.  
"Hello, son."  
I looked at the blood staining the front of Katrina's clothes, dripping to the floor, coating her hands and smeared across her face. Noticed how pale her skin had gotten, the shine of sweat on her brow.  
"Neil. Please. She needs help, let her go."  
A smirk stretched across her face before she licked her lips, "time's running out for her. I know you've got some friends here, what's your plan? Grab me while my back's turned? I'm a little too smart for that, don't you think?"  
"Don't have a plan, I just want to get Katrina to a hospital."  
"How sweet," she hissed, bringing forward a knife from behind her back, "I don't know what I'd prefer, to kill her or to hang on to her...draw this out for as long as possible."  
I tensed, watching the knife spin in her hand until it pointed at her stomach.   
Her arm jolted forward but stopped when Audrey yelled, "stop!"  
She had jumped out from behind the couch, hands stretched out and had a surprised look on her face. Katrina was completely frozen, the knife halfway into her stomach.  
"Holy shit," Audrey murmured, staring at her hands.  
We all stared at her, shocked for a moment before Audrey sagged into Brook's arms and Katrina dropped to the floor, pulling the knife out as she fell. Steve and I rushed forward to an unconscious Katrina, me by her head and Steve holding his hands against her stomach.  
"Call an ambulance!" Steve yelled, "now!"


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a steve and riley chapter

Riley's POV

I was lounging in my greenhouse, letting my legs swing gently off the side of the chair I was in while I read. Steve had sent me this book, must have ordered it as soon as he got back home cause it arrived only a couple days later with a note that read 'Love you, see you soon.' He he was good at surprising me in little ways, to lessen the sting of distance. If he wasn't working, we would FaceTime for as long as we could and when he was working I still got texts throughout the day until he was done. Sometimes, he'd FaceTime me just as a waitress from the cafe across the street walked into my store with a bag and a coffee that he'd ordered. 'Lunch date,' he'd say and we'd sit and eat together, telling each other about our mornings or planning our next weekend together. I loved him with every fibre of my being and couldn't imagine being with anyone else.  
SMACK  
Audrey dropped a book beside me and turned the chair across from me backwards so she could drape her arms over it when she sat down. She flicked her bright red hair over her shoulder and waited for me to set my book down and sit up.  
"What's this?" I asked, grabbing the pink book and thumbing over the pages.  
"Brook and I found it. One of your old diaries, open it. To the ribbon."  
I flipped the pages open, stopping at the silky ribbon, "okay? What now?"  
"Read."  
"I wished for him again today. Someone to save my life. Who'll answer my call from miles away even if it's three in the morning. Someone who will stay up all night talking and watching horror movies with me, even if they're scared. And they won't be upset or push me if that's all we do. They won't be like him...He'll make the best French toast anyone's ever tasted. He'll put others before himself. And he'll be marvelously kind with warm, brown eyes and velvet soft lips. That's my wish."  
"That's my wish," Audrey repeated.  
"I don't get it, Audrey. Why'd you go through my stuff for this?"  
"That's a love spell, Riley."  
I shrugged, "yeah, but it didn't mean anything. I didn't know what I was doing, I was heart broken and, and after...I just didn't want to hurt anymore. But it didn't mean anything."  
She raised an eyebrow at me, "you meant it at the time. Read it again and tell me that doesn't describe Steve."  
"It could describe anyone!" I argued.  
She just stared at me, "if that makes you feel better. But don't you think he deserves to know?"  
I didn't answer, just turned my eyes down to the pages in front of me as she left.  
\--  
It's been just over a week since Steve left and as the week dragged on, the weight of Audrey's words hung heavy in my mind. I had to tell Steve.  
"Hey, Babe!"  
I blew the air out of my lungs, feeling tears already stinging my eyes when I murmured, "hey, Steve."  
I could hear him shifting, "what's going on? Are you okay?"  
"I haven't been doing too good, actually."  
"Talk to me, what's going on?"  
"I just, I don't think I can do this, Steve."  
"I know, I know the distance sucks, Riley. But, we'll see each other soon, and I think I can swing an extra day off so we can have another day together."  
I sniffed, "no, I...I need to tell you something, okay? I just need you to listen."  
"Okay," he murmured.  
I swallowed hard, "about ten years ago, I...I was dating a boy. He was older than me, in college, and we were only dating a little while but he...I didn't know if I wanted to, didn't know if I loved him but he expected it. He, he forced me...he hurt me."  
I paused to wipe my cheeks and collect myself a little.  
"When I got home, I was so hurt, so heartbroken. I did a spell, a love spell so I wouldn't be hurt again. I wished for someone...someone exactly like you, Steve. And that's not fair to you, if you're only here because I wished for you."  
"Oh," he breathed, "Riley, I don't, can we talk about this? In person? I can try to figure something out to come see you."  
"I'm sorry, I just, you needed to know. I need to go, I'm sorry, Steve."  
\--  
"Steve? What-"  
"Riley! Riley, we need help! ...it's Katrina, she's acting like a psycho!"  
I scrunched my eyebrows together, "what do you mean?"  
"I don't know, like a fucking horror villain, Riley! You guys need to come help us!" He yelled.  
"Okay, where are you? At that cabin?"  
"Yeah, we're at the cabin ...I'll send you the address, hurry."  
\--  
Billy and Audrey were getting Katrina set up in her room, saying goodbyes. Him and Steve had to go back to New York but planned for at least one of them to come back to Salem every weekend. Steve had pulled me aside, outside the house, to talk.  
"Riley, I..I'm sorry," he breathed, "I'm sorry about what happened to you."  
I shook my head, "don't be. I'm sorry, Steve. You deserve someone better, someone who can be with you the way you want...someone who doesn't need months to decide if they're ready to sleep with you."  
He ran a hand up my arm gently, "I need to tell you something, okay?"  
He waited for me to nod before continuing, "when I was a teenager, I was head over heels in love with a girl. I thought I'd found the one you know? But she didn't love me. She cheated on me for months, strung me along and pretended she wanted me but was in love with someone else. One night, at a party, she got really drunk and told me she didn't love me, that our entire relationship was bullshit. I left and Billy found her with the other guy."  
"Steve," I breathed, "I'm sorry."  
He took a deep, shuddering breath, "just, there's more. After that...I was so broken, I didn't care about anything anymore. I started partying all the time, could barely get through the day sober."  
His chin wavered, his voice catching in his throat, "I went to a party one night and ended up out of my mind. I had no idea what was going on...one second I was downstairs drinking and the next," he chewed his lip, tears filling his eyes, "the next, I was lying on a bed...with someone on top of me. I couldn't, I couldn't move...couldn't talk, I couldn't tell her no."  
His face crumpled as he broke, his hand coming up to cover his mouth when he sobbed, trying to stifle it, to hold himself together. I could feel tears starting to rain down my own cheeks when I reached forward to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. His hand fell from his face when mine slid up to cup his cheek, tilting his face up to look at me.  
"I'm sorry," he choked, "I've never...nobody knows."  
I pulled him close to share a gentle kiss before he let his head fall to my shoulder, soaking my sweater with tears. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tight as we both fell apart.  
"Steve, I'm so sorry," I murmured into his neck.  
He let out a long breath and pulled back, just enough to look at my face, "I wished for you too, Riley. I wished every day for so long that I'd find someone like you. I didn't know it at the time, I just wanted to love and be loved in return. But, after we met...I just knew, it clicked. The whole time, I was wishing for you," he paused, letting that sink in, "there's nobody else for me and I don't want anybody else. I want you, all of you, forever. You and me, every day. I love you, Riley. I don't need sex to know that I love you."  
"I love you, Steve...but, did I wish this into existence? Did I force this against your will?"  
"Does it matter? Does that change how you feel? Cause it doesn't change anything for me."  
"What about the distance, Steve?"  
He smiled, "what about it? You can come with me."  
"To New York?"  
"Yeah."  
I scrunched my eyebrows, "what am I going to do in New York?"  
"Be with me. If you want...or I could move to Salem."  
"But, your job..."  
"It's just a job, Riley. I can work in any hospital, I don't care where I am, as long as I'm with you."


	20. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

Billy's POV 

Sirens blared as we sped down the road away from the cabin. I was tucked the side of the ambulance, out of the way of the EMTs who were trying to stop Katrina's bleeding.   
She had passed out for a few minutes but her eyes were fluttering open again, just a little before squeezing shut as tears started pouring down her cheeks.   
Her chest shuddered as she sobbed, "Billy?"  
I leaned forward so she could see me and laced our fingers together, squeezing tight, "I'm here, Katrina, it's gunna be okay."  
"I'm scared," she choked, meeting my eyes.  
"Hey," I murmured, "it's okay, I'm right here, babe."  
Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment before she whispered, "Baskin Robbins.."  
"What?"  
"Did you know...they have thirty one flavours?"  
I stared at her, confused, and she choked on a wet laugh.  
"I'm gunna die and I don't even know...which one's my favorite."  
I smirked, shaking my head before tipping it into her hand, "no you won't. You're gunna be fine and I'll buy you more ice cream than you could ever eat, you hear me?"  
I looked back up at her and noticed her eyes had closed again.

Katrina's POV 

It hurts. My muscles feel like I just finished a marathon, my head is pounding. The light filtering through my eyelids is too bright, every noise too loud. Most of all, my heart hurts.   
My heart aches for Olivia, losing the man she loved to gain a reaper in his place. Having her dreams of a happy life crushed in his bloody hands. She had her life poisoned and taken away by the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.  
My heart hurts for Neil. For having been tortured, broken and molded into a shell of himself. He had been twisted so much that he no longer had the capacity to love. The things he wanted, a loving wife and kids, instead became heavy burdens.   
And most of all, my heart burns for Billy. The boy who lost every parent he's known because of Neil's trauma. The boy who blamed himself for years, who's biggest fear in life is taking up that torch from his father instead of extinguishing the flames.  
It hurts and I'm so exhausted.  
I could hear Billy and Steve talking, could feel my head throbbed painfully to the sound.  
"Too loud," I croaked.  
"Katrina?" Billy asked, "are you awake?"  
I could feel his hand slide around mine, squeezing gently.  
"You're so loud," I mumbled.  
Steve snorted, "good morning to you too. Is it actually you now?"  
I opened my eyes a little, squinting at him and held up my middle finger, making them both bark out a laugh.  
"Where are we?"  
"In the hospital, you were pretty hurt," Steve answered, "do you remember what happened?"  
I shook my head a little, "only pieces. I remember seeing him and then being in the house, bleeding and now I'm here."  
"Neil," Billy grumbled, "do you still feel him with you?"  
"I don't know...I'm just tired, everything hurts."  
He leaned forward to press a kiss to my forehead, "okay, it's okay. I'll go find a doctor, see if they'll let you out of here, alright?"  
"Thanks," I murmured.  
He walked out, leaving me with Steve, who was eyeing me carefully.  
"Why didn't you tell us something was wrong? We could have brought you to the girls."  
I sighed, "I didn't realize, didn't know he would do that...that he could take over like that. I didn't think he'd hurt me..."  
Steve's shoulders tightened a bit, "we had to tell the doctors you were attacked. They would have put you in psyche if we didn't and we need to watch you, make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else...we're taking you to Audrey, you'll be staying there for a while."  
I swallowed thickly, nodding, "okay."  
\--  
"You're kidding," Billy growled.  
Audrey crossed her arms in front of her chest, "not even a little."  
"Audrey, you can't just lock her in here," he argued, gesturing at the room behind him.  
The room I'd been locked in before, in the basement of their house. The sparse, cold room that I'd woken up alone in after everything went wrong.  
She scoffed, "so you'd rather her wander around not in control of her own body?"  
"I'm right here," I mumbled.  
Audrey looked towards me, "I'm sorry, Katrina, but we don't really have a choice. We don't want you or anyone else getting hurt."  
I gave her a weak smile, "it's okay."  
Billy clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth together, but helped me shuffle to the bed. Helped me ease down, holding my arms tight so I didn't move too quickly and pull my stitches. He cupped my face after I was settled and placed a gentle kiss to my forehead, nose and finally my lips.  
"Get some rest and heal up, okay? We still need to figure out which flavour at Baskin Robbins is your favorite," he smiled.  
"What?"  
He chuckled, "you don't remember? You were crying about ice cream in the ambulance."  
I groaned, tipping my head backwards as my cheeks heated. He just laughed harder and kissed me again, mumbling about me being adorable.  
\--  
I looked around, noticing little changes to the room since the last time I'd been locked in here. There were now plush fur and knitted blankets folded across the bed, a stack of books on the bedside table, even a little TV and a selection of movies. The girls had tried to make the room more comfortable, though no matter how many creature comforts you add, it still felt like being locked in a box.  
The door opened and I looked over to see Riley with a tray of food in her hands.   
"Dinner," she smiled, coming over to set the tray on the table beside my bed.  
She held my hand and helped me slide up the bed, placing pillows behind me so I could sit up a little. The tray she placed in my lap was covered in food. Bowls of soup with steaming biscuits and glasses of iced tea, there was even a little plate of chocolate chip cookies.  
"I know there's another person in my head but he doesn't need food, we share the same stomach," I joked.  
She snorted, "I wanted to join you. If you want my company that is."  
I smiled at her, "thanks."  
We dug into our food, dunking buttery biscuits into hearty chicken soup and sipping sugary sweet iced tea until we were full.  
"Did you make all that?"   
Riley nodded, "I like to cook, takes my mind off things."  
"If you teach me how to make those biscuits, I'll teach you how to make iced tea."  
She laughed, "you didn't like it? I put a lot of effort stirring the powder into water."  
I smirked, "that stuff is too sweet for me. I...my ex was from the south, she converted me."  
Riley nodded, a small smile on her lips, "Steve told me about that, I'm sorry about what happened."  
I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back tears, "thanks...at least I can still see her though."  
"Do you still?"  
I puffed out a breath, "I hope so...I haven't seen or felt anyone else since the spell, it's just been Neil."  
"Right...is he, do you still...feel him?"  
I shook my head, "no, maybe he's gone, maybe he's weakened...I don't know."  
She laid a gentle hand over my leg, "we'll figure it out, don't worry. Everything will be fine."  
\--  
It took two weeks for my stitches to be removed, for me to be able to move around by myself. I got to see Ally, Olivia and Elle again during those two weeks which was a blessing. But I still felt like something was off, like things were too quiet.  
It took three weeks for the silence in my head to be broken by Neil's deep and buttery smooth voice.  
"Hello, pet."  
I jumped, looking around my room to the small mirror on the dresser where I saw his face looking back at me.  
"What do you want?"   
"Oh, come now, pet," he chided, "are you mad at me?"  
I clenched my jaw, turning away to mumble, "you said you wouldn't hurt me."  
I swore I could feel the warmth of a hand on my face, "I didn't mean to, I lost control. Being dead has...changed me."  
I chewed my lip but felt a soft tug pulling it from my teeth and looked back at him, confused.  
"Was that...are you able to touch me?"  
His reflection faded, showing me that I was holding my own face.  
"We are connected," he explained, his reflection coming back, "I want to show you something. Close your eyes."  
He waited for me to obey before continuing, "good. Now, relax. Imagine yourself stepping back, letting go of your body."  
I let my body relax completely, felt myself detach from my body and found myself in a different room. A dimly lit room with two dark, plush chairs sat in front of a fireplace.   
"What is this?" I asked.  
Our voices had a wispy echo to them. Ethereal, like we were in a different world here.  
"This is my space," he explained, coming into the flickering light, "our space now. We can see each other here."  
He stepped close to me, the smell of him washing over me, intoxicating. Reached a hand out to run his fingers through my hair.  
"We can feel each other here," he murmured.  
I gasped, flinching away from his touch and he dropped his hand with a tight smile.  
"Trust me."  
"I thought you were gone," I murmured, "it's been weeks."  
I realized there was a part of me that wanted him to stay, that had been upset thinking he had left me. That didn't want the quiet that came without him.  
He sighed, "I used too much energy when I took control of you. I needed you to heal so I could get my strength back."  
"So your strength comes from me?"  
"I told you, we're connected."


	21. Chapter 20 - Ally's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapters not nice. Ally's story is based off Cat's story from Demons but without a support system. TW Sexual assault and eating disorder

Ally was perched on the end of my bed, watching as I changed the bandages on my stomach. I taped sterile white gauze to my skin and eased myself back onto the bed with a groan.  
"You've been hanging around a lot," I mumbled.  
"Do you not want me here? I can leave."  
"No! Wait, stay. Please, I like the company. I just mean, I hadn't seen you in a long time."  
"When he's around we can't get close to you," she explained, "he keeps us away. But he's weak right now."  
She sat back against the wall with a sigh, eyeing me after catching me staring at her, "what?"  
"What's your story, Ally? What happened to you?"  
She held her arms up so I could see the two long cuts that ran down her forearms, "isn't it obvious?"  
"That's not your story, not all of it."  
She dropped her arms into her lap, "you don't have to pretend to care. I'm already dead."  
I stretched my hand across the bed, reaching for her, "I do care."  
Her eyes were teary when she met my gaze, her jaw tight, but she still moved closer to take my hand.  
\--  
"Mommy, Daddy's home," I announced.  
She shook her head, "no, sweetie, he's not off work for a couple hours."  
But then, a few minutes later, he walked through the door. Sent home early because of the blizzard sweeping through town. My mother brushed it off, saying I must have seen his car even though I was playing nowhere near the windows at the time.  
That feeling, that sense of knowing, it never went away. As I got older, I realized it wasn't normal to know when someone was getting close. It wasn't normal to turn around and yell out your friends names when they were trying to sneak up on you. I started losing friends fast, nobody wanted to be associated with the outcast. The chubby cheeked weirdo that gave everyone the heebie jeebies.   
I was twelve when the bullying shifted from my weirdness to my weight. The rest of my classmates had shed their baby fat and were lean where I still had a layer of pudge. That's when everything started to turn for the worst. Boys who knew I was crushing on them would sneer and laugh to their friends when I passed them. They'd pretend to like me outside of school just to turn around and shun me once in a group of classmates. Girls looked down on me, snickered when they saw me eating lunch.  
Comments started coming from my family through the years too. Things like, 'haven't you eaten enough?' 'You know, everything you put on has to come off.' 'A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.' And, 'do you think you need seconds?'  
My mom too, liked to tell me how little she weighed as a teenager. Joked about how her and her friends would compare thigh gaps like it was no big deal. She complained about how much she weighed now that she'd had me even though she still looked like she could be whisked away by a strong breeze. She thought she was helping by telling me maybe I'd have more friends, maybe boys would like me if I lost some weight.   
At fifteen I found a website filled with pages and pages of wispy girls who's bones stuck through their skin. Girls who bragged that they had to wear children's clothes because nothing else fit, bragged about the amount of exercise they'd done that day. They shared tips and tricks to curb your hunger, told you if you followed all the rules you too could be beautiful, weightless, like them.   
By sixteen, I was one of them. Comparing each days food and exercise with a group of people like me. I finally found my people, my sisters, the ethereal Wintergirls. I fed exclusively off people's compliments and they loved to tell me how much better I looked now. My mom praised my hard work, indulged my diet coke addiction. She was proud to have created a Wintergirl in her image.  
Nobody in those groups liked to talk about the negatives. They didn't warn me that becoming one of them wouldn't be glamorous. That it meant constantly freezing, that your body starts growing more hair to keep you warm, that the hair on your head will get thin and lifeless, your nails turn blue and even a light brush will leave bruises on your skin. They didn't tell me that no matter what goals you hit, there would always be another. I wasn't prepared for my life to become consumed by numbers. How many sit ups, how many inches, tracking weight down in a notebook and sobbing if was more than last time. They didn't mention that I'd still hate myself no matter what.  
I started swallowing handfuls of pills, secretly hoping that this time it would be enough to poison my liver. I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don't know that I want to die. I want to be normal, to eat and not hate myself, but that's not who I am anymore.  
I kept waking up, forced to struggle through another day. Started drowning myself in alcohol every night and on the weekends, trying to find something to make me feel again. Some of the more popular girls started talking to me, asking for the secret on how to look as good as I do now, inviting me to parties hoping to get me to spill. I went to the parties but not to spill my secrets. I went for the free alcohol and eventually the drugs that the boys brought.  
I had found my usual party group, the people who carried baggies of various things in their pockets. Accepted a baggie from a baby faced jock who smiled when he passed it to me.   
"It'll be fun," he whispered in my ear, "trust me."   
I looked at the pills for a moment before tossing them into my mouth and taking a swig of my drink to swallow them down.   
"Good girl," he praised.  
He didn't leave my side, didn't let me leave his sight. He was always there with an arm around me even though I didn't know him. Tempting me with tinted eyes.  
This doesn't feel right.  
I should have known better.  
After a while, I started to feel weird. My limbs felt too heavy to move and I thought I was going to pass out. I leaned heavy into the boys side, not trusting my legs to keep me up anymore.  
"It just hit you, didn't it?" He asked, holding me up.   
My tongue felt too thick to move, to protest, when he picked me up. Threw me over his broad shoulder and took me back to his house.  
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he soothed.   
I struggled to cry out, to push his hands away but he was so much bigger than me, had layers of muscle where I had only bone. His hands were too rough when he grabbed, when he held my wrists in one hand and undressed me with the other.   
I tried again to move my legs, to fight him, but nothing worked.  
"Relax," he murmured, "I'll make you feel good."  
The room faded in and out through eyes blurry with tears. I could feel him. Everywhere. Every inch of me consumed by his warmth. The moments where I could almost grasp clarity were filled with pain.   
He wiped a tear from my cheek, his touch tender now when he whispered, "I know you're into it...God, you feel so good."  
I didn't wake up again until sometime in the morning. The sun had barely kissed the sky, just enough that the room I was in wasn't pitch black anymore. Just enough light to see that the sheets I was wrapped in were blue, not white. Just enough light to know I didn't know where I was. It took me a moment to realize there was someone else in the bed with me, a large arm wrapped loose around my waist. Tanned skin tight around broad shoulders that I might have felt safe in before. I screwed my eyes shut tight, hoping this was a horrible nightmare. But, when I opened them I was still here. The dark bruises in the shape of his fingers still stuck on my skin, the pain was still there.  
I slid out of the bed, biting the inside of my cheek and praying that I could get out of here without him waking up. Apparently the universe thought I deserved this small favor because I was able to find my stuff, get dressed and slip out of his house without anyone seeing me.  
Outside, I pulled my phone from my pocket to figure out where I was. I was an hour's walk away from home. By the time I got home...I'd have to get ready for school right away. I sent out a quick text to my group for someone to bring me something strong to get me through the day and started my long walk of shame.  
I did the best I could to hide all the bruises under my clothes before going to school. Long sleeves pulled down into my fists, dark leggings, I even layered on a shirt with the tallest neckline I could find. Hid the red circles around my eyes under dark makeup and called it good enough.   
I disappeared into the crowd at school, slinking from shadow to shadow like I was hiding from a spotlight. Thankfully, someone answered my text and slipped a baggy into my pocket during a quick hug. I wasted no time swallowing the pills, didn't even question it. I just needed everything to stop.  
I only got through my first class without seeing him.  
I was at my locker when suddenly I was picked up and spun around. I was too shocked to do anything more than shriek. Hit the ground and spun around to find myself face to face with that same boy. The star of the football team, he was all broad shoulders and a soft, innocent face. He came from money and everybody loved him because of it. But, of course, they didn't know what really lied behind that sweet face.  
"Hey babe," he cooed, "missed you this morning. You could have stayed, I would have driven you home."  
The breath rushed from my lungs and I was reliving flashes of memories from the night before. Once again trying and failing to fight back. Hearing his voice in my ear.   
"Hey, Bryce!" Another jock clapped him on the shoulder, "introduce us to your girlfriend!"  
"I..your...what?" I stammered.   
"Guys, Ally...Ally, guys," he beamed, pulling me into his side.  
The group of them said their hellos, and then quickly disappeared to their own lockers. I shoved him as hard as I could, but I barely moved him an inch. He still had a smile on his face even though his eyebrows had knit with confusion.  
"Your girlfriend?" I hissed.  
"Well, yeah? I assumed, after last night, y'know?"  
"You assumed!"   
He lifted his hands defensively, "take it easy, don't need to shout."  
I spun and stalked away from him, to a quieter, more secluded corner of the school to try and calm my nerves.   
He followed me, practically purring, "trying to find somewhere private for us?"  
I stopped, dumbfounded, giving him time to come up behind me and plant a kiss to my neck.   
I recoiled, shoving Bryce away and shouting, "get off me!"  
"What the fuck is your problem? You gave it up so easy last night and now you're gunna act like a prude?"  
"I...I didn't give anything! You took! You drugged me, carried me home when I couldn't walk and had sex with me when I couldn't say no! You raped me!"  
"Babe," he started, "come on-"  
"No! Don't fucking call me babe, I don't even know you! I'm not your girlfriend! I'm your victim!"  
He got in my face, close enough I could feel the heat from his skin, and growled, "fuck you. We could have been something, y'know? I could have given you everything. You asked for the drugs, remember? You're just a fucking whore, using men to get what you want and then dropping them. You wait, I will fucking destroy you."  
By the afternoon, everybody had seen the pictures he took of me unconscious and were calling me a whore. Calling me a skeleton, ugly, a tease, a user. Nobody could believe I didn't want it. 'Look at him,' they'd say, 'he's gorgeous. How could you not want him?' Or, 'I'd give anything to have him even look at me and you're complaining?'   
\--  
It only took a couple days before someone approached me outside of my class. Asked if I'd sleep with him if he gave me something.  
"Are you serious? You think I'm a prostitute or something? Try being a gentleman and asking a girl on a date, you'd have a better chance."  
His eyebrows raised, "you wanna go on a date with me?"   
"Not now I don't, shitdick," I scoffed, pushing my way into class.  
Later that day, people were saying I'd slept with him anyway.  
\--  
This went on for months. People would approach me asking for sex and when I turned them down, they made up a story and spread it around.   
There was one boy...I thought he was different. He said all he wanted was to take me on a date, for me to give him a chance. So I did. I let him take me out for a coffee since I didn't eat in front of anyone. We actually had a good time, he made me laugh for the first time in a long time. For a minute, I felt like maybe I could see a way out of the dark.  
Then, our way out of the cafe, I thought I saw a glimpse of Bryce but when I looked again, I didn't see him.  
He drove us away from the city, to a secluded area where it was just the two of us. We sat in the back of his car, talking for a while until he brought me close and kissed me. Fingers started to tug at clothing, pulling a noise of protest from my throat.  
"I took you out," he murmured, "now be a good girl for me."  
I let my mind go blank, let him take what he wanted. Saw Bryce in his place and let a few tears fall silently.  
I realized that no matter how good I thought things could be, no matter what I do, Bryce would still be on top of me and I still wouldn't be able to breathe. He'd always be there, sneering that he'd destroy me.  
\--  
Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was the hardest.  
I felt like I had started dying the night Bryce took me home. Like everything since then had to have been a fever dream caused by cells deteriorating. Last night had nailed that feeling home. That I was already dead, just stuck in hell.  
I showed up at school to see a snickering crowd in front of my locker. 'Whore' was painted across the door along with 'Liar' and 'Dirty Slut'.   
Standing at the front of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face was Bryce and the rest of the football team.  
He invaded my space, my senses, the heat radiating from his skin threatening to burn me up. The heady cologne he wore, a toxic gas that stole oxygen from my lungs and replaced it with poison.  
His voice, low and husky in my ear when he sneered, "nobody believes you. Nobody cares about you. I bet nobody would even care if you were gone," he pulled away just enough to look into my eye, "I win."  
I was holding back tears as I tried to retreat from the school, walking as fast as I could to escape the laughter when my arm was caught in someone's hand. I looked up at the girl who grabbed me and recognized her from some of my classes. We weren't really friends but we were close enough to know each other.  
"You okay?"   
I faked a smile, tried to ignore my voice cracking, "awesome...I'm awesome."  
"Hey, screw those assholes, Ally."  
I knew she was trying to help, that she thought her words would be enough to break through months of abuse hurled my way.   
They weren't.  
My shoulders slumped, "haven't you heard? I already did."  
I slipped between her fingers and didn't look back.  
\--  
"Whatever happened to chivalry?" Ally sighed, leaning against the wall next to me, "romance? I always wanted a relationship like in those cheesy old movies. You know, where the love interest makes some grand gesture to say they love you? That's what I dreamed of."  
I wiped the tears from my face, "Ally.."  
She smiled sadly at me, "I always thought I'd find the one when I became perfect. That if I could just be good enough...but that never happened, perfect never came."


	22. Chapter 21

Neil's POV  
July  
The more time I spent talking to Katrina, the more I started to find myself again. My moments of darkness, of pain and anger, lessened and gave way for the real me to come back. The version of me before the war, when all I wanted in life was the perfect family. Sometimes, when I let Katrina have control of her body, I'd find myself dreaming of what could have been. What should have been.  
A quaint home with a picket fence, two kids playing in the yard and Olivia and I lounging in the shade close by. Our little boy had the same shining, golden curls as Olivia but with my sharp features and blue eyes, a stunning little boy. He was obsessed with his little sister, never leaving her side and letting her hang off him even though she wasn't much smaller than he was. Our little girl was beautiful, with my dark wavy hair and Olivia's bright green eyes. She was always hanging on to one of us with a bright smile, her giggle twinkling through the air.   
It was almost perfect, this little world I'd built, except I wanted the real Olivia. I needed my actual Olivia, my love.   
I opened my eyes to find myself face to face with Katrina. We were in the room I'd designed for us, with the fireplace crackling and casting dancing shadows across her face.   
"You're back..that was quick," I murmured.  
We'd been spending a great deal of time together here when her body was resting. Sharing her body, both of us taking turns controlling it while the other waited in her mind. We spent enough time together that Katrina had begun to trust me again, had gotten close to me again.  
She smiled tightly, "it's late. And nobody could come see me today...What were you dreaming of?"  
"I wasn't."  
"I could feel it. You were happy."  
I sighed and smiled at her, "nothing gets past you, pet."  
"We're connected," she repeated what I always said to her.  
I smirked, leading her to sit near the fire, "I was thinking of what could have been."  
"If you hadn't died?"  
"If I hadn't gone to war. If I'd stayed and been a proper husband."  
Her fingers splayed over mine, soft and warm, "do you miss her?"   
"Yes," I confessed.  
Katrina was quiet as she leaned lightly into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment before I had an idea.  
"I have something to ask of you, my pet."  
She hummed, moving to look up at me from where she lied against my side.  
"Olivia..do you think you can get her to see me?"  
"I'm not sure...I saw her a little bit when I was healing but Ally said you keep them away. I haven't seen anyone since you came back."  
"I'll let them come."  
She was quiet for a moment before murmuring, "why?"  
"You want me to be happy, right?"  
"Yes," she whispered, tucking her face back down to my shoulder.  
"Good," I smiled, stretching to kiss the top of her head lightly before settling back and wrapping my arm around her.  
\--  
"Katrina..."  
She looked over at the small mirror in her room to see me. She hadn't come back to me for a few days now, avoiding me as she toiled over what I'd asked her to do.  
"Talk to me."  
She sighed, setting the book down she'd been reading before answering, "I don't know if it's a good idea. Billy and Audrey are still trying to find a way to help me."  
"Pet...take a look around. I'm the only one who hasn't walked out on you. They've left you locked down here by yourself for weeks. There's no way to seperate us and they're scared of you. They've given up on you."  
I saw the tears pooling in her eyes when she got up to cross the room and turn the mirror over so she couldn't see me anymore.  
"I'm here," I murmured before retreating and leaving her in her own thoughts.  
\--  
I was wrapped up with Olivia on a plush couch, lounging with the kids and watching a movie. Our kids were older this time, practically adults now. They were complete opposites, like the sun and moon. He was all broad shoulders and bronze skin where she was pale and slender. She was lying across his lap and suddenly jolted up, though I was the only one who reacted.  
"Neil?"  
I sat up to look at her, "yes?"  
"Neil?" She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, "Neil!"  
I was suddenly pulled from my dream and was staring at Katrina. Staring into her shimmering eyes, one bright green, the other stormy blue.  
Her face was red and splotchy, tears pouring down like rivers. When she saw me, she collapsed, fingers twisting in my shirt as she sobbed into my chest. It took me a moment to get past my shock and lock my arms around her back.  
"Hey," I soothed, "what happened, pet? Talk to me."  
She sniffled a few times before whispering, "I'll do it."  
"What?"  
"I'll let Olivia in."  
I smiled and rested my cheek on the top of her head, "thank you...what changed your mind?"  
"You were right, nobody cares about me..."  
"I care, pet...I care."

Katrina's POV 

Nobody could come visit me this weekend. It was supposed to be Steve's turn since Billy had to work but he'd been called into work last minute, leaving me alone. Locked in this room in the basement by myself. Again. It's happened a few times now, but this time I'd convinced Riley to leave me my phone.  
Now it's three in the morning, and I've tried calling Billy and Steve multiple times. But they weren't answering, I was truly alone.  
"Will you please pick up the fucking phone?" I left another voice-mail on Billy's phone, barely holding myself together until I hung up.  
I curled into myself on the bed, hot tears stinging my cheeks and hard sobs wracking my chest. They really have given up on me. I'm just a problem to be sent away and locked up. Out of sight, out of mind.   
I made up my mind.  
I sank into the inner world that Neil and I shared, into the room with the fireplace. But he wasn't here.  
"Neil?" I yelled.  
Nothing. I started crying, calling for him again and again until finally, he was in front of me. The only one who was always there for me. I could do this for him, if it helped him the same way he helped me.  
"I'll do it."


	23. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil sees Olivia for the first time  
> There's a mention of blood, Neil is...Neil

Katrina's POV 

"Olivia," I smiled at her from across my room, "you're here."  
She regarded me softly and crossed to sit beside me, "of course, I would never leave you, my girl. What's happened? Is it gone? Whatever possessed you?"  
I shook my head, "no, he...he wants to see you."  
"Me? Why would he want me?"  
"Because...it's Neil."  
\--  
"Olivia," Neil breathed.  
She shone so brightly in his usually dark room, light seemed to radiate out from her. Her golden curls were down, loose around her shoulders. She turned from the fireplace to look at him, her eyes shining like jewels.   
I could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he stepped closer to her, "you're here..."  
"Neil," she whispered, her chin trembling.  
He closed the space between them and reached out to cup her face in his hand. A gasp left her lips and a shaking hand came up to hold his wrist. Olivia fell into him then, wrapping her arms around his back as he tucked her under his chin.  
"You're shaking," he murmured, "are you afraid?"  
"No...you don't scare me, Neil. Not anymore."  
He pressed his lips against the top of her head, mumbling, "no?"  
I could see how tense he was, how the tight grip he held Olivia with made his arm tremble. Could feel his fear, his pain.  
She shook her head, "no."  
"Well you scare me," he admitted.  
She tipped her head up, a mere breath away to look into his face. He slowly closed the space between them to kiss her gently; there were tears in his eyes when he pulled away.   
"Neil," Olivia whispered, "you need to let go, give Katrina back her life."  
He looked down, "I can't."  
"Can't? Or won't?"  
"I can't. We are one now, her and I. When I interrupted that spell, it connected us."  
"Why?" She asked, "why would you do that?"  
"Because of you," he murmured, "when I started following Katrina, she was just another person to haunt. But you, you made it different. I wanted to know why you liked her so much so I stuck around but...I wasn't myself. I was full of rage and pain, I lost myself. When she found the boy, everything got worse for me. Then when they did the spell that let you into her body, I took the opportunity to do the same."  
Olivia shook her head, "that wasn't the same, Neil. Our boy, our Billy...he needed me, he was so hurt, so angry and scared. Katrina wanted to bring him peace, she wanted to bring me peace and you took that away."  
"Liv," he breathed.  
"Why did you want me here, Neil?"  
He glanced away, his jaw working. I could feel our heart pounding, beating hard and fast against ribs.  
"I'm different, Olivia. Being tied to Katrina has brought me back. I'm me again," he looked up at her, a hopeful smile on his face, "we can be together again, my love."  
"What?"  
"We can be together like this, Olivia. We can be together here, tie yourself to the girl and be with me."  
She hesitated and I could feel hope bloom in his chest.  
"We can be happy again."  
She looked over at me quickly before answering.  
"No," she whispered, looking away.  
"No?"  
I felt the pang of hurt, the confusion backhanding him. I felt it all before his face fell.  
"Look at me, Olivia. Look at me and tell me you don't love me."  
"Of course I do," she murmured, looking back at him, "you know I love you."  
"Then we can be together. I love you, Olivia," he held her face gently.  
She stepped back from him, her voice wavering, "what is left in you to love?"  
Neil stared at her, shocked and hurt.  
"Being yourself now doesn't erase the years of hurt you caused. It doesn't erase the years of abuse to our son. It doesn't take away the bruises you left on our skin, the scars in our minds. I died because of you, Neil. You're a monster...Katrina doesn't want this."  
"She does. I can't do this without her acceptance."  
"You've manipulated her, like you manipulated me. Like you manipulated Susan."  
I saw the heartbreak on his face, felt it in my own chest, mixing with a cloud of rage. I wasn't sure where his heartbreak ended and mine started, it was all one, a jagged edged chasm splitting open to drag us down.  
"You make women believe you love them so you can get what you want, Neil. But you don't know how to love," Olivia's eyes flicked over to me, concerned, "Katrina, you can't. Elle-"  
With a flick of Neil's hand she was gone. Cast from my mind.  
"You knew," he growled, spinning to face me in the corner, "you knew it would end this way."  
"N-no, I didn't-"  
He was in front of me in a blink, his fingers tight on my jaw, "did you really think I was so weak that she could break my heart and I'd just leave?"  
"No," I whimpered, "I wanted-"  
His grip tightened, strong fingers digging into my face, "don't forget, pet. We are one, you and I. This is my body now."   
"Neil," I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks and rolling through his fingers, "please, you're hurting me."  
He scoffed and the room was cast into darkness. I felt him let go and I was instantly lost in the never ending black. Like I had been cast into nothingness.  
"Neil?" I cried.  
It echoed around me and I started to panic, screaming and pleading for him to come back, to save me from the nothing.  
I was curled into myself, sobbing, when Neil and the room came back. I couldn't help myself, I threw myself into him and sobbed into his chest. Clutched at him like he was my savior, a beacon of light to save me from the nothing.  
Neil stood there for a moment, letting me hold on to him before he pushed me away. Looked at me with cold eyes and turned away. I tried to follow but I was trapped, sealed in a glass coffin. He had trapped me inside my own mind.  
"This is my body now," he repeated.  
I screamed and sobbed, slammed my fists against the glass and thrashed but he was gone. I was alone in this now empty room, the flickering fireplace the only source of light.   
He wasn't coming back, not as long as he could help it.  
\--  
I don't know how long I was trapped in the coffin. Don't know how many days I spent screaming myself hoarse and bruising my hands against the glass before I gave up.  
I placed my hand weakly on the glass in front of me and tipped my head against it, resigned in my containment. Then, out of the dark came the dark version of myself I'd seen before. Face smeared with dirt and blood, hair dripping where it hung around her face. Black eyes peered at me, head cocked like she was curious. She came in close to the glass, her eyes never leaving mine.  
"You're going to die here," she whispered.  
SMACK  
Her hands hit the glass as she started to shriek. I pressed myself against the back of the coffin, screaming along with her. She didn't stop screaming and laughing, even when I stopped screaming and just curled into myself, crying. I wondered if Neil would ever come back, or if I would be stuck here forever. Forgotten and terrorized by this version of myself.

But he did come back. Walked up to the coffin and with a wave, it was gone, along with that version of myself. I fell into his arms, a fresh wave of tears streaming down my face.  
"Hush, pet," he soothed, running a gentle hand down my back, "I'm here now."  
"I, I thought I was trapped forever," I croaked, "with that...thing."  
"I lost my temper, but it's okay now. Everything's okay, I've got you."  
I tried to catch my breath but the relief I felt was overwhelming and had me gasping on air.  
"Enough," Neil snapped.  
I gasped, biting into my lip to try and stop my cries and looked up at him. His face softened as he gently pulled my lip from between my teeth and kissed my forehead.  
"I have a surprise for you."  
He led me away from the fireplace to another room that seemed to appear from nothing. Crisp white walls framed a huge baby pink bathtub. Every open space around it was filled with lush, green plants, climbing the walls and trailing from pots suspended in the air. It felt like home, where Olivia had encouraged me to turn my apartment into a jungle. I hope the boys are taking care of my plants.  
A pang in my chest. The boys, would I ever see them again? Or Ally, Olivia and Elle? Pudge? Would I ever be myself again?  
"I can hear you. Thinking of your life before."  
I looked at Neil, surprised, "what?"  
He tapped my temple, "there's no secrets between us here."  
"Right," I nodded.  
He smiled, moving his hand to my lower back to ease me forward, "don't be upset with me. I planned this just for you, don't you like it?"  
I looked at the bath, at the steam rising from it and the heaping pile of bubbles. Citrus wafted through the air, filling my senses. Too perfect to not be a hallucination my brain had made to distract me from still being in the coffin.  
"Is this real?" I asked.  
That smile again, "as real as you or I. No tricks, I promise."  
"Thank you," I murmured.   
He nodded and moved his hands to the hem of my shirt, curling his fingers around it. Soft, gentle hands slid up my sides, pulling my shirt with them. He undressed me silently, his touch soft and careful when he caressed curves.  
Neil took my hand and let me hold tight to him as I climbed into the tub, my body disappearing into bubbles. Then he kissed the back of my hand and turned to leave but I clung tight to his fingers.  
"Please," I whispered, "don't leave me alone again."  
He regarded me softly and came to sit on the edge of the tub. Sat quietly and combed sweet smelling shampoo and conditioner through my hair with gentle hands. When I was clean and relaxed, he grabbed my elbow, helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in a large fluffy towel.   
We walked back to the room with the fireplace, which had now changed to a bedroom. I glanced behind us and realized the bathroom had disappeared into darkness.   
"I want you to be comfortable here," he explained, "I'd like to avoid locking you up again."  
At my request, I was given a pair of soft shorts and a large tshirt to lounge in. I crawled into the bed, a wave of exhaustion taking over me.  
"Will you stay?" I asked.  
He hesitated for a moment before sitting on the bed next to me, his back up against the headboard.  
"I won't be here forever," he mumbled, "I have things I need to do."  
"I know," I whispered, "but just for a while?"  
"Of course, pet."


	24. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another shorter chapter. Some Steve and Riley cuteness. Things are taking a turn with Katrina

Steve's POV   
Mid July

I strode into Riley's Apothecary, a brown to go bag clutched in my hand. One of the other girls that ran the shop with Riley was out front dealing with customers. She looked up when the bell above the door chimed and smiled at me before holding up one finger. I nodded and took a seat in the pillow covered windowsill near the door until the girl had finished and the customers had left.   
She leaned on the counter with a sigh, "now what's a girl got to do to find herself someome like you? Shake down a leprechaun?"  
Tris had moved here from Louisiana when she was a teenager and had been Riley's best friend ever since. She had bleach blonde hair shaved close to her head, contrasting her dark skin and a thick twang. A sharp face and apparently a sharper tongue when you crossed her. I'd only ever seen this bright, happy side of her and I planned to keep it that way.  
I stood up, scratching the back of my neck as a blush heated my cheeks, "oh come on, we know I'm the lucky one here with a girl like Riley. Is she in the back?"  
Tris nodded, "she'll be happy to see you. Had a rough couple days, the poor thing."  
"Is it okay if I steal her for the afternoon?"  
"Bring me a coffee in the morning?"  
I smiled as I moved around her, "thanks, Tris. You're the best!"  
I found Riley in the back room, cursing as she hung up the phone.  
"Bad day?"  
She looked up at me, shocked, "Steve?"  
I held up the bag, "I brought grilled cheese, from the place you like."  
She stood up, a tired smile on her face and crossed the room quickly, "with fries?"  
I raised an eyebrow at her, "onion rings. I thought-"  
Riley's hand was gentle on my arm as she pulled us close together, "just testing you."  
I smirked and leaned down to kiss her softly.

"Thanks for bringing me lunch, Steve. I didn't even realize what day it was, I've been so busy. I haven't even been spending much time with Katrina, I feel so bad, she's just cooped up all the time by herself."  
I crumpled the napkin in my hand and tossed it in the garbage before standing up with a hand extended towards her.  
"Come on, let's take your mind off it for a while."  
"But the shop-"  
"Already taken care of," I assured, "I owe Tris breakfast tomorrow."  
Her shoulders relaxed as she let out a long breath, "thank you."

"So what's got you so down?" I glanced over at Riley as we walked down the street.  
She sighed, "we haven't found anything yet. The people we've reached out to either don't know anything or don't want to get involved. They act like Katrina's just...gone."  
"And what do you think?"  
She looked over at me, "I don't know...I mean, there has to be a way to get rid of Neil. We just haven't found it yet."  
I nodded slowly, "and what if there's not?"  
"She could die."  
\--  
"Steve, something's...off."  
I set down my coffee to hold my phone tighter and gave Billy a worried glance across his living room. Both our phones had multiple missed calls from Katrina last night, we'd tried to call back but there was no answer. We met up after work, trying to figure out when one of us could go to Salem for Katrina to make up for not being there this weekend.  
"Off how?" I asked, pressing speaker on my phone so Billy could hear too.  
"Katrina, she was so upset last night. Just, I knew she was really struggling but I had promised Tris...I should've stayed, I just was stressed and needed a night y'know? I left her phone with her but-"  
"Riley, what happened?" Billy demanded.  
She took a deep breath, "I don't know...she's, Steve, she's like a zombie."  
\--  
"Katrina? Hey, wake up," Billy snapped his fingers in front of her face.  
She didn't move, didn't flinch, just stared straight ahead with glassy, unfocused eyes.  
We had raced here after Riley's phone call, calling out of work for the next couple days as we urged the time to go by faster. It was almost dark by the time we got to Riley's house. I checked Katrina's vitals as soon as we got there, all normal. Everything seemed normal, except she was totally unresponsive. It was like the lights were on but nobody was home.  
"She's been like this all day?" I turned to look at Riley.  
Audrey walked into the room with a small glass of water, "yeah, we woke up and came to check on her and she was just..." she handed the glass to Billy, "here, tip her head back. Can't let her get dehydrated."  
He nodded, cradling the back of Katrina's head in one hand and pouring a small stream of water into her mouth. Her throat worked, swallowing the liquid, but she made no other movement.  
"What do you think happened?" He asked.  
Audrey shrugged, "she might have just...given up? Or someone we talked to said-"  
Riley cleared her throat, shaking her head at Audrey.  
"What?" I looked between them, "someone said what?"  
Riley chewed her lip for a moment before murmuring, "someone said best case is if he kills her she could end up brain dead."  
I choked, "that's the best case?"  
She nodded slowly, "worst case, he kills her and keeps control of her body."  
Billy grit his teeth, jaw clenching before standing up, growling, "there has to be something else, some way to get her back," and storming out of the room.  
\--  
Billy's POV 

"Mom, I don't know what to do. I can't let him take someone else I love."  
The metal of my Camaro was cool against my skin where I leaned against it. I tipped my head up to the sky, letting a curling plume of smoke out of my lips. Watched it dance in the air, slowly disappearing into nothing. Felt tears escape, trickling down my cheek.  
"I don't know how to help her, mom...maybe he was right, I am weak."  
I heard crunching steps on the gravel behind me and turned to see someone on the other side of my car. A girl with bright white hair stood, watching me.  
"I'm sorry," she smiled, "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop."  
I wiped the back of my hand across my cheek and looked down at the driveway, "it's okay, not like she can answer me anyway...it was stupid."  
She came around the car, leaning against it next to me, "your mom?"  
I nodded.  
"Did it make you feel better?"  
"Kind of."  
A kind smile pulled at her lips, "then it wasn't stupid, was it? She might not be able to talk back but she can hear you. She knows what you're going through."  
I smiled a little, "thanks.."  
She returned my smile and extended a hand to shake, "name's Tris."  
\--  
August

Steve was sitting on my couch, having finally given up and let Pudge attack his feet. Pudge was rolling around, growling and pawing at Steve's toes until finally he bit down on the sock and started to pull.  
"Why?" Steve huffed, pulling his foot back, "do you even know how many pairs of my socks you've destroyed?"  
I smirked, "he likes you."  
He rolled his eyes at me and was about to say something when his phone started ringing.  
"Hello?"  
He jolted to sit up, "seriously? When? ..fuck...I-okay, we'll figure it out."  
He hung up and looked at me.  
"What? What's going on?" I asked.  
Pudge managed to wrestle the sock off Steve's foot and trotted away to hide it.  
"Katrina's gone."


	25. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is struggling with the two sides of himself  
> T/w: blood, death, abuse

Neil's POV  
August  
I carried my son to bed, Olivia behind me with our daughter cradled in her arms. Spent my time tucking blankets under my sons little legs before kissing his curls and switching places with Olivia to do the same for our daughter.  
"Daddy," our little girl whispered, "did you check for him?"  
I smiled and ducked down to look under their beds. Nothing.  
"No twisted man," I soothed, "you're safe."  
She looked up at me, green eyes shining, "but what if he comes while I'm sleeping?"  
"Well, then I'll protect you, okay?" I smoothed my hand down her face, "I'll always protect you."  
"But what if I dream that you send us away, out into the dark and he takes the one I love and my heart breaks right in half and I can't feel anything happy?" Our girl asked, wide eyed.  
A memory flashed, of a girl opening her mouth to scream and choking on black rivers of blood. A single black bruise in the middle of her chest, a tombstone surrounded by bright flowers.  
I pressed a hand to my head, wincing.  
"And what if I dream he hates me?" I looked over at my boy, blue eyes shimmering, "and he start to hit mommy?"  
Another, of a boy clinging to his mother while she cried. Of purple finger prints on her skin.  
I looked over and noticed Olivia had gone still, completely frozen and vacant like a statue. She crackled, like static and then vanished. When I turned back to the kids they had grown up. My girl was sitting against the headboard, ghostly pale and shaking. One of her eyes had turned the same blue as mine. She lifted her hand from her stomach and revealed a growing patch of blood.  
"What if I dream you tried to kill me, daddy? You were bad and you hurt me?" She asked, her voice shuddering, "how will you protect me?"  
I watched as a knife drove itself into her tender flesh once, twice before she fell to the ground. Watched blood pooling around her.  
My mouth had gone dry, my jaw worked but no sound came out.  
My boy had deep purple bruises on his chin and around his eye and blood seeping from a split lip.   
"What if I dream that mom kills herself because of you? And you hate me even more and start to hit me? And you take everything from me until I want to kill myself too? How will you protect me then?"  
My Olivia, hitting the ground, blood flowing from the back of her head. A blood splatter on the sharp edge of the counter. Her eyes growing cold as she spent more time in bed. Her blood on my gun, on the walls, on my hands.  
My boy, growing up bloodied and battered, going from a crying boy to an angry teen. No emotions and a heart of steel to protect himself.   
Susan, my second chance at life, broken down by my hand. Her scared face as she handed me the keys that sealed our fate. Her scream cutting off as we hurtled into a tree.  
"Stop," I croaked, feeling tears prick and sweat bead.  
I grabbed my head in both hands, clutching hard as I tried to regain control.  
"What if we dream that you were the monster?" They asked in unison.  
"Neil? What...is this?"  
I whirled to look behind me at the door to their room where Katrina now stood. She looked confused and scared, staring at her mirror image in the bed. I shot up off the ground and grabbed her arm, panting as I tried to pull her away.   
She stood her ground, not budging from the door and murmured, "is that...me?"  
I turned back to look in the room, at the kids staring blankly at us, "Olivia...she always wanted a daughter. I never gave her one..."  
"You...why...why do you this to yourself?"  
"It's the only way I can still dream," I sighed.  
Kattina glanced over at me, an eyebrow cocked, "why is it so important for you to dream?"  
"Because, in here I can be happy."  
"This doesn't seem happy," she motioned at the kids.  
I looked at them, at my son's blank, bruised face, my daughter's blood stained hands.   
"This...has never happened before," I murmured, "we should go."  
Her face softened a little as she took in my disheveled appearance. She hummed gently and turned to leave the room with me.  
\--  
Getting out of that damn basement was easy. Wait for the little brown haired girl to open the door, knock her out, lock the door behind me and run. Easy.  
Finding my way back to that secluded cabin was a bit more difficult, but Katrina's pretty face got us close enough to walk the rest of the way.   
Lucky for me, the only person around was the grounds keeper. A man a bit older than I, and a decent bit larger than Katrina's frame. I had to be careful, had to press myself against the back of the house and wait to hear his whistling grow closer.  
WHACK.  
He choked on a noise, dead before he hit the ground. The way the axe was lodged in his head looked like something from a cheesy horror movie, not my preferred method, but it was what I found. I pulled the axe free, searched his pockets to find a wallet and a pack of cigarettes. Set them to the side and got to work hacking him into smaller pieces. Felt warm blood splattering my face. Tasted copper on my tongue and let a smile creep.  
I thought I felt Katrina watching when I threw the pieces into the wood stove attached to the cabin but she faded back into her mind quickly.   
Threw the last bloody limb into the fire and wiped a stained hand across my face before lighting a cigarette and inhaling with a deep sigh.  
\--  
I was running my hand through Olivia's golden locks as she lied on my chest. Relaxed in a plush white bed, naked limbs tangled together.  
"Mmm feels good," she murmured.  
I looked down, a smile on my face faltering when I saw black hair instead of blonde. Katrina shifted to look up at me, her bare skin pressing against mine.  
"Hello, pet," I sighed, "why are you here?"  
"I was lonely...and I had something to ask you."  
I hummed, pulling myself to sit up against the headboard, "go ahead."  
I grabbed a cigarette off the table beside me and lit it, inhaling deeply.  
"Are you actually able to smoke?" Katrina eyed the cigarette curiously.  
I waved my hand, "just habit. Was that really your question?"  
She shook her head.  
"We're not in Salem anymore, are we?"  
"No, we're not."  
"And you killed that man, didn't you? That wasn't just me dreaming?"  
I sucked on the cigarette, letting smoke billow past my lips when I muttered, "yes, I killed him. I imagine you think I'm a monster too?"  
"No," she murmured, sitting up next to me, "I don't think you're a monster. I used to, but now I think you're just sad and lonely. Broken."  
I turned my eyes away from her, my jaw clenching tight.  
"Why did you kill him?"  
"You've already asked more than one question," I grumbled.  
"Did you hurt Riley?"  
That was her name, the one I knocked out to make my escape. She'd have a lump on her head from the lamp I hit her with but I was careful, controlled.  
I looked back at the worried expression on her face and softened a little, "no, not seriously anyway. She'll be sore for a few days."  
She was quiet for a moment, settling back against my shoulder before murmuring, "if I show you something, would you kill someone for me?"  
"Why?"  
Her jaw clenched when she looked up at me, her eyes dark with anger, "he deserves it."


	26. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Katrina stalk someone. Theres a steamy bathtub scene and a sleezy club

Neil's POV 

"Bryce Torrance," I repeated, flipping quickly through the telephone book, "you sure?"  
"Yes," Katrina answered, the memories flashing through our head again.  
A young girl, naked and afraid in a strangers bed. His anger when she confronted him, the sneer on his face when he got away with what he'd done.  
It set my teeth on edge, what this fucker got away with. I scribbled down addresses and went to the door, stopping quickly to look at our reflection. I'd raided the man's closet after throwing Katrina's clothes in the wash, finding an oversized flannel and jeans that would work for now. Lifted up the shirt to inspect an angry red scab on our ribs.   
Old habits.  
I couldn't feel it and neither did Katrina, but I'd have to stop and get some medication and bandages so it doesn't reopen or get infected. Can't have her getting sick.  
\--  
We found him on the third try. Grown up now, with a white picket fence and a lovely little wife bouncing a child on her hip.  
"Fuck," Katrina growled, "we can't do this."  
I looked in the rear view mirror of the man's car from the cabin, made eye contact with Katrina.  
"Cold feet?"  
"He has a family, he's probably forgotten, made himself a better person."  
"Does that atone for his past, him being a father? Does what he did not matter because he's married?" My heart twinged, thinking of what Olivia had said to me.  
I knew Katrina was remembering what Olivia had told me too. I could feel the sadness mirrored in her heart.  
"No," she whispered.  
"I'll follow him."  
\--  
I followed him for three days, from home to work and then to this building until late at night. A dark building, with no signs advertising what was inside. I got out of the car and walked up to the door, keeping my head low until I got inside.  
A thick arm stuck out in front of me, barring my entrance.  
"You lost little girl?"  
I looked up to see a large bald man in front of me, dressed in an all black suit.   
"I...I'm looking for a friend," I smiled tightly.  
He grabbed my chin in his meaty hand, angling my face to look at our eyes, "interesting."  
I scowled and pulled myself out of his hand.  
"The boss will like those eyes," he smirked, "he'll be your friend. Give you a job too."  
I tried to object but he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me through the club.   
Inside was all black, with multi colored lights shining over stages and plush booths. A dead eyed girl twirled on a pole, extending herself out to grab a wad of cash from an older man. The song ended and she walked off the stage, slow like one would walk to their execution, and followed the man out of the room, behind a curtain.  
Bryce has to be here somewhere, behind one of the many curtains. I just need to lose the bouncer. He led me to the back of the club, into a room with a huge leather couch and a dark wooden table.  
"Boss'll be a couple minutes," he grunted, leaving me alone in the room.  
I could feel our heart starting to race.  
"I don't like this," Katrina whispered, "we shouldn't be here."  
"Relax. I can handle this."  
I only had a moment to look around the office before a man walked in.  
Bryce.   
"Evening, sweetheart," his voice was syrupy sweet, "word is you're looking for a job?"  
"That's him," Katrina urged.  
I nodded, "yes."  
He walked over to the desk, dropped down into the chair and studied me.  
"Well, no offense sweetheart, but you look like someone who's been sleeping in an alley, not exactly what we're going for here. We like our girls to look...irresistible, decadent...sinful."  
I grit my teeth before answering, "I just moved, all my clothes aren't here yet. I stumbled in here on accident."   
He leaned back, "well, which is it? Looking for a job or stumbled in here on accident?"  
"Both. I need a job, but I didn't come looking for this place."  
He laughed, "that sounds like fate to me. Tell you what, since you've got nice eyes," he pulled a handful of cash from a drawer and handed it to me, "buy yourself something pretty for me and come back tomorrow. We'll have...an interview."  
Katrina was screaming for me to kill him and run. To not come back.  
I extended a hand to him and smiled, "see you tomorrow."

"What the fuck?" Katrina yelled, "you had him!"  
I glanced up at the rear view mirror, "and I'll have him again tomorrow, but I'll be better prepared. Have to have a plan, pet."  
I felt her anger die down to a simmer when she grumbled, "fine."  
"Now, direct me to your house. We need some things."  
We slipped in and out Katrina's apartment without anyone noticing us. Retreated back down the staircase with a bag of clothes and things that Katrina had asked me to grab and bring back to the cabin. Slid back into our car and hunkered down when a blue car rumbled up and parked near the building.  
\--  
Katrina's POV 

The room with the giant pink tub was back. The spaces between the plants and around the tub were now filled with candles, casting a warm glow. Neil stood in front of me, a hand resting gently on my hip. The other came up to my face, his knuckles dragging softly across my cheek before cupping my face.  
"Take some time to relax. We need to be prepared for tomorrow," he spoke softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead.  
I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, into the hard plane of his chest under my hand and the feeling of his fingers sliding up under my shirt. I could feel his chest rising as he breathed, could feel our heart beating faster in our chest.   
If I let myself, I could easily forget my real life in exchange for this one. Stay here in a dream with Neil and not turn back.   
Neil gentled my pants down my legs, waiting for me to step out of them before slowly standing back up, trailing his nose along my skin. A hand wrapped into my hair, the other settling on my naked hip and holding me close. He paused, his face a mere breath from my own and looked into my eyes. Paused there like he expected me to turn away and kissed me when I didn't.   
Velvet lips pressed against mine, moved slowly and gentled my lips open. A sigh shared between lungs when our tongues met. I melted into him and felt his fingers tighten on my hip.  
"Olivia," he breathed against my lips.  
He froze instantly and pulled away, "I..shit, I should leave..."  
I clutched at his shirt, "no, stay...please."  
My hands twisted in his shirt, holding tight as I pleaded with him to stay.  
His face softened a little before pulling me into his chest. Strong arms wrapped around my back, holding me to him as he tucked his face against my head. He let out a sigh and nuzzled into my hair, shoulders slumping as he relaxed into the embrace. Stayed like that for a minute before he started to pull away.  
"Come on," he murmured, leading me towards the tub.  
Neil held my arm as I climbed into the tub, sinking down into the steamy water. Turned to leave once more but was stopped by me clinging tight to his arm.  
"Please, stay," I pleaded again.  
He looked at me softly and smiled, leaning down to kiss me again. I pulled at him, wanting to be as close as possible. Slipped one hand down to grab the hem of his jeans. He pulled away, just enough to look into my eyes.  
"Are you sure?"  
I smiled, breathless, "yes..I want you."  
He climbed into the bath with me, soaking his clothes and sending water splashing out over the side. Kissed me harder this time, exploring my mouth with his tongue. Captured my lip between his teeth and tugged, pulling a whine from my throat.  
"Neil," I panted, fingers curling under his shirt.  
He pulled back to remove the shirt and curled over me again, hesitating inches from my face.  
"Do you think I'm a bad man?" He asked, eyes darting away from me.  
I slid my hands up his sides, feeling the raised scars on top of hard muscle. His face dropped, shameful.  
"No," I whispered.  
He turned back to me, lip pulled tight to stop it from shaking.  
I lifted one hand to his cheek, watched him close him eyes and press into it.   
"I know you're not all bad. I know you're hurting," I soothed.  
I pulled to close the space between us, bringing his lips back to mine and threading my hand into his hair with a sigh.  
He kissed down my neck, nipping gently when I arched up into him. His hand smoothed over my hip to hitch my leg up to his waist before dipping lower to toy between my folds. A low hum against my throat when he slowly pressed a finger in. I moaned, writhing from his teasing, lifting my hips to meet his hand, begging for more.  
"Such a needy little thing, aren't you?" He teased, smirking when he lifted his head to look at me.  
I whined, stretching to try and recapture his lips. He leaned back, watching my gasps when he added a second and third finger. His hand moved slowly, just enough to keep me whining and needy. My hands shook as I fumbled to try and undo his pants.  
"Look at you," he cooed, coming forward to kiss down my jaw, "I've only just started and you're shaking."  
"Please," I begged, "I need you."  
He wasted no more time and pulled away to tug his pants off before curling back over me and flipping us so I could straddle his hips. Water sloshed with the movement of my hips, grinding against him.  
A coy smile when he grabbed my jaw in one hand, bringing me close for a kiss. Teeth sunk into my lip when he lined up and pulled me down. A breathless moan shared between us. My hand braced on his shoulder so I could ride him, rocking slowly. Neil's head tipped back against the tub, watching as I bounced.  
Fingers moved from my chin, up and past my lips. I stopped bouncing and closed my lips around his fingers, sucking and swirling my tongue. Coating him in my saliva and gagging when he pushed them deeper. He pulled his fingers away and slapped me with them, smearing spit across my cheek.  
I gasped and stared at him, shocked.  
"Did I say you could stop?" He growled, rutting his hips up sharply.  
"I'm sorry," I whined, starting to rock into him again.   
We chased our release. Pulling hair, scratching and clashing teeth like we were fighting to the death. I was careening towards my orgasm when a strong hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing tight. I wrapped a hand around his wrist, my eyes brimming with tears as I started to get light headed. His eyes took on a cruel glint the harder he squeezed, like he could easily suffocate me without a care in the world. My head was swimming, darkness creeping around the edges of my vision. I was barely aware of Neil licking tears from my cheeks as I struggled to pull his hand away. My body went taut when I came, a silent cry dying on my lips as I blacked out.  
I opened my eyes groggily to find myself leaning back against Neil's chest. Nuzzled into his wet skin with a sleepy moan.  
"Good morning, pet," he murmured, kissing my head gently, "how do you feel?"  
I hummed, sinking down into him, "good."  
He lifted a soapy hand, letting the bubbles drip off. I smiled and blew them off before grabbing his hand in mine. A breathy laugh when he buried his face into my shoulder.  
"Should we go to bed?"  
\--  
I woke up in the afternoon in full control of my body for the first time since being stabbed. No voice in my head, no feeling of Neil in the background. I got up and started exploring the cabin. It had been scrubbed and put back together after our last time here. No sign of what had happened. Unless you knew to look. Then you would find the stained wood floor under the new rug in the living room and the now mismatched lamps in the hall. You would see a long scratch across the living room window. All evidence of the horrible night we spent here.  
I searched the kitchen, pulling soup from the cupboard and putting it on the stove to heat up. Sprinkled hot chocolate powder into a mug and turned the kettle on.  
Took my bowl and mug and went out to the deck to eat. Sat there and enjoyed the fresh air while the afternoon tick by.


	27. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we delve more into Neil's past. Abuse, blood, gore, torture ahead

Neil's POV   
"Are you angry with me? We need to work together on this."  
She scowled in the mirror and adjusted the lacy black bra she was wearing. Made sure the small knife was tight in her garter and threw a slinky black dress over top.  
"I lost control, pet. For just a moment, but I didn't hurt you."  
"Ready. Let's go."  
I felt a red hot twinge of jealousy at the thought of her putting herself on display for someone else. A brewing anger at her avoidance of my question like an ember in my gut, ready to ignite.  
\--  
"Good, you came back," Bryce cooed from the door of his office.  
Katrina nodded, trying to keep calm, collected.  
He motioned for her to follow him and left the room. She hesitated for a moment, wiping sweaty palms on her dress.  
"It'll be okay, pet," I soothed, "I'm here to protect you."  
She took a steadying breath before following Bryce to a private room. An all black room with red lights around the border. A couple candles flickered around the walls. Bryce sat on the leather couch, legs spread wide.  
"Dance," he ordered.  
I felt fire crackle when Katrina faltered, "what?"  
He adjusted, "you want to work here, right? This is a club, with dancers. So move."  
"Right," she nodded, wiping her hands again.  
Bryce got up and went to a cabinet, pulling out a glass and pouring something in it before handing it to Katrina.  
"Here, some liquid courage," he smiled.  
I wanted to rip his throat out, feel the blood gush between my teeth as he gurgle on the ground. I could feel myself slipping, vision swimming as I started to give in to that part of me but was interrupted by fiery liquid being swallowed down. Katrina shivered, set the glass down and pulled her dress off. Bryce was in front of her, licking his lips when he offered her another drink. It set me on edge, the way he looked at her. Like fresh meat to be devoured.  
"Is that a knife?" He asked, trailing a hand down her thigh.  
"Part of my routine."  
"Don't," I whispered, "don't drink that."  
She grit her teeth, smiled at him and tipped the drink back.   
"Good girl," he praised, taking his seat on the couch again.  
Music poured through the speakers, a dark and sultry song for Katrina to get lost in. She started dancing for him, rolling her hips slowly, letting him take in her body.  
\--  
I was back in the war. Could feel my lip split and dripping down my chin, could hear it hit the floor.  
"Kill him," they ordered.  
We'd only been captured for a few days. Willingly went into enemy territory with the intent of becoming prisoners so we could gather Intel.   
But "anything for this mission" has it's limits.  
I looked down at my brother kneeling on the floor, bathed in red light. His face had been broken in, turned black by their fists and boots. They had to hold his head up to face me. Bloody spit poured from his open mouth. He was barely conscious, eyes fluttering as he tried to gasp for breath.  
A knife glinted in the light when it was brought to his eye.  
"Kill him," they said again.  
The small knife in my hand felt so heavy, like it was dragging me down. I couldn't move it. Their knife plunged into his eye, making him scream out and writhe in their arms. I turned my head away, shutting my eyes to the horror in front of me.   
One of the men grabbed my chin in his hand, forcing me to look back at my brother, sobbing on the floor. They grabbed his hair and lifted his head off the floor.  
"Kill him."  
"N-neil," he choked, "p-please."  
"I'm sorry," I whispered.  
I met his one good eye, clenched my jaw and swung the blade across his throat. Blood sprayed onto me, filling my senses. He gurgled and fell to the ground with a sigh.  
I looked back at the man who had grabbed me and found him staring at me with cold eyes.  
"You are weak," he sneered before leaving.  
\--  
Katrina crawled towards Bryce, made a show of flipping her hair back and pushing her chest out. Bryce shifted on the couch, practically drooling as he watched.  
"What's going on?" She whispered when she turned her face away from Bryce.  
Her body felt sluggish, slow when she tried to move. I struggled to stay focused, to keep myself here where I can protect her.  
"I-I can't.."  
\--  
Strong hands dragged me from my cell, to another room where my wrists were tied to a beam. I was pushed to my knees, my face scraping the wooden beam. My heart raced as I knelt there, waiting for something, anything, to happen. I tried not to flinch when someone touched my bare shoulder.  
Hot breath in my ear when someone growled, "you are weak. Pathetic. Disgusting."  
"Kill him," came the order.  
I looked up into another of my brother's faces, his round cheeks shining with tears. Sam. His hands shook when they forced a knife into his grasp.  
"I can't," he whimpered.  
I couldn't see what they were doing but I could see the horror on Sam's face, the pity. I hissed when a finger prodded at the healing cut along my ribs.   
For Frank.  
I screamed, thrashing against the beam when a piece of red hot iron struck my side. Blood pounded in my ears and my head swam.  
"Fuck!" I roared, "fuck you!"  
They branded my sides and my shoulders, cooking my skin until I was violently shaking. Until I stopped screaming and started pleading.  
Sam still couldn't do it, not even when I begged him to kill me. My hands were cut free and the knife was placed in my shaking fingers.  
"He did this to you," they pointed at Sam, who was being held on his knees now, "he could have ended your suffering but he is weak."  
I met Sam's watery eyes and hoped that he knew this wasn't his fault. That only one of us was ever going to leave this room.  
"Show us you're not as weak as he is. Kill him. End this."  
"I'm sorry," Sam whispered, holding his head up.  
I swayed on my feet as his blood gushed, fell to the ground next to him and let darkness take me.  
\--  
Katrina groaned, holding a hand to her head.  
"Something's wrong."  
Bryce smirked, "good, the drugs are kicking in."  
Her face scrunched when she looked back at him, "what?"  
He stood up from the couch, lighting a cigarette as he did, "the new girls usually drop faster, I was starting to wonder if I gave you enough."  
She scrambled to the door, pulling on the handle only to be stopped by a large man on the other side.  
Bryce laughed, "you think I'd just let you out of here?"  
"Neil," she whimpered.  
\--  
"Why are you here?" They yelled.  
I gasped for breath under the wet rag covering my face. Struggled against the binds holding ne to the table. We'd just been captured in enemy territory and brought inside. We knew we'd be interrogated and tortured, but knowing doesn't prepare you for it actually happening.  
Water poured over my face again, suffocating. I sputtered and choked, trying to plead with them. The water stopped.  
"Why are you here?"  
"T-to join you!" I coughed.  
They grabbed one of my hands and stretched my fingers out.  
"You work for the Americans?"  
"No, no I swear. I don't," I pleaded.  
My begging turned to screaming when they ripped my fingernail off. They quieted me by dumping more water over my face.   
"Please, I s-swear, I don't. I came to j-join you," I stammered, shaking on the table.  
Another fingernail ripped from my skin and more water splashed over the rag.  
"All of you came to try and join us?"  
"Yes! We left them, please!"  
One of the men hummed before announcing, "we will keep one."  
\--  
"Neil," Katrina begged.  
Bryce smirked, "maybe I gave you too much, that's not my name sweetheart."  
He closed in on her, pinning her to the wall.  
Her breath hitched when tears started to fall.  
"I told you not to drink that," I growled.  
"Please," she cried, "help me."  
"You should have listened to me, pet."  
"I'm sorry," she whimpered.  
"Who are you talking to?"  
I grabbed the knife from Katrina's leg and spun it towards Bryce's throat, letting rage consume as I pushed him back to the couch. He looked at me, confused as I dropped down onto his legs.  
"What the fuck is-"  
He was interrupted by me punching him.  
"Shut up," I ordered.  
He gulped, "who are you? What do you want?"  
"I want you dead," I growled.  
"Please, I have a family. I have money, I can pay you whatever you want."  
"Shut up!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulders and slamming him back.  
Candles wobbled and fell, rolling along the wall.  
His eyes were wide with fear, "please, what do you want?"  
"Open your mouth," I ordered, lifting the knife to his lips.  
He obeyed, barely, his lips wobbling against the blade.  
"Wider."  
I stuck the blade into his mouth and used my other hand to grab his hair and pull his head back.  
"You are a piece of shit," I growled, "taking these girls like you're owed something. Was she your first? Ally?"  
His eyes flicked to mine and he whimpered.  
"You ruined her life. Took everything from her because you wanted to. She died because of you. Now you walk around playing house with your wife and baby," his eyes widened, "oh yeah, I know about them. You walk around playing the good guy but you're disgusting. Does your wife know how you treat women? I wonder how she'll react to your death.."  
He tried to shake his head and I pulled the knife out of his mouth to drag it across his cheek, leaving a trail of blood as I sliced into his skin.  
"Please, she doesn't know. She can't. It would ruin her. I tried to be good after Ally, I did, but I can't stop. Please, I have a baby, I'll change."  
Smoke was filling the room around us, flames licked high along the walls.  
"I would have liked to draw this out, make you suffer, but it seems I don't have the luxury," I growled.  
"If you kill me, you'll die in here too," he tried, "they won't let you leave here."  
I scoffed and slit his throat in a quick motion, letting his blood spray over me. I licked my lips and pushed him over, into the flames.  
The man guarding the door came into the room, concerned by the smoke starting to billow under the door.   
"What the," he started, running to drag Bryce from the fire.  
I pushed past him, fleeing from the growing flame behind me and just made it to the main room before Katrina's body fell to the drugs and smoke. We hit the ground hard, choking on smoke as everything went black and I was once again thrust into memories.  
\--  
I don't know how long I've been in here, there's no window to track the days and I'm in so much pain I can barely sleep. There's been no meals brought down to signal the time.  
My hands and feet are shackled together, not like I could move anyway. I just lie here, imagining what my life with Olivia would be like. Kids, a house with enough space for a dog, delicious food in the kitchen. I started coughing and winced, it felt like my lungs had been shredded.  
Eventually two men came and opened the door, disgusted looks on their faces when they saw me shivering and curled in on myself.  
"He won't survive it," one of them said, "he's too weak."  
"Please," I groaned, "please...so hungry."  
One of them came and lifted me to sit against the wall, "you won't last, we won't waste food on someone so weak."  
"Please...I'm not.." I started coughing again and tipped my head back against the cool wall, "please."  
"You have to earn your food. It will be excruciating...We could just end your suffering."  
"I can take it," I pleaded, delirious, "I can do it."  
"Bring him to her."  
\--  
"Do you have family, Pet?" The lady cooed, dragging her knuckles softly down my face.  
My whole body hurt. From the tips of my fingers where I was missing nails to my wrists that had been rubbed raw by restraints. My arms that ached from being tied to the ceiling, that burned from my weight pulling on them. The brands on my shoulders and sides burned with every movement, every breath. My lips stung where they had been split open and my throat was raw from screaming. My lungs felt like they were full of razors, every breath ragged, every cough excruciating. My brow was covered in sweat and I couldn't stop shivering.   
I struggled to nod, only for her to slap my cheek sharply.  
"I asked you a question. Do you have a family?"  
"Yes," I rasped.  
She picked up a cigarette off the table in the room, flicked the ash off and looked at me.  
"Tell me about them."  
I swallowed thickly, wincing when it felt like I was swallowing glass.  
She ground the cigarette into my collarbone, her other hand holding my cheek softly when I cried out.  
"Tell me about your family, Pet, and I'll make sure you get treatment for that infection in your lungs."  
"I have a wife, Olivia," I panted, "she's pregnant. We got married right before I left."  
"What does she look like?"  
I coughed, hard, and groaned in pain before answering, "she's blonde. Green eyes...beautiful."  
She smiled and patted my cheek, "do you want to see her again?"  
"Yes."  
"Be a good boy then, Pet. Be stronger than the rest and you'll see her again."  
She turned away and brought a slice of bread in front of my face, "are you hungry?"  
"Yes," I croaked.  
"What will you do for this?"  
"Anything."  
She smiled and pressed her fingers to my burns, pushing hard until I cried out.   
"Now say, thank you Mistress," she ordered.  
"Thank you Mistress," I murmured.  
She tore off a small piece of the bread and fed it to me, repeating the process until the bread was gone.  
\--  
"Do you know how much blood a person can lose before they die, Pet?"  
I shivered when the tip of her blade slid along my skin and shook my head, "no, I don't."  
"Forty percent. Not even half," she mused, pressing the knife lightly into the skin above my navel, "of course, how quickly you lose the forty percent is the real trick. See, I could gut you right now but you'd die too quickly and I want to keep you."  
I swallowed, trying to keep myself calm. She reached out and grabbed one of my hands, pulling it close to her and bent one of my fingers quickly, snapping it. My knees buckled and I hit the ground screaming.  
"Thank you for keeping me alive, Mistress," she cooed.  
"Thank you," I gasped, "thank you for keeping me alive, Mistress."  
She smiled, letting go of my hand to smooth her fingers over my head and knelt down to kiss my cheek, "good boy."  
Her hand came down to feel the jagged marks on my ribs, "these are for your teammates, right? You've killed five of them?"  
"Yes Mistress."  
"You're almost at the end, Pet. Soon you'll be allowed to join us. It'll get worse before it gets better but you're stronger than the rest, right?"  
"Yes Mistress."  
She smiled, held me tight with her hand and slowly, agonizingly slowly, slid the knife into the skin near my hip. I gasped, grabbing her arms tight. She shushed me, softly petting my side.  
"I know it hurts," she murmured, "but you're strong. You can take it. I want you alive, remember that."   
The knife slid free from my skin, clattering to the ground so she could press her hand against the wound. I trembled in her grip, whimpering when she ground the heel of her hand against me. Gentle fingers wiped tears from my face.  
"You scream so pretty, will you do it again for me?"  
I looked up at her, panting, shaking, hoping for a moment of mercy. Her fingers pressed past my skin, digging into muscle.  
She smiled when I started screaming.  
\--  
The last of my brothers stood trembling in front of me. The knife in his hand shook against my throat.  
This was my punishment for flinching when Mistress touched my healing wounds. Jack would get the choice first, kill or be killed.  
"He is weak, pathetic, kill him," they ordered.  
I stared straight at Jack, "do it."  
"What have they done to you?" He murmured.  
"Kill him!"  
Jack's hand slid down, "I can't.."  
"Do it!" I yelled, "I'm weak! Do it!"  
He shook his head, dropping his hand away from me. I reached out quickly, took the knife from his hand and slit his throat. He grabbed at the wound, surprised and fell to the ground choking.  
I stared at him, watching the blood pool and spread until I was led away.  
\--  
Cold water splashed over me, jolting me awake. Two men grabbed my arms, hauling me up to take me away. They brought me to a bare room where she stood waiting and tossed me to the floor. I groaned, rolling to my knees.  
She squatted down to my level, "they're so rough with you, aren't they?"  
"Yes Mistress," I rasped.  
She extended her hand out, waiting for me to crawl forward to take it so she could help me stand.  
"You're at the end now, Pet. Today will try to break you but you're strong, right?"  
"Yes Mistress."  
"Good boy."  
She smiled, kissed my cheek and walked to a table, returning with a bucket. Pulled a rag from it and started to clean me with the frigid water. I stood still, other than a slight tremble, stared straight at her and didn't flinch when she scrubbed at the scabs on my skin.  
"You'll make me proud today, right? Prove that I made the right choice keeping you?"  
"Yes. Thank you Mistress."  
She finished cleaning me and brought me to a chair, where I was strapped in and left alone in the dim light. I looked up when the door opened to see a man walking behind Mistress with a jar in his hands.  
She leaned down in front of me, putting her face inches from mine, "this will hurt. But make it through this and you might see your wife again. You want that, right?"  
"Yes Mistress."  
She stepped away and motioned at the man to come forward. He stepped up in front of me and pulled a centipede from the jar. It thrashed in his fingers. It reminded me of myself at the beginning of all this, just another prisoner here. I looked up at Mistress who just looked at me with calm, cool eyes. I stayed looking at her as the man moved the centipede to my ear. I whimpered when I felt it's legs touch me but she shushed me gently and nodded at him. He guided it forward, into my ear and taped a cloth to keep it there. Then they left me there, thrashing and screaming.  
They returned when I had stopped screaming. When I was shaking and numb to the pain in my ear. When I had started to laugh. I could feel hot, sticky blood dripping down my neck, covering the side of my body. The man removed the cloth and put the centipede back in the jar before leaving. I tried to lift my head to look at Mistress, but it dropped back down to my chest. She knelt down, took my chin in her hand and forced me to look at her.  
"I have one more task for you. We captured another American, kill them and be free."  
"Thank you Mistress."  
\--  
A person with a bag over their face was placed in front of me. They were panicking, their breath coming in short gasps, slender shoulders shaking.  
"Pet," Mistress rested her hand softly on my shoulder, "I want you to use this girl as practice. I want you to take what you've endured and make her suffer. If you can't do that your training will start over, do you understand?"  
"Yes Mistress."  
The girl whimpered, shaking her head before being dragged over to a table and strapped down. I followed, ripping the bag off her head once they stepped away and revealed Olivia lying on the table. Face black and swollen, but behind all the grime I could see blonde hair and green eyes. She was crying, the sound muffled by a gag in her mouth.  
"Who do you see, Neil?"  
"Olivia," I muttered.  
She came up behind me, wrapping a hand around my ribs, her fingers tracing scars and spoke into ny good ear.  
"Will you sacrifice yourself for her?"  
I looked at the girl and felt nothing. Just emptiness.   
"No Mistress."  
"Good boy," she praised, planting a gentle kiss at the side of my mouth, "now. Play with her for as long as you want. A gift, from me."  
"Thank you Mistress."  
She motioned to the men and they left me there, staring at Olivia on the table.  
"I'm going to break you," I murmured, running my fingers over the tools laid out next to her.  
I removed her gag and started with fingers, pulling the nails off and then smashing a hammer down on the bones. Her screams echoed around me, filling the room. I lifted her face up close to me, using my hand to hold her jaw as I slid a pair of pliers into her mouth. The sounds when I pulled one of her teeth, the tearing of flesh, her choking screams. Beautiful.  
"I know it hurts," I soothed, running a thumb over her dirty cheek, smearing it with blood, "but you're so pretty when you cry."  
She started to fade out of consciousness after stabbing with a red hot blade. Her skin sizzled around the knife, cooking. The smell filled my nose. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her body was trembling. I was running out of time. I brought the hammer down on her, smashing joints and breaking bones until she stopped screaming, stopped crying. She was struggling to breathe, her chest barely moving with quick, shallow breaths. I picked up a knife and slashed her throat.  
I spent six months training for this mission, three months being broken and was rescued after two months of torturing others. Laid in a hospital for another month while I healed and was finally discharged from service. Deemed unstable and sent home.


	28. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more abuse, blood, death, some smut at the end

Katrina's POV 

I was at my house in Chicago, just outside the front door of the house I shared with Elle. I stepped over the threshold and froze. Elle was there, right in front of me in a beautiful white gown with a jean jacket slung over her shoulders. Her hair hung in loose curls around her face that swung so gently when she turned to see me, a smile stretching.  
She reached out a hand, her familiar twang music to my ears, "you look beautiful, Katie."  
I looked down at myself and saw myself in the dress I had picked for our wedding. White with a lacey, see through top, completed by a leather jacket.  
I choked on a sob when I touched her fingers and let myself be pulled into her arms. She hugged me tight, both of us clinging to the other.  
"I missed you," she whispered, "so much."  
I nuzzled into her shoulder, my voice wavering when I murmured, "I missed you, Ellie."  
Elle squeezed me harder when my shoulders started to shake from crying. She held me tight until I started to calm down.  
"Please don't leave me again," I murmured.  
"I can't be around when he is, he won't let us near you," she pulled back to look at me, "Katie...he's bad news."  
I glanced away, sighing, "he's trying...and I can't do anything about it...he's connected to me now."  
She touched my face, drawing me to look back at her, "you can fight him. Stop him from dragging you further down. Killing people isn't you."  
"That guy killed Ally, he drugged the girls who worked for him, he drugged me."  
"What about the man at the cabin?"  
"That wasn't me, Elle, I didn't even know."  
She just arched an eyebrow at me, giving me an 'I told you so' look.  
"Katrina, I know things have been hard but I don't want you to throw your life away for a dead man. I want you to live your life, go back home to your friends...get married one day."  
I softly ran a hand over the smooth fabric of her dress, the dress she should have had a chance to wear, "I don't know if I can love someone else the way I love you."  
She smiled, "of course not. Every person is different, you can't love two people the exact same. But you'll love again."  
My eyes watered again when I whispered, "what if I don't want to? You were it for me..."  
"Oh, Katie," she murmured, pulling me back into an embrace, "you can't live your life with a ghost."  
My hands twisted in the fabric of her jean jacket, clenched so hard they shook, "I love you, Ellie. There's not a day that will go by where I won't think of you."  
"Good," she puffed, her voice wavering, "I love you, Katie. I hope that we meet in another life so I can love you then too. But don't give up on this life, okay? You promise-"  
My arms hit my chest when she disappeared and I opened my eyes to find myself in that room with the pink tub.  
"Elle? Ellie? Elle! I promise!" I yelled.  
"Promis what?" Neil's cold voice came from behind me.  
"Neil," I breathed, turning my head to see him glaring behind me.  
He grabbed me, his hand twisting painfully in my hair, shoved me down to my knees and forced my head under the water in the tub.  
I screamed and thrashed, splashing water down all around me. Slapped and scratched at his arm, trying to get him to release me.  
I was gasping and choking when he pulled my head above water just long enough to yell at me.  
"You're mine!"  
Dunk  
"I want you," dunk, "to be my wife!" He raged.  
I was crying everytime he brought me above water, scared that I wouldn't be able to get through to him.  
"You're mine, Olivia!"  
Dunk  
"Mine!"  
He has no idea where he is, he's going to kill me.  
"Neil!" I screamed, "please!"  
Dunk  
He held me down longer this time, until I could feel darkness crawling in and my hands fell from his arm, but pulled me out just before I blacked out. He was panting, his arm trembling as he held my face above the water to let me cough up water.  
"I'm not her," I pleaded, "I'm not Olivia!"  
He froze, holding me still for a moment before letting me slump against the side of the tub. I turned, still trying to catch my breath and looked at his face. He looked horrified, staring at his hands like they didn't belong to him for a second before glancing at me, eyes watering.  
"I...Katrina..." he mumbled, collapsing to the floor.  
I reached out, slowly slipping my fingers over his.  
"You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you?" He asked.  
"What? Neil-"  
"That's what you two were talking about, right? That you should get rid of me?"  
"No, that's not it."  
I could feel the hurt spreading through his chest, the anger simmering, "I'm trying to be good. For you. And this is how you repay me? Do you not care?"  
"I care!"   
He was quiet, a turmoil of emotion brewing in his chest. I could feel it growing and growing until suddenly there was nothing. He stood up, pulling me with him and crowded close to me, his face a breath away from mine. Warm hands holding my face so gently.  
"Do you love me, pet?"  
"Yes," I whispered.  
He kissed me softly and pulled away with a smirk. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion until he pulled away and I realized I was now in a cage in the room with the fireplace.   
"No, Neil, please. Please don't lock me in here again," I pleaded.  
He smiled and leaned in close to the bars, "hush, pet. Be nice and quiet or I'll get rid of you."  
"You'll...what?"  
"You want to know how to get rid of me? You can't," he ran the back of his knuckles down my cheek, "I could kill you right now and take over your body if I wanted to, but I like you. I want to keep you alive."  
A cold sweat spread over my body as I stared at him. When I said nothing, he grabbed my chin, bruising the skin and making me cry out.  
"Thank you for keeping me alive," he growled.  
"Thank you," I whimpered, "thank you for keeping me alive."  
\--  
Billy's POV 

Steve had asked to be called in to the hospital anytime someone was being admitted matching Katrina's description. He was always on alert, jumping every time one of our phones went off and never going far from his apartment. Riley had stayed in Salem with her sisters and Tris, all of them trying to find a way to help Katrina. If we ever find her.  
There was a knock at the door, making both of us jump. Steve ran to open it, revealing Riley and Tris on the other side.  
"Riley?"  
"Hey," she smiled, "we have some news."  
They already had Tris's aunt on a video chat and crowded around Steve's coffee table with us to listen to her.   
"What do we do, auntie?"  
"Do you know where your friend is?"  
I shook my head, "no, we haven't found her yet."  
"Did you report her missing?"  
"Not yet," Steve answered, "we weren't sure what to do."  
"Well, you'll want to report her missing soon. The more people looking for her, the better. It sounds like whoever has possessed her is an awful man," I clenched my jaw tight, "a demon in a humans body is unstable. He could lash out and kill her without intending to."  
Steve's phone rang and he ran out of the living room to answer it.  
Riley watched him leave as she talked to Tris's aunt, "which would either kill them both as her brain dies or he'd take her body as his own. But what can we do when we find her?"  
Steve came back, speaking at the same time as Tris's aunt.  
"I think they found her."  
"You have to kill her."  
\--  
We were allowed in to see Katrina the next day, after the doctors had her settled. She'd been brought in with a group of people that had all been caught in a fire at a seedy club downtown. Girls hooked on drugs and rich old men with smoke inhalation and minor burns. Steve told me only two people had died, the owner and his henchman, even though the building had gone up in an inferno. Briefly, I wondered if someone had been protecting everyone else inside. I imagined my mom protecting all those girls, like some kind of superhero and smiled.  
There was a string of girls coming through Katrina's room while I was there, coming in to see if she was okay and to tell me to thank her when she woke up. A couple of them cried and told me she had saved their life, that the owner would have sooner had them killed than let them go. That they hadn't seen their families in years because of him. Some were quiet, just came in and gave Katrina's hand a gentle squeeze and left again.  
Katrina woke up the next day, but she was just as lifeless as the last time I saw her in the triplets basement. Unresponsive and staring into nothing. Police had gotten the stories of everyone as they left and tried to talk to her but got nothing, the doctors called it shock. Steve and I knew different. They released her into our care, only because Steve knew how to take care of her, and let us take her back home.   
\--  
Katrina's POV 

I was in the forest, in a clearing surrounded by thick woods. Around me laid bloody bodies. Steve, Audrey and Brook all crumpled on the ground, the ground around them soaked with blood. Riley stood with her back to me but I could hear her crying, pleading for her attacker to stop.  
"Riley!" I yelled, running around to face her.  
"Katrina, please," she begged, "you can stop this."  
I stopped in my tracks, seeing myself staring at her with a knife in my hand. The twisted version of me, dirty and bloody with black eyes. It pounced on Riley, knocking her to the ground and stabbing her. A smile stretched when it heard her choking. It got up and left her there, coughing up blood and dying on the ground. I ran forward, falling to my knees next to Riley and tried to press my hands down on the wound but they went right through her.   
"Riley," I sobbed, trying over and over again to press my hands against the wound, "Riley, hang on, it's gunna be okay."  
She gurgled and stilled, blood still flowing around her.  
"No," I pleaded, "no, Riley, it's okay, you're okay. Wake up, please-"  
"Katrina, wake up, please!"  
My head snapped up at Billy's voice. I saw him across the clearing, standing in front of the other me, his cheeks shining with tears.  
"There is no Katrina," it growled, the blade at Billy's throat glinting.  
"No!" I screamed, trying to run forward.   
It moved before I'd even taken five steps, it's arm sweeping out. Billy's hands flew up to his throat, his face shocked as blood started to flow through his fingers.   
I fell to my knees, wailing in the dirt as I watched the life leave his body. The other me howled with laughter, louder and louder, covering my screams until it suddenly stopped.  
A gentle hand grabbed my shoulder and I turned to see Neil crouching next to me. I drooped forward into his chest, letting his strong arms lock around my back.  
"Quiet now, pet. I'm here," he soothed.  
I shuddered, unable to catch my breath through my sobs.  
"Focus, breathe. With me."  
He took slow, deep breaths, his chest rising and falling against my cheek. I inhaled his cologne, letting it fill my senses as my breathing slowed.  
"Good," he murmured against my hair, "just relax. The more we work together, the less you fight me, the more we can control ourselves. If we fight, we'll lose control and end up doing something like this. And we don't want that, do we?"  
"No," I whispered, "I'll be good."  
\--  
"Good morning, pet," Neil said as he approached the bars of my cage.  
"Neil," I breathed, coming to cling to the cool metal, "you came back."  
"Of course," he smirked, "did you miss me?"  
I looked up at him with watery eyes, "yes...will you stay with me? Just for a little?"  
His face softened, "of course."  
The cage disappeared and he closed in, holding me to him. He walked us backwards, tipping us back to lay across a bed. I curled into him, enjoying this brief kindness.  
"I hate having to lock you away," he mumbled, "I want us to live together happily."  
I said nothing, just pressed closer to him.  
"You know why I'm this way, don't you? You could see the flashbacks?"  
I nodded.  
"Then you know that it's not my fault. I was never like this before...I just get so angry...and seeing you flaunt yourself for someone else..I-"   
"Neil," I murmured, rolling on top of him so my lips brushed his, "can we do something else? Please?"  
He hummed and pressed up to kiss me, his hands trailing down my sides to grab my hips.  
I let him take control. I let him take everything, my pride, my body, I gave it all.  
I rode him until my legs quaked and the only thing holding me up was his hand against my throat. He pushed my face down into the bed, the soft blankets soaking up my tears as he took me from behind, his hips snapping harshly into my skin. Roaming hands burned and left bruises where he grabbed too hard. Twisted in my hair to yank my head back and bite down my neck.  
"You're mine," he growled.  
\--  
I woke up in my own body again and let out a choked sob. Someone stirred beside me and I turned my head to see that I was in Steve's apartment with Riley reading in a chair beside the bed.  
She looked up and gasped, "oh my God! Katrina? Is that you?"  
Tears slipped down my cheeks when I nodded and she scrambled forward to hug me.  
"Riley, are you, are you okay?"  
She squeezed me tight, "of course, just had a bump on my head for a few days, Steve babied me until it went away," she laughed.  
"Is he here?"  
She pulled out of the hug, leaving her hands on my shoulders, "he's at work but Billy is just in the living room. I'll go get him, he's gunna be so happy!"  
She ran out of the room and returned a moment later with Billy who crowded in to hug me. Over his shoulder, I saw Riley stand in the doorway for a second before leaving us alone.  
"Holy shit. I was starting to think the worst," he murmured into my shoulder.  
I broke, clinging there to him, and started to sob, "I thought you gave up on me."  
"Hey," he soothed, "we would never, don't you know that?"  
"I'm scared, Billy," I cried.  
"Why? What's going on?"  
I took a shuddering breath, trying to calm myself enough to talk.  
"Neil, he..he gets so angry. It's like a switch, one second he's fine and the next he's..."   
I could feel Billy's jaw clenching against my head, his fingers tightening on my back.  
"When he's like that...he scares me. He..tries to hurt me...he could get rid of me, take over for good."  
"Oh, Katrina," he sighed, nuzzling his head into mine, "I'm sorry...I have bad news."  
I pulled back to look up at him, "what, did I hurt someone?"  
"No. We found someone who knew how to get rid of Neil.."  
"Well that's good news, right?"  
He glanced away from me, "no, it's not. Katrina, the only way to get rid of him...is to kill you."


	29. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil confronts Billy

Billy's POV 

"Kill me? That's it? Either he kills me or you do?"  
"Yeah," I sighed, "that's all we've got but-"  
"Then do it," she interrupted.  
"What?"  
"Kill me! Just do it!" She yelled.  
"Katrina, I-"  
She grabbed my hands to bring them up to her throat, "go ahead! Kill me!"  
"Katrina, stop! I can't do that!" I yelled back, trying to pull my hands away.  
"I'm asking you to kill me!" She screamed, tears streaming.  
"I can't!" I ripped my hands away just as Riley burst through the door.  
"What-"  
"Riley!" Katrina ran over and grabbed her shoulders, "you need to kill me."  
Riley froze, scared and confused.  
"Please," Katrina begged, "please, you don't understand. You have to. You're not safe, none of you are safe. Please, you have to...you have to do it, don't let him.."  
Riley's hands started to shake, her lip trembling as she struggled to find words.  
"Katrina," I stepped to try to pull her away from Riley and ended up lurching to catch her before she collapsed to the ground.

Neil's POV 

I yanked Katrina back into my world after listening to her pleading with Riley. Anger flashed, white hot in my gut. After everything, all that I've given, her betrayal was a knife in my spine.  
She was in the glass coffin, screaming and thrashing. Fighting. Too loud.  
"Shut up!" I roared, clutching the side of my head.  
She stopped, panting as she glared at me.  
"You're still trying to get rid of me," I growled, "haven't I been good to you?"  
Her lip wobbled even as she raised her chin in defiance, voice hitching as she spoke through clenched teeth, "you can't keep me in here, Neil."  
"This is...just temporary."  
She huffed, "what's your plan? Do you want to kill me?"  
"No."  
"Then what do you want?" She yelled.  
"I don't know!" I yelled back, "I need to think but you're so loud! You and your damn friends, you make so much noise, I can't think straight!"  
We stared at each other, chests heaving for a moment.  
"I need you to be quiet," my voice shook, "I need you to be good. Can you do that?"  
She nodded slowly.

I woke up on the floor, face to face with my son.  
"Katrina?"  
"She's...resting," I offered, sitting up.  
Billy grabbed the neck of our shirt, curled it into his fist and jerked me close.  
"I swear to God, if you hurt her, you bastard-"  
I smirked, "you'll what? Kill me? You kill me, you kill her, remember?" I grabbed his hand, untwisting it from our shirt, "I'm afraid you don't have the guts, son."  
He scowled and shoved away from me, "fuck you."  
I picked myself off the floor, brushing myself off as I glared down at him sulking on the floor.  
"You're pathetic."  
He got up slowly, shoulders drooping, and looked at me with tired eyes, "let me talk to her."  
"Can't do that."  
He was quiet for a second before sighing, "just, give her back to me...please."  
I stared at him, eyesbrows furrowed.  
"I can't lose her...I can't let you take anyone else from me."  
I stepped close, "there's no version of this where your Katrina wakes up and comes home. She's mine."  
"Katrina, please," he pleaded, "if you can hear me...I'm not giving up on you. None of us are."  
I scoffed, "she can't hear you," I grabbed the sides of his face, holding tight and choked out, "see?"

Billy's POV 

"See?"  
I was cast into darkness at the sound of Neil's guttural growl. Complete nothingness surrounded me, filling me with panic.  
"Do you see?" Neil and Katrina's voices echoed through the dark, mixing with different sounds. Wild cackling, metal crunching, wet coughing, screaming.   
"Katrina!" I yelled, barely distinguishable over the noise.  
"Katrina!" The darkness echoed back, taunting.  
A figure appeared from the dark, just long enough to catch my attention before disappearing and reappearing a few feet from my face. It was Katrina, covered in blood and dirt. She stared at me with pitch black, unblinking eyes, head cocked like she was studying me.  
"Katrina?"  
Her mouth opened to let black blood pour out with a gurgling laugh. I could still hear screaming around me, Katrina's voice begging for help. Arms reached around her, black and broken, fingers twisted into claws. A mangled face appeared over her shoulder, a single ice blue eye peering at me before turning to whisper in her ear.  
"Hey! What the hell is going on?"   
They both looked at me, smiles stretching too wide.  
"Do you see?"   
"What? See what?"  
She pointed behind me. I turned to see a large mirror behind me and when I looked back to where Katrina had been, both figures were gone.   
"Do you see," still ringing in my ears, I stepped close to the mirror.  
I saw Katrina, the real Katrina.   
I saw her lost in the city, scared and alone, memory wiped. I could feel that Neil was gone from her, but she couldn't remember anything, anyone.   
I saw her staring into a mirror, Neil's cold eyes staring back. I knew she was gone, that he'd taken over.  
I saw Katrina, body trembling as she looked at herself. I could feel the emptiness in her head, in her heart and knew that Neil was gone or locked away.  
She took a deep breath and raised her arm, a knife glinting in her hand. A quick sweep and blood started to pour from her throat.   
"No!" I yelled, my hand hitting the mirror.  
The images started moving faster, showing Katrina dying in different ways. Body twisted and broken on the sidewalk, blood pooling. Her skin blue and cold, bloated after being pulled from the water. Eyes going dull as she choked on vomit, body pumped full of poison.   
The mirror disappeared, dropping me back into darkness. The noises around me had stopped, leaving me in an eerie silence.  
"Do you see?"   
I turned to see Neil behind me.  
"There is no version of this where you get her back. I can keep her safe...alive."  
Neil's hands dropped from my face, snapping me back to real life. His shoulders slumped as he smirked, that cold, cruel smirk.  
"Do you see? She's mine."  
I stepped away from him, eyes watering, and left the room with my heart in my throat.

Katrina's POV 

The coffin I was in disappeared and I was pulled from the darkness, into a forest. I could hear someone crying somewhere in the trees. I followed the noise, weaving through the trees until I saw him. Neil, leaning over someone in the grass and crying. As I got closer, I could hear him repeating 'I'm sorry.' Blood was covering his hands, splattered on his face and pooling on the ground in front of him. I gasped when I saw my own body in the grass, glassy eyes staring into nothing.  
Neil's head snapped up to look at me, "Katrina?"  
I backed away, hands trembling as I held them in front of me. He scrambled to his feet, following me.  
"Katrina, it's okay, it's just a bad dream."  
"Stay back, Neil."  
"It's okay, I'm okay, I'm in control."  
I shook my head, tears streaming, "you're not...you're dangerous."  
His face twisted into a brief scowl before softening again, "I'm okay now. I won't hurt you, you know that."  
I thought of all the times gentle fingers had trailed on my skin, velvet lips stretching into a smile or lighting fires under my skin. Soft hair through my fingers and breathy moans. Lying on his warm chest, the echo of a heartbeat in my ear.  
"You know I care about you, don't you, Katrina?"  
I thought of all the times he'd locked me away, left me screaming and alone. Clawing at his arm while he held me underwater, the feeling of losing consciousness when he choked me, water lapping around my waist. The days I spent in bed, my stomach stitched up.   
"Yes," I murmured, letting him step closer, "I know."  
He smiled softly and I let him pull me into his chest. Strong arms wrapped around me and he buried his face in my shoulder. I felt relief wash over me when I slid my hands over his back.   
"Neil," I whispered.  
"Hmm?"  
"Let me into my body."  
I felt his body stiffen.  
"Just for a bit, just to sort some things out. Then we can be together."  
He pulled from the embrace to look at me, his face scared, hopeful.  
"Promise?"  
I smiled, "yes."  
A gentle hand cupped my cheek, thumb sweeping away the tears on my cheek before leaning in to kiss me.   
"Okay," he murmured against my lips.  
I woke up in my body, alone in Steve's bedroom. I could hear Billy and Riley talking in the living room and slipped quietly from the bedroom to the bathroom. Locked the door behind me and stood in front of the mirror, jaw set.   
"What are you doing?" Neil flickered in the reflection, staring back at me.  
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and punched the mirror. Glass fractured around my fist, breaking Neil's image and raining down into the sink.  
"Stop," he tried.  
I could hear Riley and Billy outside the door.  
I have to do it quick.  
Have to do it now.  
I grabbed a shard, held it tight in my hand until blood dripped and brought it up to my throat.  
"Katrina!" Billy yelled, pounding on the door.  
"Stop," Neil tried to take control, to stop me, but he was tired, weak.  
I felt the cool glass on my skin, biting in, and tried to end it. But my arm was ripped forward, a desperate attempt by Neil.  
"Katrina! Let us in!"  
"You can't do this...you said we'd be together."  
I struggled to get control of my arm back and looked into the pieces of mirror. Saw Neil there in the pieces looking back at me, some crying, begging me to be with him. Others angry, glaring at me with cold, dead eyes and a cruel smirk. Some pieces showed him dark and twisted, body broken and angular, black blood pouring from his mouth.  
"We will be."  
I jerked my arm forward, felt the sting of it. Felt warm blood pour, faster when my heart started to race.  
Heard the glass slicing through flesh, the blood splattering on the floor. Frantic pounding on the door, getting heavier and heavier.  
I choked on the blood, fell to the ground gurgling. Saw Neil in a piece of mirror on the ground, heard him screaming in my head. Let myself smile as the room went black.


	30. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the beginning of the end

Katrina's POV 

Darkness. All around me, consuming. Is this all there is?  
No, this can't be it. I can hear something.  
Sirens.  
Murmuring.  
Breathing.  
I can feel my chest rising and falling.  
Fuck.  
\--  
I woke, mind fuzzy, floating high in painkiller clouds. Had a brief thought to laugh and scream and cry about my failure. Didn't because I was lulled back to sleep.  
Somewhere else, I could hear Olivia humming gently, lulling me back to sleep.  
\--  
The next time I woke up, I was overcome with the smell of bleach. Too stiff blankets scratched my skin. I wiggled my fingers and toes, testing my control. I couldn't hear Neil, couldn't feel him, but deep down I knew he was still here.  
I opened my eyes, squinting under the bright lights at the bare room. There was nobody here waiting, noone sleeping softly in the chair beside my bed. I tried to talk, to call out, but a sharp spike of pain stopped me and I curled into myself with a groan. Laid there for a minute, breathing deeply as I waited for the pain to subside.  
"Hey, you're awake,"  
I looked over to see Billy poking his head in the door, a cup of coffee steaming in his hand.  
I tried to talk again, to ask him what happened, but opening my mouth sent another flash of pain. He hurried over and placed a notebook and pen in my lap.  
"You're not gunna be able to talk for a while," he explained.  
'What happened?' I scribbled.  
"What do you remember?"  
'Neil, he tried to stop me. Mirror.'  
He looked so weary when he nodded, "you tried to kill yourself...Katrina, I told you we'd find another way.."  
'No other way,' I gave him a thin smile.  
He reached over, took my hand in his and squeezed gently, "don't give up yet.."  
I met his eyes, saw the purple bags there and realized he was as tired as I was. Stressed and broken down like I was.  
"Don't give up on me," he murmured, "just give me some more time.."  
I squeezed his fingers and nodded. He sighed with relief, shoulders dropping and leaned to kiss my forehead. Sat down in the chair next to my bed, thumb sweeping gently across my hand.  
"How do you feel?"  
I scribbled messily with my free hand, 'hurts.'  
"Yeah, you did a number on yourself. Cut your tongue right in half," his fingers came up and brushed my cheek, across a cotton bandage I hadn't noticed, "got your cheek a bit too. Scared the shit out of me."  
'Sorry.'  
He smirked, his tongue between his teeth, "I almost asked them to keep your tongue split in two, oral would have been fantastic."  
I rolled my eyes and puffed air out my nose, the closest I could get to a laugh.   
'Asshole.'  
He laughed, proud of himself. I perked at the smell of citrus, eyes flicking to search for her.  
"What?" He asked, turning to look around the room and back at me.  
'Elle.'  
"She's here?"  
Billy smiled when I nodded and stood up.  
"I'll take a walk...give you a few minutes and come back with a doctor."  
I looked up at him, smiling as softly as I could and hoping he understood how grateful I was.  
It took a minute after Billy left for Elle to appear, her usual warm smile replaced with a sad, tight lipped one.  
"Hi, Katrina" she murmured.  
My eyes watered and I stretched out a hand to lace our fingers together. She gripped my hand tight and brushed her fingers over my hair.  
"What did you do to yourself?" She asked, "this isn't like you...you're a fighter."  
I shrugged, eyes flicking down.  
"Has he really broken you?"  
I pulled my hand from hers to hold my notebook and write, 'easier to give him what he wants. Or try again. Do it right.'  
Elle sighed, "you can't just give up. You have to be strong and fight him."  
Tears started to slip down my cheek, 'it's too hard. I'm tired.'  
"I know it's hard but you have to fight this bastard, okay? Give Billy some more time...he really loves you, you know?"  
I sniffed and nodded slowly.  
She cupped my cheek, fingers sweeping through tears, "and I know you love him too. And that's okay, let yourself love him, Katie. Just stop being stupid and tell him."  
I returned her smile and pointed at my mouth before writing, 'can't.'  
She laughed, "smart ass."  
'Love you, Ellie.'  
"I love you, Katie."  
She bent to kiss my forehead softly before disappearing.  
\--  
Billy brought me back to my apartment after the doctor explained what my healing would entail. A liquid diet and salt water rinses for two weeks, try not to talk until the stitches fall out and come back if an infection sets in. Tylenol and sleep to manage pain. I feel like I could sleep for two weeks straight, so that's easy enough.  
Let ourselves into my apartment and saw Steve and Riley standing there.  
"You're home!" Riley came over to hug me softly, "how are you feeling? Hungry?"  
I pulled back, held up my notebook and wrote, 'little hungry, tired.'  
She kept gentle fingers on my arm as she led me to the couch, "here, lie down. We got some groceries for you, I'll make you something."  
I sat down on the end of the couch, 'you didn't have to buy me food.'  
Riley smiled, eyes crinkling, "well we couldn't leave you with nothing to eat, all your food went bad."  
I went to scribble on my notepad, to ask how much I owed them but she stopped my hand.  
"We wanted to do it. Lay down, I'll get you some soup."  
Billy sat down on the other side of my couch, placed a pillow on his legs and patted it. He waited for me to lie down and get comfortable before covering me with the blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch.   
I wrote in the notebook and tapped his leg to get his attention.  
'How's Pudge?'  
"He's good, big now. I'll bring him over later."  
'My plants?'  
He smiled down at me, "we tried our best, a couple of them don't look too happy but you can take care of them later, just get some rest."  
His warm hand smoothed over my hair and I closed my eyes, letting myself drift to sleep.  
\--  
"Katrina."  
I hummed, not wanting to leave the dark. Not yet.  
Warm fingers brushed my skin, bringing the smell of the ocean and the feeling of dirt under bare feet to my head.  
"Come here."  
I opened them slowly, squinting against the light. Saw that I was on a beach and that Olivia was standing at the edge of the water, looking back at me with her fingers resting lightly on my arm.  
"Come on," she urged.  
I came forward, joining her at the water's edge. She clasped my hand tight in hers, smiling as she looked out into the horizon.  
"I used to read about pirates. Nasty men who murdered and stole. Left destruction and blood in the waves behind them."  
I looked over at Olivia, at the wistful smile on her face as the wind blew her hair over her shoulder.  
"Princes and princesses too. Women being swept away by Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Having all they ever dreamed of and more," she turned to look at me, "I thought I found my Prince Charming in Neil, but now I understand. Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same man and you don't get a happy ending. Not unless you can love both of them."  
I cast my eyes down, biting my lip.  
"But you can't, can you?"  
"No," I whispered.  
"I've seen love die way too many times when it deserved to be alive," she touched her knuckles under my chin, lifting my face to look at her, "I've seen you cry way too many times. You deserve to be alive and in love."  
"But, the only way to get rid of him is if I die, Olivia."  
She shook her head, "your heart has to stop, long enough for you to break his hold. But, there's a window of time where you can be brought back. Without him."  
"Is that it?"  
"There's also a chance that breaking his hold will wipe your memory."  
"What? Like, I won't remember anything?"  
A sad smile curled one side of her lips, "it's a possibility. But he'd be gone...you'd be free."  
\--  
"You sure about this?" Billy asked.  
I nodded.  
I'd just told him what Olivia had said in my dream. That there was a chance to end this once and for all. I left out the losing my memory part though, he didn't need to worry about that.  
"What if we can't bring you back?"  
'I'll be free,' I wrote.  
He ran a hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.  
"I'll talk to Steve and the girls, see if we can make a plan...but I'm not promising anything and you need to heal up first."  
'Thank you,' I smiled and reached to squeeze his fingers.  
His mouth twitched into a quick smile that withered when he looked away.  
\-- 3 weeks later  
The cabin loomed in the trees, dark and foreboding. Cold and empty still since the last time I was here. I half expected it to be closed up with caution tape. But there was nothing, no sign that anybody missed this cabin or the man that owned it.  
There was still a bag full of my clothes thrown on the floor and a pile of bloody bandages beside the bathroom sink. The only evidence of what had happened.  
My stitches had come out almost a week ago. Right when I started to feel Neil's presence coming back. When I started to hear whispers and see shadows at the edges of my vision. It was now or never, we decided.  
"Hey," Billy murmured, smoothing his hand over my shoulder and squeezing gently, "how ya feeling?"  
I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, "nervous."  
He huffed out a laugh at the lisp I developed re learning how to talk. He'd spent days howling with laughter when I first started talking again.  
I glared up at him and he squeezed me to his side.  
"We won't let anything happen to you. We've got it all figured out."  
"There's something else...something I didn't tell you."  
He tensed, "what?"  
"Olivia...she said there's a chance that if I wake up-"  
"When you wake up," Billy interrupted.  
"There's a chance that I won't remember anything..."  
He was quiet for a moment and then a slow smirk spread over his face.  
"I guess that means I'll get to blow your mind all over again...maybe I'll get the courage to tell you a little earlier."  
"Tell me what?"  
A light blush warmed his cheeks when he turned, dipping his face close to mine.  
"Tell you that I love you."  
\--  
"Okay, Katrina. You ready?"  
I nodded at Steve, hands sweaty at my sides.  
"Let's do this."  
He nodded once, face tight, "you've got four minutes until we need to bring you back. Riley, you guys ready?"  
I looked over at Riley, Brook, Audrey and Tris. They looked like warriors in all black clothes and matching stoney faces, like they would be the ones fighting off Neil for me.  
"Protections are set, ambulance is on the way just in case," Riley said, "as ready as we'll ever be."  
Steve blew out a long breath, shaking his hands out, "okay, let's do this. Audrey's going to use her powers to keep you still, just in case Neil tries to take over, okay? Try not to panic."  
I felt my body starting to tremble when I nodded and whispered, "okay."  
Billy stepped up in front of me, a plastic bag in his hands. He cupped my face and kissed me gently.  
"I love you," he murmured.  
"I love you."  
He slipped the bag over my head, pulling it tight around my neck. I felt Audrey's powers keeping me still, stopping me from thrashing and fighting until the darkness took over.  
\--  
I woke to find myself in Neil's world. The pink bathtub surrounded by lush plants to my right, the giant plush bed to my left. The fire crackled and popped angrily in front of me, flames growing to lick the outside of the fireplace.  
"Katrina? What did you do?"  
Neil appeared in front of me, eyes brimming with tears.  
"What did you do?" He yelled.  
"I have to end it, Neil," I murmured.  
"You can't do that...you can't do that to me, Katrina. What about us?"   
I closed my eyes when his knuckles brushed my cheek and leaned into the soft touch.  
"Katrina, please, just wake up," he begged, "we can be happy again...I've been trying to be good, you know that, right?"  
I could hear the fire crackling louder when I looked up at him, at his watery eyes and nodded, whispering, "I know.."  
"Then we up...I won't control you anymore, I promise...I love you, Katrina. Don't you love me?"  
My lip wobbled when I glanced away.   
"No."  
I felt my words hit him like a knife to the chest, felt the red hot pain settle in my heart.  
"No?"  
I took a steadying breath and looked back at him. At his sharp, angular face and icy blue eyes, his dark hair falling messily around his eyes.  
"I don't love you anymore," I choked.  
In a split second, he changed. He stopped crying and any sense of grief left him, replaced with burning rage. Strong hands wrapped around my throat, squeezing as tight as he could. Neil's lip pulled back with a sneer at the sound of me choking. I scratched frantically at his wrists, but he just squeezed harder, muscles shaking from the effort.  
Darkness spread in my vision, consuming while my lungs stopped gasping for air and I fell into nothingness.


	31. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the end. The final chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, my mental health was not good. Thank you to everyone who's enjoyed this story, it means a lot

Billy's POV 

"She's not waking up!"  
Steve pressed harder on Katrina's chest, forcing her heart to keep beating and yelled back at me, "I know!"  
He forced her head back to blow into her mouth, pausing for a moment before resuming CPR. There was an audible crack when one of Katrina's ribs broke under Steve's hands.   
"Oh god" Riley gasped as she clapped her hands over her mouth.  
I looked over at the girls. Riley, with her frightened eyes and glistening cheeks. Brook, with her fingers digging into Riley's arm as she tried to look anywhere but at Katrina's body on the ground. Audrey, who couldn't look away even as her sisters clung to her. Tris, who was holding Audrey's hand with a white knuckle grip.  
"Bring her back!" I hissed.  
"I'm trying!" Steve snapped, "just back the fuck up!" He scrubbed a hand down his face and huffed before continuing, "just...take the girls and go to the road, flag down the ambulance."  
\--  
Katrina's POV 

I came to with a gasp, still in Neil's world. Fire had started to spread outside the fireplace, slowly moving to consume this world. Neil stood in front of me, a knife in his hand as he clutched his head. His head snapped up to look at me when I moved.  
"Katrina," he breathed, falling to his knees to gather me in his arms, "I thought you were gone...I thought I was too late but I stopped myself. I can be in control, Katrina, I can. We can be happy, you just need to wake up...please."  
I wrapped my fingers around the knife in his hand, slowly pulling it into mine.  
"Don't you want to be with me?" He asked, "we can be together, Katrina. I love you."  
"I know," I murmured, "I know you do, Neil."  
I slid the blade between our chests, tipping the point against his skin. He pulled his face from my shoulder to look at me, eyes watering.  
"Don't," he murmured, "you don't have to do this."  
My hands shook and the blade nicked his chest, bringing a drop of blood to the surface. A flash and he was glaring down at me, pressing into the blade.  
"Do it...do it...do it!" Neil yelled, grabbing my arms tight.  
I flinched, the tip of the knife slipping into his skin. Screamed when the fire exploded out, raining bits of metal and brick around us. Neil pulled me close, shielding me. One of his hands fell behind me, keeping us stable until the rubble stopped falling.  
"If I can't have you, I'll take you with me," he growled in my ear.  
I choked on a cry when hot metal pierced the skin on my stomach, sizzling past muscle. A sick clattering when he pulled the metal from my flesh and dropped it to the ground.  
"Shhh," he whispered, his hand moving to cradle my face, "I've got you."  
Tears rolled down my cheeks, salty water catching on Neil's tongue.  
"It's okay," he soothed, "we'll be together now."  
His blood stained fingers wrapped around my wrist, forcing me to slide the blade of the knife between his ribs. A breath hitched when it pulled free and blood poured down his chest. Fingers gripped at burnt flesh, pressing in until I curled into his shoulder, teeth bared against his skin. Tears flowed hot down my cheeks, dripping to roll down Neil's shoulder. He tried to talk, to comfort me, but a wet cough sprayed into my neck instead.  
I could see the edges of this world he'd created crumbling. Burning to ash and floating away into the darkness. I watched through unfocusing eyes as the pink bathtub slowly disappeared.  
"I...love..you," he choked.  
"I know."  
\--  
Billy's POV 

"You're gunna wear out the floor, pacing like that."  
"And you're going to be chewing on bone pretty soon," I quipped back, turning to look at Audrey.  
She lowered her hand from her mouth and returned my glare with a huff. A smile pulled at Tris's lips as she untangled her fingers from Audrey's other hand and stood up.  
"Come on," Tris soothed, touching my arm gently, "let's take a walk..get some coffee."  
I followed her from the waiting room, neither of us talking as we made our way to the cafeteria. Tris ordered the coffees, quietly talking to the older woman behind the counter while I stared at the too white walls around us.  
This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let Katrina put herself in danger in the first place. I didn't need to talk to my mom.   
"It's not your fault," Tris murmured, pushing a steaming paper cup into my hand.  
I tightened my fingers on the cup, letting the sting of burning skin distract me. She led me towards a lonely table against the back wall of the cafeteria, set the tray of coffees down and pulled out a chair to sit. I slumped into the chair across from her, wrapping both hands around the cup now.  
"You a mind reader or something?"  
She smiled, pulling the lid off her coffee to stir in sugar, "don't need to be to know what you're thinking, you might as well be screaming it to the world."  
I sighed, "it was stupid, letting her do that for me.."  
"Did it heal you? Talking to your mom?"  
I thought back to that night in the basement, my mom's voice mixing with Katrina's. The feeling of old walls breaking down, of relief washing over still raw wounds. Wounds that didn't hurt so much anymore.  
I thought of Katrina hitting the floor, the cruel voice that came from her after that. Her burnt skin after blacking out in the shower, the smell of her blood in the cabin.   
"Yes, but-"  
Tris's smooth fingers wrapped around mine, "then it wasn't stupid. Katrina knew the risks, she wanted to help you. And Olivia."  
"But...if she dies.."  
"Don't give up on her, Billy. She's strong."  
\--  
Katrina's POV 

I woke up in a forest, surrounded by black, twisted trees illuminated by roaring flames. The cabin where Neil had taken over poured black smoke as it burned.   
"You're going to die here, with us."  
I spun to see the dark version of myself step out of the trees. Her skin had paled even more, black veins now visible through near transparent skin. Black eyes now burned like embers in the hollows of her face. Her fingers had turned black and I could see trails of ash floating away from her.  
A haunting wail sounded through the forest, making my hair stand on end.  
"You're dying," I murmured.  
A smile, "we're dying, Katrina. You're coming too."  
"Is he gone?"  
She shook her head and pointed to the cabin, a wisp of ash following her movement. I watched as a figure appeared through the blaze. Neil strode forward through the fire, unbothered by the heat and the smoke. But he had changed, back to the twisted man from my nightmares. His beautiful, sharp face was now a bloody agonized snarl. His chest and torso bent and broken at harsh angles. Blackened fingers curled into sharp claws that dug into my skin when he grasped my chin. The sound of metal twisting and screaming rang loud in my head at his touch.  
"We could have had everything," he growled, dark blood pouring from his mouth when he spoke.  
"Neil, please," I pleaded.  
"I loved you!" he yelled, sharp fingers moving to twist in my hair and yank my head back.   
His other hand dug into the wound on my stomach, fingers reaching and cutting into my body. Tears ran down my face as I screamed and pleaded for him to let me go.   
Olivia's words played in my head, 'I thought I found my Prince Charming in Neil, but now I understand. Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same man and you don't get a happy ending. Not unless you can love both of them.'  
I looked up at Neil's mangled face and cupped it gently with my hand. He looked confused when he met my gaze.  
"I...love...you," I whispered, shivering violently as I tried and failed to keep my eyes open.  
His face had returned to normal when I opened my eyes again; I realized he had lowered us to the ground and was crying.  
"You what?"  
"I...I..love..y-you.."  
He smiled softly, tipped his head forward to touch his lips to my forehead and pressed a handle into my hand. His fingers wrapped around mine, keeping the handle tight in my hand and pressed the tip of a blade to his chest.  
"Neil...I-I'm..so cold," I stammered.  
"I know," he soothed, "it's okay, it'll be over soon. I love you.."  
His grip on my fingers tightened and he pushed the blade into his chest in one fluid motion. He gasped and shuddered, leaning heavy over me. I laid there, under his dying body, as the forest around us went up in flames.  
I opened my eyes again when I felt the weight on my chest fading away and saw ash floating off Neil.  
"Olivia," he breathed before disappearing.  
A jagged chasm ripped open in my chest when I felt his absence. A final searing pain before I would fade with him.  
Slowly, I heard humming getting louder and louder. That same tune that I grew up listening to Olivia hum.  
I'll be with you soon, Olivia. You and Elle.  
Cool fingers brushed my forehead, bringing the feeling of warm sun on my face and the sound of rolling waves.  
"My girl," she soothed, gently brushing my hair off my face.  
I fought to crack my eyes open to look at her. Olivia's blonde hair shone like a halo around her and she smiled softly through her tears.  
"O..liv," I struggled.  
"Ssh..it's okay now, Katrina. You did it, you fought so well. I'm so proud of you."  
"C..old.."  
Her hand scrambled for mine, squeezing my fingers tight, "I know, my girl, just let me help you, okay? I'll make it all better."  
She leaned down and pressed a feather soft kiss to my forehead and with a last labored breath, I slipped into darkness.  
\--  
Billy's POV 

A frantic call over the intercom had doctors and nurses running past Tris and I as we made our way back to the waiting room. We glanced at each other and hurried to follow, finding the girls holding hands like scared children while Steve talked hurriedly to a nurse he had pulled aside. I stared at his face, watching it pull tight as Tris handed out the now cooled coffees. He nodded, lips tucked into a thin line and let the other nurse run off. Took a second to breathe before coming back to us.  
"Steve, what's going on?" Riley asked softly.  
Steve's mouth opened and closed and I saw his lip tremble a bit before he exhaled and ran a hand over his hand and through his hair.  
"Her...her heart stopped."  
The air punched out of my lungs and I felt the room narrow around me.  
"No. No, that can't...There's gotta be a mistake."  
"Yeah, I fucked up," Steve snapped, "I shouldn't have agreed. I'm not a fucking doctor," his resolve broke and he started shaking, "I broke her ribs...I made everything so much worse.."  
Riley left Audrey and Brook in the chairs to go to Steve, wrapping her arms around his neck as he leaned to tuck his face into her shoulder. His hands gripped at her shirt so tight that I could see his tendons strain under his skin.  
"You did everything you could, Steve. This isn't your fault," Riley soothed.  
\--  
"Come on, Billy. It's been two days, let's all go home and shower. We can get some good food and a nap then come back," Audrey tried.  
"You guys go ahead," I mumbled, "I need to be here."  
Tris's lips pulled into a frown, "you need to take care of yourself too, Billy."  
"I need to be here," I repeated, an edge to my voice, "she needs me to be here when she wakes up."  
Steve knelt in front of me, his blue scrubs too vibrant against the white floor, "buddy, we don't know if or when she's going to wake up...or if she'll remember us even. Go home and get cleaned up, I can take care of her."  
"Steve, I can't. I need to be here for her, I can't leave."  
He sighed, stood up and squeezed my shoulder, "okay."  
"Can I see her yet?"  
He gave me a strained smile, "I'll see what I can do."  
\--  
"You've got five minutes," Steve explained as he led me to Katrina's room, "I'll be right outside."  
"Thanks, Steve."  
He stopped at the door and looked at me, "just...she wasn't doing well. Brace yourself."  
I nodded and pushed through the door, stopping dead on the other side. She looked like a corpse lying in the bed, skin pale and dull. Her face looked hollow, all too tight skin and dark shadows. The   
Monitors beeped all around her, breathing for her and keeping her alive.  
I breathed out heavily and stepped up to the side of her bed, taking her limp hand in mine. Careful not to touch any of the IVs, I squeezed her hand gently and knelt to kiss her knuckles.  
"Hey Katrina," I croaked, "I hope you can hear me...It's probably selfish to ask you to hold on...So, I just want you to know...You don't have to fight anymore...I know you're tired and...if you want to stop..." I clenched my jaw tight and sniffed, "if you...it's okay..you can let go..." I took a second to steady myself before continuing, "I love you, Katrina."  
\--  
I sagged in the chair, head falling heavy to the side. Steve and the girls had gone home this morning and I was falling asleep waiting for them to return. I let my head fall back, closed my eyes and let myself drift.  
"Billy...Billy, wake up."  
I jerked awake to see Riley smiling at me, "you know, you'd sleep better at home."  
I grabbed the coffee in her outstretched hand and mumbled, "can't leave," before taking a swig.  
She smiled and sat beside me, "hear anything?"  
"No, got to see her for a bit earlier though. Her fingers moved."  
Her smile widened, "well that's good news, right?"  
Steve sipped on his coffee across from us, "it happens sometimes, nerves firing."  
"I think it's a sign," she mused.  
"Maybe," I murmured.  
\--  
It was the middle of the night when suddenly there were nurses and a couple doctors crowding into Katrina's room again. Steve, Riley and I sat up, watching the hallway.  
"What's going on?" Riley asked.  
Steve shook his head, "I don't know.."  
"Do you think..?" She looked at him with watery eyes.  
"There's no code being called..." he mumbled, standing to stare down the hall.  
Riley pulled her phone from her bag to call her sisters and curled into her chair, chewing her nails as we waited to hear something.  
\--  
An hour later Audrey, Brook and Tris rushed into the waiting room with us just after a nurse had come to update us.  
We'd get to see her soon.  
We waited with baited breath for someone to let us into her room. Waited to see if Katrina was herself or a shell. Waited to see how badly things had gone wrong.  
Almost an hour later and we still hadn't heard anything new. Almost an hour later before we heard a door open and a nurse walked put into the hall. She stood just outside the door, looking into the room and waiting.  
Slowly we saw an IV get pushed out of the door.  
"Oh my god," Riley whispered.  
The nurse reached out to offer a steadying hand to Katrina as she shuffled through the doorway.   
"Holy shit," Audrey gasped.  
The girls and Steve gathered in front of me as we watched her make her way down the hall. Her hands gripped the nurse and the IV pole tight, keeping her up on shaky legs. She was battered and bruised, a ring of purple circling her throat. But she was here, awake and alive.  
But does she remember?  
Katrina made it to the waiting room and was immediately swarmed as everyone else ran forward to hug her. I hung back, watching tears of relief run down cheeks. Felt a wave of warmth brush over my heart and the sting of tears in my eyes.  
After a moment, everyone broke away and Katrina looked me, a pained expression on her face. I came forward, stopping just in front of her, waiting to see if she remembered.  
"I know," she murmured, "I look like roadkill."  
"No, you look beautiful. As always."  
"And you're a charming liar."  
She rested a hand lightly on my chest, slowly trailing up to my neck, a smile playing on her lips as she pulled me close.  
"As always."


End file.
